Sunday, January 25, 2004

Some people are amazing in their willingness to judge others. Many times they don't see themselves very clearly, yet believe they are empowered with amazing clarity when it comes to measuring others. They wear virtual blinders that enable them to see only what they want to see, and declare everything else as inapplicable to their current view. It's a wonderful luxury to have, one that I acknowledge would be truly paradise. Unfortunately these virtual blinders are just a mask for what is really a true blindness, an inability to measure the big picture. And most importantly, these virtual blinders have no mirrors...no way to see themselves as others see them. It is so powerful to be so sure of one's self, so convinced in one's rightness that everything that challenges that rightness fades away into non-existence. I understand the appeal. I wish my mind would let me lie to it so completely. I keep myself from looking at some parts of myself too closely, too often, because I am either unable or unprepared to deal with my shortcomings. But thank God I do see them. 7:29:52 PM    comment

Saturday, January 10, 2004

My old partner is now unwelcome in the office of the company we started together. He had the vision, drive, and moxie. I executed the vision and made it real. He was a liar, and one of the most unprincipled people I ever knew. I sacrificed some part of myself just to stay, but the company was my baby and I put it ahead of my dislike of him. It cost me, but enabled us to succeed. He was able to sense talent, and convince nearly anyone to come join us. We had some incredible folks working for us. He eventually found me threatening, since I was generally admired for my honestly and abilities, while he was mostly disliked and mistrusted. He was crucial to our success, but it was a bit like sleeping with a demon. Eventually the cost was greater than the benefit. I left as soon as I was sure my company would survive without me. It was a given that if the company ever went public, no board of directors would tolerate him. He had to promise a public company to everyone, and make sure it never happened. You can only burn so many bridges. Eventually you find yourself on an island, alone. Now the company is being acquired by another, and he is out…forced out of the company he started…facing the music. I wish I had more sympathy... 10:41:51 PM    comment

Tuesday, December 09, 2003

Charlie's Big Day Charlie had his big day yesterday. BIG day...he permanently passed on having offspring. He came home cowed and sleepy, but happy. He found the strength to wag his tail a bit when we walked in the door. He wanted to be close to me and sleep. It's odd to see my playful, exuberant Beagle puppy so lethargic, but he's in pain. This was hard. 10:48:07 AM    comment

Saturday, August 16, 2003

The RIAA continues to attack the market it's trying to protect. I've now deliberately chosen not to purchase CDs I would have purchased because I'm angry with the RIAA. I don't even have P2P software loaded on my computers, and I've purchased 1200 LPs and 1500 CDs in my lifetime. They have alienated me in their single-minded attack on personal liberties and fair use of copyrighted materials. I intend to vote with my wallet. I feel sorry for the musicians; the businessmen who are responsible for marketing and distribution of their product have lost touch with reality. 1:57:07 PM    comment

Wednesday, July 23, 2003

Polarized relationships. I'm reflecting on the way we polarize our relationships, without really trying to, most often when we don't want to. I have a tough situation with my ex-wife that is really hard to manage because of the years of frustration we've both experienced with each other. I don't really dislike her, but I see her through a filter that I can't control. And I believe she does exactly the same thing with me. I'd like to wipe that filter clean, and be able to see her today, exactly as she sees herself, to better understand her perspective. It would be so much easier if I could. Oh well... 9:15:16 PM    comment

Wednesday, April 30, 2003

Looking for love. I'm looking for love. Not like a girlfriend, I already have one of those, and she's quite wonderful. No I'm looking for the love for our fellow man...that fancy ideal we all claim to espouse, but can't seem to find on a consistent basis. Why can't the Muslims love each other? Why can't all Muslims love the Christians? Why can't the Christians love all Muslims? Why can't the Muslims love the Jews? Why can't the Jews love the Muslims? Why can't the Buddists love all the others? And so on... Is it really that hard? What makes us radicalize our beliefs to the point of hatred? It's not what God wants. 4:16:30 PM    comment

Thursday, March 20, 2003

War. Well, it's war. While I'm concerned on the one hand that we're going in without direct proof that Iraq has been involved in an attack on United States citizens or property, now that we're into it, I say let's kick some butt. Saddam Hussein is a leader in the Adolf Hitler mold, and is a threat to world peace. I just wonder if this is more about oil than terrorism. I can't shake those nagging suspicions. 4:39:17 PM    comment