Theresa Spiess (Montalbetti)

April 24,1958 - December 21, 2005

Theresa
sister lost
currents run deep and quiet
a bond ardent beneath the pulse of life
voicing hope and strength your last words possessed a fierce caring
"saw the perfect gift for you" you spoke
soft, full tones betrayed all the suffering that tore at my gut
till when parting tears clenched my breath
echoing a merciless hollow cry

salt water flowed between us
now silence

flying to the place you called home
clouds below stars above
twilight

Is this what you gentle souls see departing?

hope rests resigned as if in transit
knowing redemption will come

i have no gifts and carry a vast void
an emptiness that embraces the living

memories soothe little
for the struggle whispers beauty
is to be present
where presence is tangibly lost

dearest Theresa
blood sister
ascend, descend, ascend
a thin rose line caresses the horizon between the sky and heaven
like a lock of your most delicate and fine red hair
the thin rose line
an angels path fleetingly clear fading into the invisible thread
guiding a tried and true love

eyes close in prayer
imagine
give peace a chance
to rest, to sleep, to awake
a new dawn born
in your eyes
sister found
at last
(morning of December 23 on plane to Hope,BC)

:: note :: . . . the picture above was taken a year before i left my family at nineteen departing on the journey called life . . . that was the face of the sister no matter how she aged i always remembered . . . an intense childhood contact was followed by sporadic adult meetings as our ways seldom crossed . . . many questions haunt . . . the largest being why do i miss her so much . . .

A BLESSED NEW YEAR TO ALL

green green green under a green banana tree angels come & go

guardian flashing lights flicker past into present beyond to dream the green

dance dance dance the steam off the water the frost off the branches

dazzling currents of care prototypes for new understandings to the brown around the center of the eye

"Chinese poems are like strings of jewels."

"The jewels are Chinese characters, each of which represents a one-syllable word."

"These little word-jewels are hard and unchanging, but when they are translated into English, each one seems to have several different meanings."

". . ."

"The heart of the jewel never changes but its surface reflects the light in many different ways."(Greg Whincup. The Heart of Chinese Poetry)

:: note :: . . . reading the poems of Li Bai . . . Quiet Night Thoughts & many more . . . the above was written about Question and Answer on the Mountain . . . the link has not the word-jewel translation that Whincup creates . . . some poems are jewels . . . some days are jewels . . .

"What is more valuable than gold? Light. "

"What is more precious than light? Conversation"

- J.W. von Goethe

Emerging Out of Goethe: [PDF] Conversation as a Form of Social Inquiry Allan Kaplan

(via wood s lot)

:: note :: . . . pdf files (present personal technology) does not allow easy cut&paste quotes . . . Kaplan moves Goethe principles into new realms exploding conversation . . . suffice to say the ideas are a feast . . . & Mark thanks for feasting the eye with Klee and Kandinsky . . .

"The idea of improvisation means that we confront ourselves with our own individual creativity."(EDN | Improvisation: Keith Jarrett - The Köln Concert)

]:: note :: . . . street theater, teaching & listening to coltrane taught me about the above principle of improvisation: retrieving the mystery . . . spent the day reflecting, through reading exams & journals, a tightly structured & at the same time a purposeful improvised class journey . . . the thread between discipline&spontaneity . . .

forgiveness
    give
for
    grieve
for
    live
for
    give
yourself &
          me
forgive

"Some people walk away from creative endeavours when they're feeling emotional, or by taking a break and getting some distance. Others use their art to process challenging emotional experiences; pouring their heart out into their work or using it as a cathartic experience."

"..."Many of the artists described highly creative times when they are responding to strong emotions and want to express them through their art [~] transduce them from one form of energy to another."

"...When we feel, we begin to be alive. When we express a feeling, we share with the rest of the world that we are alive. When we express a feeling through music, we invite the rest of the world to share in our experience of the feeling, and to be alive with us."

