Saturday

I slept until about one, and woke to find everything smothered in snow. Mom went out with Nana for a walk and found out that T has mono, really badly. I called her up right away, and intended to stop over for a visit but never got around to it. She couldn't go on her bus trip, and she hates the dependent feeling that being sick gives you.

I also learned that Nana may be with us for two weeks or more. It'll be OK through Project Week, but once I get back in the school swing... Oh well, we must learn to cope with these things.

GBYSO was cancelled for tomorrow, so I can go cross-countrying! Yay! We're supposed to have even more snow later tomorrow. I've already read Pnin so I don't have to worry about that. The last part was what made the whole book so sad. It turns out that the only way the author really knew anything about Pnin was through the mimics of someone else. It was all very sad, and in a strange way rather disturbing. I wonder in what way Mr. K is going to use it. He called to remind me to bring the book, and a notebook and pencil to the class. I will of course obey everything but the last, which will of course be my trusty scriber, that with which I write where I wish to speak. (ho, ho)

A small problem ~ I neglected to buy (and it would have been so easy to do when I went to see the movie) the Poème. That was not too slick, it means that I will have to do it Monday morning.

~ I've just looked through some of my old stuff and I Ching readings. They have almost all worked out to be true. If only I'd really paid attention to them! I think I'm going to go back to doing that, only I'll do my readings in here, where I can find them for later reference. I also found a quote I made up, which someone said sounded like Bertrand Russell.

"Watching the sun rise is like being the nurse who stands, useless, watching the doctor deliver a baby. It is easy to accept, at that moment, the realization that we are but passing observers of an instant in the universe, affecting none of the greater movements of the cosmic watch."

There are some things in that which I would change now, but the idea is interesting.

Sunday

I tried out my cross countries in the back yard, and that was a gas. I spent alot of the day reading the I Ching [discussion fo the eight trigrams and the Great Treatise]. I am going to consult the oracle now, using the coin method, as the spaghetti stalks are broken and a drag. Someday I will get some real yarrow stalks or a closer approximation thereof.

The Judgment: Let yourself be led for awhile. You are in no position to take the front. This is a the time not of beginnings but of completion and nourishment. You must be yielding and devoted by strong and persevering too. You stay with those who are like you and have friends, you venture out among those who are different and have success.

The Image: You must cultivate inner strength, weight of character and breadth of view to endure and receive the world and not be swayed by it.

Lines ~ Six at the beginning: Don't ignore the beginnings of evil in yourself or your surroundings or you will find they have multiplied and spread *(see Feb 4 for connection)

changing to

The Judgment: Things are going to get bad ~ keep calm and don't undertake any action or movement on your own. Let it blow over.

The Image: Only by being generous and devoted to all can you avoid being hurt by the bad times ahead.

*~ I am going to pay more attention to the answers I get from the I Ching, the other prediction were so successful. Tomorrow is school daze again. I expect my project week program is going to be even heavier than my normal schedule. It's late, I want to make my bed and get to sleep. Gotta remember Pnin, my flute and music, a notebook, and money.

Monday

I made an error in the reading of the hexagram. The changing line should be ~ Six at the top: You are having a great struggle balancing yourself, to stay receptive and strong and not leap forward and take over. The two elements within you are fighting within you and both are hurt as a result of the struggle. The leader in you will conquer eventually, but not without some hurt.

This might suggest that the bad times to come in Po might be an inner struggle rather than an outward one. The whole message of the thing seems to be to temper my urge to be out front for awhile. Evventually I'll regain that, but tempered with an understanding of what it's like to be led. The line reading indicates that it will not be easy. The only way I can resolve this conflict is by remaining passive until it's over, by expanding my energies outwards, on others.

~ I left my pen downstairs, Except for the end it was a pretty good dya. I practiced 3 1/2 hrs with no goofing around and still didn't get everything done. After lunch I walked with M to Carl Fischer where I bought some the Giffes Poème and the Frans Vester Flute Repetoire Catalog and she bought some guitar strings. Then I had Inspired Guessing. the course is infuriating but fun. I wasn't bothered by anything particularly until we got to Pnin. And then Mr. K pointing up all the little mysteries and word puns gave it an angle that I find hard to accept or come to terms with. It sure as hell isn't literary.

I talked with DB on the way to the subway. I could kick myself for the way I'm acting. It's like someone plugged me in to a program circuit that says "challenge." I know M likes him, and I would like them to be happy together, nevertheless I keep testing my hook to see if it was a choice of me or her... you see, it is that kind of despicable behavior I hate in myself.

I forgot to reread Chapter 6 of Pnin. I'll do it in the morning and on my way in on the subway. I also am beginning to hate myself for the way I behave towards my parents and Nana, I have a real snot attitude. I think I'll write a note tonight and slip it under the door. They deserve better treatment then I've been giving them.

As for the practicing, i really got into that. i was afraid I might get too bored or tired, but I really didn't at all. I could have kept going and going. The Inspired Guessing class itself is pretty interesting. I enjoyed listening to WN, who I suspect is alot smarter and alot saner than people tend to give him credit for. The problem that was most interesting in terms of people's reactions to it was "Who is Otto L. May?". I also was surprised that I was the one who figured it out, not to mention pleased. The "bug" problem was interesting because of the false assumptions it led you to make. I'll have to watch out for that. I didn't quite understand the purpose of the "Moses" thing. I think that was to show how people read their observations, but I could be wrong, and probably am. I just hope the whole Pnin thing isn't more of the "clever, conniving" picky-picky puns and problems, after awhile it becomes tedious. I hope it all somehow adds up to say something other than "look-what-a-fool-you-are-to-miss-all-these-little-insignificances." But I have a funny feeling that's what it's all going to turn out to be.

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Last updated: 11/10/02; 2:27:37 PM.
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