Friday

I made an interesting sociological observation this morning on my way to school. It seem to me that so-called "lower class" people take great pains to be dressed in the height of neat fashions, whereas more "middle class" and even some "uppers" tend to dress down; old clothes, ripped up jeans, cheap of second-hand stuff. Strange, as if they're both trying to escape the positions society gives them.

I had an interesting discussion with Mr. K about formulating a mathematical expression for the English language, a monumental task, even on simple terms. He referred me to the work of Noam Chomsky. I also auditioned for orchestra today, and took the theory test that will put me in the advanced theory class. It was easy.

B and I get along very well. I enjoy her company immensely. I seem to be having an easier time getting along in our grade with less friction than last year. Perhaps it was all in my head. Mr. R came back and it made me feel sad because here was someone who got a bad impression of me, and probably will never change it. I wish I could do something about it. The situation sort of makes me think about the one with D. I keep arguing back and forth with myself whether or not to write him, I think maybe I will. It is a very engrossing and semi-depressing train of thought.

We're reading Hemingway in English, which I really like. We are reading Rhinoceros in French. I like the teacher whose name is (I finally found out) Mrs. R. I may have mentioned her before.

This night I watched Planet of the Apes and I thought it was a good, not to mention entertaining, film. I still wish I had done some more practicing to supplement that sketchy bit I did in school. Why can't I repulse, ignore, defy etc. that damned idiot box, even when I know and want better?! Such idiocy on my own part is really disgusting. I hereby declare that I will wean myself from that machine once and for all by the end of next week! (next Friday in other words.) I must decide that my fluting is more important than any dumb entertainment that tube of glowing radiation can provide. Tomorrow is GBYSO at the ungodly hour of 8:30!! It is now midnight. Something tells me it might be a good idea to get some sleep. "Making the z's" as M would say, or "getting the sack" and "hitting the hay" from JK. Even a little "shut-eye" would be in order. I've sunk to an all-time low in journal entries, babbling like an idiot. Perhaps I'll do better tomorrow. (My overdue books finally got to the library!!)

Saturday

GBYSO was depressing. I am one out of ten flutes in the wind ensemble. We played some ok stuff ~ Pictures at an Exhibition, Handel's Fireworks Suite (first movement), and the Hindemith Symphony in B flat, a truly neat piece, and rather hard too. About two thirds of the flutists had gone to GBYSO camp and knew the music. I didn't make any friends, all the flutists seem to be very cold girls. I tried, I smiled alot, and tried to make feeble conversation, but...

The best thing about the meeting was seeing E and B and so on, but especially seeing J, a really nice guy. And a fantastic French horn player!! A- gave me a distinctly cold shoulder. Too bad, while I am not exactly dying to be his friend I sure as hell don't want to be his enemy. But there's nothing I can do about it, except continue or attempt to be pleasant and just see what happens. The conductor is OK, a younger guy came in for a few minutes and conducted, and I like him much better for some reason, more energy I guess. I asked Mr. S about chamber groups and he said that would be done later in the year, and that people were either picked or auditioned for it. Oh God, just how great does that make my chances? I'm not a bad flutist, but compared to the numbers and other talents around me, well...

The whole school is going up for Hancock this Fall, it'll be a madhouse. I am hoping that me, K, and B can make it to AH from there. Perhaps I could even have a lesson. But that's right around the time Ms. B will be expecting the bébé. Alas, I shall probably be foiled again.

Tonight I worked on the second movt. of my Fantasy II (The Red Fantasy). It is definitely going to go somewhere, I am excited about it. It is the one creative thing I do that is truly original, all my own, and what I and only I make it. I also like it, but then (of course) I compose to my own musical taste. It seem to combine the sounds and rhythms reminiscent of Hindemith with the melodies and smoother line of French composers, plus something else to pull it all together and make it unique, that little bit of me. Now, if I could just get up the nerve to write for two parts...

My parents are complaining about feeling their age. I know it must be sad and frustrating for them, and it is for me too, but after awhile I get a bit sick of hearing about it all of the time. God, it's late. And I'm tired. Good night.

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Last updated: 11/10/02; 2:21:42 PM.
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