. . . close eyes . . . afterimage of the multi-coloured kite hanging like a calder mobile over the bed fades . . . where . . .

. . . she was in berlin . . . back from istanbul and the bus ride of hell . . . accosted at the cheap hostel and street pursued constantly she wondered if it had been worth . . . where is he? . . . there was the amazing church . . . locked gate, under construction yet somehow they received permission to perform . . . expectedly enough she had fought with p . . . shouldn't have . . . knows nothing of the work . . . wants to direct of course . . . everyone does . . . said he was "helping" . . . feel sorry for him . . . not his fault . . . wants to be capable and thinks he is . . . hopeless and helpless . . . a grey smog hangs around the buildings . . . choke near vomiting . .. soulless and crying black tears . . .

. . . still no answer . . . she caressed the burnished glass nerve beads following them down to the silver metal tassels and was sure he would love them their myriad earthen shades each a mystical world dipped into a enigmatic rich turkish coffee . . . maybe he could stop biting his nails . . . she'd keep them in the tacky speckled blue container . . . he seemed to like all things blue . . . she screamed . . .

. . . does berlin have a river . . . always felt better by a river . . .

. . . that had been, what, two years ago . . . he could retrieve the emails . . . had difficulty deleting anything and made multiple backups after losing the first years of contact . . . crashes and panic had taught nothing is reliable . . . twisting onto his side, fumbling for the remote threw it aside before pressing power deciding to forgo the numbness that comes with radio drone . . . sun has warmed even this north faced room . . . "You with the darkness- slingshot, you with the stone: . . . how did the rest go . . . celan . . . ok time to smell the coffee . . . tongue flicked to the chipped molar not checking for any more damage just delighting in the touch . . . getting quite used to the the sharp fissure . . .

. . . cop in the head said do your stretches . . . that's where you are . . . in a stretch preparing intent . . . balanced, feet square distance equivalent to the shoulder's width . . . knees slightly bent, back muscles of the leg tensed . . . arms kept slightly bent and thumb locked . . .