Greenspan cuts interest rate

Washington, DC (licentious) -- In a pre-emptive strike to hide the effects of Republican control of the Senate, Federal Reserve Chairman Alan Greenspan immediately cut interest rates.

"Republican control of the Senate will obviously improve our -- their -- ability to destroy the economy," said Greenspan. "It would look unseemly if global markets immediately tanked, so we're stepping in to cloud the immediate situation and provide some PR cover."