Bush campaign contributor defies Iraqi arms embargo

Baghdad, Iraq (licentious) -- In a globe-spanning scandal, licentious radio has turned up documents proving a Bush campaign contributor provided essential technical parts for the newly discovered Iraqi "Doomsday Drone".

Although the drone was documented in papers supplied to the UN arms inspection team, and it's range is less than two miles, Colin Powell declared the drone's existence to be proof that Iraq continues to create and hide illegal weapons systems from inspectors, and that Saddam can't be trusted.

Disguised as UN Arms Inspectors, intrepid licentious radio reporters stormed into a secret military base here, and demanded immediate access to the drone. Our reporters confiscated the plans and financial records. After careful analysis, we discovered that the Iraqis were *hiding* the supplier of one critical part. A second trip to the military base caught the Iraqis by surprise, and we were able to grab the receipts for the part.

According to the mechanic, the drone worked pretty well, except that its wings kept falling off. In order to keep the wings from falling off, he placed an order for duct tape from the Duck Products website. Duck Products' founder, Jack Kahl, is a big-time Republican campaign fund donor.

The receipt we photographed had the Iraqi embassy in Freedom (the state formerly known as France) as the ship-to address, but the bill-to address was Baghdad, and the "extra shipping instructions field" said: "Please trans-ship to xxxxxx at xxxxxx air base, Baghdad." The roll of duct tape was paid for by American Express. The name on the card is "S. Hussein". It also says "Member Since 1979".

Shipping critical military technology to Iraq for usage in a Doomsday Drone is highly illegal, Ari Fleischer confirmed today. Ari did waffle slightly when he heard that the perp is a Bush campaign donor. "Obviously, our financers deserve a little extra leeway. Where would we be if we started jailing or summarily executing the people who helped us steal the elections?"

Back at the secret Baghdad Doomsday Drone Aerodrome, the evil mastermind behind the drone said all they had used it for so far was to fly over the women-only swimming pool for officer's wives. "If we could just attach a camera to it, we'd get some *great* photographs," said Corporal Xxxxxx. "The generals' trophy wives are *hot*."

Although the Doomsday Drone does not appear to have offensive capabilities, Corporal Xxxxxx said that if George W. Bush came within two miles of the base, he would try to crash the drone into Bush's head. When we pointed out "that's his least vulnerable spot", the Corporal didn't get the Casablanca reference, and so we left it at that.