"...Sometimes I hear people say that they'll get to their creative project, their creative dream, as soon as things "calm down" in their life. And yet it's the creative process itself that's usually the most effective at bringing about the calmness of mind and emotional stillness that we crave."

"I think the sharing of feeling through various forms of creativity is the strongest tool we have for communicating and fostering change."(mousemusings|Emotions and Thoughts in the Creative Process)

:: note :: . . . (wish the citations had links) . . . feeling . . . the intelligence of feeling . . . the creative process itself creates feeling or rather questions/challenges/responses . . . feelings may be dialogues . . . sun&moonlight dialogues . . . rising and falling . . . ebb&flow tides . . . the creative process involves expression which induces reflection . . . reflection & dialogue on feeling . . . a dialogue with oneself and the Other . . .

"Beauty, it seems, is immutable, at least when incarnated - fixed - in the form of art, because it is in art that beauty as an idea, an eternal idea, is best embodied. Beauty (should you choose to use the word that way) is deep, not superficial; hidden, sometimes, rather than obvious; consoling, not troubling; indestructible, as in art, rather than ephemeral, as in nature. Beauty, the stipulatively uplifting kind, perdures."(Susan Sontag | An argument about beauty)

"The death of Susan Sontag, in 2004, served to point out just how much things had changed . . . She spray-painted on the walls of the academy the incendiary line, 'In place of a hermeneutics we need an erotics of art.'" (The Chronicle of Higher Education|Literary Aesthetics: the Very Idea)

:: note :: . . . last december reading of her death felt a sense of loss . . . spent decades perusing the thoughts, ideas, politics, essays & actions . . . always an activist & forever an artist she personified beauty . . . bringing beauty into life is a creative act . . . is generous . . . is a sensibility . . . celebrates . . . recognizes . . . whether it be four seconds, minutes, hours, years, decades, milleniums . . .

"Enigmatic form is living form; like life, an iridescence, an invitation to the dance, a temptation, or irritation. No satisfying solutions, nothing to rest in; nothing to way us down."

"Meaning is in the play, or interplay, of light. As in schizophrenia, all things lose their boundaries, become iridescent with many-coloured significances. No thing, but an iridescence, a rainbow effect. An indirect reflection; or refraction; broken light, or enigma."

"Meaning is not in things but in between; in the iridescence, the interplay; in the interconnections; at the intersections, at the crossroads. Meaning is transitional as it is transitory; in the puns or bridges, the correspondence." (Norman O. Brown. Love's Body. Chapter: Freedom, 245-46)

:: note :: . . . do you know how to live with love . . . to give life & love meaning . . . provoke and not hurt or cause pain . . . the rainbow is broken light . . . does the light break willingly into the iridescence . . .

shu ha ri

The three phases to mastership: To learn by rote combined with spontaneity, to come to an understanding of the problems by constant practice and relinquishment of spontaneity, and masterly treatment of the problems and spontaneity on a higher level.

:: note :: . . . life weaves breathlessness these days . . . thrown into blood streams that swirl dizzyingly . . . trembling the spirits play . . . caught of guard nipping at the edge . . . a circle bead caresses the mouth . . . swallow the world . . .

Dear all, I invite you to my reenactment of Theresa Cha's A Ble W ail. December 9th, Friday at 9pm. Tisch School of the Arts, 6th Fl. Room 636, New York.

:: note :: ... :: note :: . . . am humbled by your following the destiny laid before you . . . congratulations with all the joy and love you deserve . . . the trials and tribulations seem so worth it . . . still much work as we breathe into Cha . . . take care & feel the support . . . & many thanks ben for the documentation . . .

