Greiving Horniness

I never would have thought I'd be reading a post with mentions of both Kubler-Ross and Horniness in it.  I started to post something about it and then thought better.  Thought again and couldn't refrain from saying something.

Nina is talking about emotional progressions as related to sexual desire.  I find it extremely ironic that she paired it with the stages of grief.  I find myself experiencing the stages of both at the same time.  I wonder if I can come up with the stages of sexual desire (confusion) for the grieving widow/widower.

Early on the emotions are fully engulfed in the sadness, fear, horror of the loss, and for me with a sudden loss there is a part of the mind that goes through denial and wants to pretend things haven't changed.  The love is still there, the desires may still be there, but the person those emotions are destined for is gone.

I found that my emotions were extremely heightened in that first year.  I was crying at the drop of a hat. I would feel at times a sense that all my emotions were magnified.  Not just the sadness, and pain of the loss.  So when I felt the extreme desire for human contact it too was much larger than normal.  This is somewhere around level 5 on Nina's scale.

Now it feels more like all my emotions have been used up, worn out.  There is a sense of numbness.  There is no desire, no wants, and no needs.  Just a dull greyness where emotions used to be.  This is a new level beyond Nina's scale.  There no longer is any horniness.  The love is still there although it is nowhere near the bright burning feeling I once had.  It is more of a faded memory of what it once felt like.