When relationships are over

Something I think about often is how to determine when a relationship is over.

I have a few friends that have recently gone through divorces.  I can only imagine what that is like but it would seem that there is a knowledge that the relationship is over even before having to make the descision to end the marriage.  That knowledge would then seem to be confirmed by the divorce process and is finalized with the official court papers signifying the completion of the divorce.  There is for some a sense of closure, and some have a celebration of sorts, and that realization that it truly is over and they can move on to a new phase of their lives.

For a widower it is different, and for a widower suffering a sudden loss it is different that that of those who have gone through a long illness.  On April 4th 2002 my relationship with Cindy ended.  I wasn't ready for it to end.  I'm still not ready for it to end.  She is still the mother of my children, she is still the love of my life.  But she isn't here anymore.  There is an official document signifying the end of the relationship, but it is a death certificate.  There is no sense of closure.   It is a relationship that has ended and will never end.  How do you move on to a new phase of life when the old phase is both over and not over at the same time?