"2. Intuitive Intelligence. Intuitive intelligence is the ability to learn complex skills and solve problems on a subconscious basis; for example, a child learning to speak without learning the rules of grammar. The rules of grammar actually were learned, but the child cannot tell you want they are. This type of intelligence is particularly powerful at picking up patterns in a seemingly chaotic situation. When the right answer to a complex problem pops into your head but you can't figure out how you came up with it, it's probably the product of your intuition. Important: Intuitive intelligence is better at solving certain types of complex problem than our conscience, sensory intelligence."(Born to Explore! The Other Side of ADD | The Intuitive Brain)

(originally found at mousemusings Complexity and Intuitive Thought)

:: note :: . . . the practice: it is important to actually place yourself in situations which demand intuitive responses . . . to stand face to face with unanswerable questions & answer them . . . to engage in creative exchanges . . . i articulate this process as being open hearted . . .

a cup of coffee a gaze divine so many thoughts & words entwined

kneeling rest the rhythm of the heart for yours is thine to shine

imagine

"Immensity is within ouselves. It is attached to a sort of expansion of being that life curbs and caution arrests but which starts again when we are alone. As soon as we become motionless we are elsewhere; we are dreaming in a world that is immense. Indeed, immensity is the movement of motionless man. It is one of the dynamic characteristics of quiet daydreaming." (Gaston Bachelard. The Poetics of Space. p184)

:: note :: . . . when dreaming with the Other the motionless makes motion . . . a playful, prayful dance of intimate immensity . . . the Other side of dream . . . active tranquil dimensions evolving into vast perspectives . . . correspondances as transactions . . . Bachelard writes: ". . . two spirits that are identically sensitive can sensitize the center and horizon in different ways. In this connection a sort of plains test could be used that would bring out different types of reactions to infinity." . . . yes we may hold Blake's " Infinity in the palm of (our) hands" and different "Eternit(ies) in an hour" . . . so let the paprika plains exalt us & the plains river sand float fluid absent and nowhere to wide open spaces to calm and humanize . . . trust, concentration, respect and love . . .

"there are several things you can do to design conversations that matter: 1. Be present. 2. Work with real questions. 3. Invite the edge. 4. Pause, reflect, discern. 5. Harvest deeper learnings."( Conversation changes the world | Parking Lot)

:: note :: . . . saw this in action the other day . . . yet chris articulates the steps in a brilliant manner . . . in fact Parking Lot is a dazzling gem which when held in the gaze opens the poetics and practice space . . .

"Last week saw the end of the mystical autumn drama, The Little Mermaid. It began six weeks previous with a small group of high school students and an exuberant young teacher with a simple script. No one imagined what complex and amazing results would come."

"Somewhere between the early line runs and the final bow, the spirit of drama touched our lives. In such a short time, this cast grew to a point that I have never seen before. It was a blossoming of talent, energy and passion that I will never forget."

"I have never seen a cast grow so much in my four years of acting. I saw once silent, serene individuals break through with new voice that shattered the stage and enveloped the auditorium. I saw characters come alive within the actor, as young women's faces filled with tears on that stage. I saw some, who once stayed hidden beyond the lights, break forth into the bright beams. I saw my fellow actors flourish in a way that I have never seen. Everyone reached new, fantastic heights: both as actors and as people."

"We were all touched in some strange, spiritual way. This performance shall remain forever in my memories: the thoughts, the prayers, the dances, the tears, the heart, the love. I have never felt love in the way that I felt it in this performance. I felt the love for another person: a neighbour; a friend. I have formed many friends in these last six weeks. I love each and every one of you. This piece shall live in my heart forever because of your work, your dedication, your heart. Thank you" (student writing in school newspaper)

:: note :: . . . neither will I . . .

response fragments to dance performance . . .

intimate immensity / concentration of the wanderer / wisdom of the "old ways" & practises being passed through very specific modes of movement - voicing / correspondance of lyrical spirits / intensity of evolving / transforming intensity into being / the exaltation of space beyond frontiers

. . . shall articulate towards a statement . . .

trust falling into trust feathers lifting into dancing shells of heartfelt thanks words of honour & sandalwood scent bathes the day

. . . sometimes when you just give others space traces of beauty follow you to eternity . . .