Cross-dressing Bush doll a hit in Baghdad

Baghdad, Iraq (licentious) -- In a ploy to taunt American soldiers, Iraqi resistance fighters have distributed thousands of George W. Bush "action" dolls, dressed in women's clothing. American patrols are met with dozens of children holding Bush dolls in clothes ranging from shamelessly cut bikinis to more tasteful "little black dresses".

The most popular costume seems to be the itty bitty yellow bikini, though the pink halter top with purple mini-skirt and white, lace-up go-go boots also gets raves.

According to Army Pfc. Jerome Skaltenburg, 19, "everywhere I go, all I see is Georgia W. Bush dolls in dresses and bikinis. It might just be the sun, but the mini-skirt and boots Georgia is starting to look pretty good to me. All the Iraqi women are covered up like a Catholic grandmother in mourning."

According to Jerome's buddy, Lance Corporal Michael Douglas, the women's clothing isn't the worst part: "Oh, man! Some of them have real GI Joe dolls, and what they make Joe do to poor Georgia is not a pretty sight. Not at all. I don't know why we're here, and I don't think much of some AWOL rich white kid sending us here and then cutting veterans benefits so he can give his friends big tax cuts, but I would *not* want Bush to have done to him what these kids are making GI Joe do to the cross-dressing Bush dolls."

In signs of an escalating cross-dressing doll race, the US Army Fourth Infantry Division plans to saturation bomb East Baghdad with cross-dressing Shiite mullah dolls. Lt. Colonel Harvey Bush (no relation) today introduced reporters to a new doll ready for release next week -- "Madonna of the Minaret". The bearded "Maddie" comes with an easy-off robe that reveals a transvestite costume straight out of Rocky Horror Picture Show, complete with garters, stockings, teddy, and stilleto heels.

At the press conference, Colonel Bush made the Mullah doll do a strip tease dance while his aid hummed "The Stripper", provoking cat-calls and whistles from the reporters and soldiers present. Bush then said America has the most powerful army in the history of the world, and there is no way they would lose a cross-dressing doll race against some "skanky raghead terrorists from the armpit of the Arab world."

"You got dolls for us? Bring 'em on!" taunted Bush.

However, the outcome of the cross-dressing doll race is by no means certain. Safely in private after the press conference, an Iraqi journalist showed us his George W. Bush mini-skirted cheerleader doll. He turned it upside down and said, "You see? You can never win. Your George W. Bush doll is anatomically correct: it has no genitalia."