Shocking Re-run of Bad Movie

Washington, DC (licentious) -- In a shocking re-run of a bad movie, George W. Bush has yet again run afoul of mandatory drug testing. To Bush's surprise, a new policy for residents of the White House requires annual drug tests.

The policy was implemented after Bush's drugged-out performance at his news [sic] conference last week. While everyone in attendence was convinced Bush was doped-up, there was some controversy over *which* drug or drugs Bush might have been abusing. Many claim Prozac is the drug of choice for Bushes, though obviously Noel and Jenna have made other choices.

Bush was said to have said, "It's unfair! There wernt no testin' when I got appointed ta this job. They shoulda tol' me back then." Bush hasn't been seen in any government location since the testing policy was adopted.

This is, of course, eerily similar to events when Bush was appointed by political influence to the Texas Air National Guard in order to avoid the draft. After mandatory drug-testing for pilots was initiated, Bush did not complete his military obligation. This is sometimes termed "AWOL", though in fact the accurate term is "deserter" -- Bush never returned to duty.

As in the earlier episode, no one appears to miss Bush, and the country seems safer now that he has run away like a sniveling, drug-addicted coward.