Friday

Finished Gray Matters. Entertaining. Nothing more. Turns out there wasn't any school today anyway. I feel much better, particularly since the headache went away. Tomorrow I shall perhaps get out and do some shopping. M can sleep over Super Sunday! The only problem is, I have GBYSO. That does pose a bit of a problem. I'll talk to her on the morrow.

Our phone was on the fritz quite a long time yesterday. Probably because of ice on the wires or some such. We watched Hawaii on the boob tube. One of those stories where nothing works out right. Why do I have to see these things? You see I can't win. When I see the ones where everything works out right, I get depressed because I know that'll never happen to me, and when I see one where everything goes wrong I get depressed because that's the way things are.

My new music stand came today. It's a pretty good one, and it's all in one piece, which is nice because I'll never lose one of the sections and be stuck without the rest. The carrying case is kind of ugly, but it looks rugged.

I haven't practiced in three days. I feel totally at a loss, I must practice a long time tomorrow somehow, even if I have to steal a flute! It's late, I must turn out the light. I ascribe a large amount of my swift healing progress to the fact that I meditated about twice the normal amount each day. I shall do my best in the future to make sure that I meditate twice like I'm supposed to. When things are so hectic it sometimes get hard, though.

I just noticed that my nose changed. It's got indents and hangs down in places where it didn't use to twenty-four hours ago. I can't stand it. It looks ugly.

Saturday

Finally practiced ~ for 2 1/2 hours ~ and God did I sound awful. The punishment for irregular habits. We were going to go shopping but we cleaned the downstairs instead. I made myself a pair of earrings like the ones I gave M. I still haven't called her.

J called, she was wondering if I was going to JR's party. Claro que no. She sounded cheerful and careless, even more than usual. I wonder what's happening with her. Someday I've gotta get that ring back to her. She told me that T left on her bus on Thursday. Good luck T baby, wherever you are. I hope the storm didn't screw her up too much.

We watched Growing Up Female on TV. There wasn't much in the film that was news to me, but the discussion afterwards was fascinating. Among the men, the ones who were the most open-minded were the ones who had been divorced ~ liberal in proportion to the # of times divorced! Pretty strange. The college student didn't come off too well. The whole thing was interesting, though. It made me think. What are my real values anyway.

When I went to borrow her flute I talked with Young J about Jehovah's Witnesses and all that and related matters. She seemed impressed with their spiel, which does have a certain amount of sense in it. I tried to get her to see the whole issue in a realistic light. I hope that she does not go off and become a Jesus Freak or some equivalent thereof. She is a smart kid, and already probably has somme set of values that work for her. I surely wish her luck. She also said that I could borrow her flute for GBYSO. That was nice, although I feel guilty about taking it anywhere, since it's not mine.

I should have meditated a second time today. I started off and mmost of the day a really awful sore throat. Then it went away, not it's coming back. I'm gonna go get a Contac and then turn out the light. I sound like a frigging TV commercial.

Sunday ~ Super Sunday (Superbowl VIII)

The Dolphins won, as I predicted, by ten pts or more! My favorite team is No. 1! Let's see, I helped a bit with some housework and went to GBYSO, playing on Young J's flute. I should get my baby back tomorrow or Tuesday. I can hardly wait. As for school, well, one must accept the inevitable or be perpetually frustrated and tormented. Right now anyway I like to think of that as being temporary.

As for French, B said it was due on Friday, and if that's the case, I am in real trouble, but I thought she gave us extensions. I will plead innocent if charged with wrongdoing. I am doing quite well with TTOG, at least starting the last section I'm going to read, BLUE TROUSERS. Already the story is branching out wider and wider, and blurring its focus a little bit from Genji mainly to include other people too.

What else is new? Well, Mr. D-, father of J and D- Jr. is here for overnight. I remember I liked J- when yrs. ago he was posing for Mom, but I couldn't understand his interest in WWII and flying fortresses and such. I also like D-. If left to ourselves we'd probably tease each other to death. I wonder what J- is like now that' he's sixteen or whatever. I heard he got kicked out his school (heh, heh). All these preppies are alike underneath. (Listen to this woman of the world speaking, hah!)

M called and said that JR's party was good. I don't know, I'm sort of afraid to go to one of those parties. I haven't really got any real reason to go, anyway. If you follow. Apparently, since H hasn't called to let me know, I assume that the Canadian expedition is out the window. Oh well, it might have been fun. At least it would have been a change of scene. I really didn't expect it to world out really, I was just hoping it would.

In the Concerto auditions I'm only going to be competing against 7 other people! In a way, that's even more terrifying than being judged against 20 or 30. If I don't make it then I'll really know my place. Oh hell! I'm really nervous about that. Only 8 people all together! AF isn't trying out. That is a relief. Not that I think she's good, but that after 3 yrs in the Wind Orchestra they probably would give it to her. Maybe I'm being unfair. But I don't like the way she's so pushy and greedy about the solos. She thinks she's hot stuff. Sure, she may be good, but she isn't any child prodigy. It turns out that R has a very good tone. And her technique is good too. She must audition even more poorly than I did to be seated behind me. I respect her playing a good deal.

I can hardly wait until I know the dates for NECCO and MYCOE. I would like to get into one or the other of these, preferably the New England Conservatory Chamber Orchestra. They play good music, and the winds often break up into quintets. That would be a gas. (There must be a better expression than that which I can use. "Gas" sounds so... I don't know, out-dated, forced, or something.) Gotta go run a bath ~

We heard the tape of our concert, I was pretty surprised, in a few places we sounded quite professional. But they were few and far between. Another thing was that in most places you could hardly hear the flutes at all, let alone an individual (other than solos that is). A bit depressing, that. You could get everything perfect, and ina majority of places it wouldn't matter at all. Especially in the Hindemith where I struggled to get something right, only to discover it didn't make any difference at all! Oh well. So much for diligence. But I'll continue anyway, with what little practice I do on those pieces anyway.

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Last updated: 11/10/02; 2:26:38 PM.
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