Saturday, March 2, 2002

My wife and I chatted last night about what would have been different if we'd not married. We got together in our early 20s - right out of college. My wife likes to point out that if I'd waited, I'd have grown into the geek role nicely just as it became popular. I figure I'd probably be a billionaire. Actually, I'd probably be a former-billionaire, given how things have gone lately. A few of my friends started or got involved with young companies as they were leaving college, and they did pretty freakin' well for themselves. I chose to settle down, took a conservative approach. I figured staying out of debt, investing a little (but not too much!) and building a foundation were the right things to do. In my wife's words, I lack ambition. That's not entirely accurate - I don't want to sell my soul for success, but when something interests me I sink my teeth in. I don't buy into the idea that controlling everything and making tons of money is the end-all be-all of success. If I like what I'm doing, I dig in and tear it up. I learn everything I can, try everything I can think of, and do stupid things just to see what happens. A good example starts with ResEdit. Any long-time Mac user knows ResEdit. In the "good old days" before OS 8, even before System 7, ResEdit allowed all sort of cool things (beyond the legitimate application resources it was intended for). I had a toilet trash can replacement that made flushing noises when emptied. My menu shortcuts were rearranged to my liking. I hand-wrote school papers because Microsoft Word couldn't print until I figured out how to get the dialogs to work again. Same thing with Frontier. Once I warmed up to it, I realized it was AppleScirpt on steroids, plus a lightweight database-backed WebServer, plus about a million other things. I'm far from the expert I'd like to be - I mostly dig into the features I need, rather than exploring the entire application end-to-end - but once I started to see potentiial I started trying things. I gave up the mid-sized company because there was no growth potential and politics outweighed common sense. The second round of layoffs convinced me they were more interested in failing on their own than succeeeding because of someone else's good advice. I wasn't willing to play the "yes" game, so I moved on. I went to a "start-up". An established design company had built and FileMaker database to track their projects. It was pretty good - good enough to convince a couple well-known companies that they wanted a copy. Of course the needs of a multi-billion dollar global corporation differ from those of a 15-person design company. They hired me to fill out their system from a small-time system to a full featured database (still in FileMaker, of course).When it was finished, they showed a few other clients and established more interest. We developed an asset-management system to complement it, and interest seemed high there too. Of course there was a sudden "we could all get rich with this!" realization. This is when I made my big mistake (there's the ambition thing). I have no stake in this company. My success isn't tied to theirs any more than a standard employer-employee relationship. I enjoy what I do and like the people I work with, and that means alot, but my motivation to kill myself for the success of the company is purely internal. I'm not guaranteed any sudden bonus if my extra effort makes a big difference. That was brought to the forefront at the end of our first year. We'd made a sizable profit, had a queue of clients interested in our software, and a solid start on abstracting the system from custom-built to shrinkwrap (or at least minor customization). I got a glowing review acknowledging my contribution, recommending an increased responsibilty - manage development, lead research into new technology. Seemed like things were terrific. Too bad there was a 3% raise, no year-end bones, and decreased company benefits to go with it. Bad sign. I suddenly realized what I'd done is contribute to someone else's retirement. It became clear that my contribution was appreciated - I'd appreciate it if someone busted their ass so I could make more money, too - but it wasn't going to be reciprocated. I hadn't joined a startup, I'd joined a mom-and-pop organization that planned to pocket the profits, lease themselves a nicer car, and take longer vacations now that they had a competent developer to bring in the money. Then it got worse. The technology industry imploded. Jobs dried up, and those that remained had killer competition. I wasn't excited about where I was any more, but the good alternatives weren't there like a few months earlier. Plus, why leave one bad situation for (probably) one just like it? I'm still making decent money, I just know it's a limited opportunity and really don't feel like working harder so someone else can get richer. Then, of course, the work dried up. Well, no point in pushing the issue now. I can bitch all I want about getting a piece of the pie, but the pie is a whole lot smaller than before. Now, not only am I uninspired, but there's nothing to do (for profit, anyway). I'm bored, there's no money, and over the last year I've submitted a variety of technology recommendations that were discarded as "irrelevant at this time". Things like PHP and WebDAV seemed pretty relevant to a company that serves databases on the Web, but not to the decision makers. Now I'm uninspired, bored, and confused. In the last 4 weeks, I found out my immediate superior has built a prototype of a system I proposed. Turns out a client did want it, even though it was "irrelevant at this time" a month earlier. He's reading up on PHP and WebDAV, because they're apparently interesting ways of implementing the new system. Of course my contribution will be to implement his design when it's flushed out better. I must have done something wrong and don't know it. When I ask, things are hunky-dory, but the signs are there. "We appreciate your contribution. We are wealthier because of it. Maybe next year we'll give you another token raise and a $50 bonus. Sure, it could be more, but I'd rather lease an Volvo than a Honda, and we can't have both. Actually, the Honda was okay, but I went so far over on mileage that we can't afford to upgrade your copy of Office just yet. Thanks for buying your own copy of Radio, that makes things easier. "Oh, and why have you started working 8 hour days and taking lunch all of a sudden? That's not like you? We need you to keep working overtime, though we can't pay you. 2:40:50 PM

"Default. The two greatest words in the English language." - Homer J. Simpson 1:35:12 PM

Thursday, February 28, 2002

Another update: It only got worse. After Perry Mason was elected mayor of the parallel universe, he introduced the former president - Elvis. 4:16:11 PM

Update: Never mind, this show has returned to the stupid, viewer-patronizing garbage that turned me off the first time around. First off, Tempus, the bad guy, is watching video of Lois stand on a shaky ledge, and says "The only thing that could ruin this is a commercial". Guess what happened next? Second, he tells H.G. Wells "I'm the bad guy, of course I have a plan". I appreciate speaking to the audience as a theatrical device, but it was poorly executed and, for some reason, insulting to me as a viewer. When Mel Brooks does it, it's funny (not sure why). In this case it just didn't work. 3:59:12 PM

Okay, so this is kinda cool. My TiVo picked up a rerun of Lois & Clark (not something I've ever watched, but that's what I get for watching SciFi/Action), and there were two references that I wish were made by a show I cared about: - The military guy talking to the bad guy is Major Domo. - H.G. Wells needs a flux capacitor to get back to his correct time line. 3:33:54 PM

<rant> Our current President is about as big a corporate whore as possible. He's still pushing the "drill in Alaska" thing because it will, get this, ease our energy problems. First off, what energy problems? We can't possibly retrieve oil from Alaska cheaper than we can buy it from OPEC. It'll create jobs, but not long-term. It won't have a significant impact on the environment, unless you consider detroying thousands of acres of national preserve an impact. What it will do is give the people that own logging and petroleum companies a quick, easy, government-subsidized source of revenue. It will return a favor to the campaign contributers and friends of W. I'm not a tree-hugger by most measures - I drive a gas-guzzling car (21 MPG, which is better than most SUVs, but lower than it could be), leave lights on when I don't really need to, turn on my heat and open windows to get fresh air... I just hate to see resources wasted for no good reason. To me, trashing Alaska to retrieve oil we need to relieve an energy crisis that doesn't exist so that some rich people can make money isn't a good reason. </rant> 2:45:13 PM

So statistically (and 90% of statistics lie), 15% of the population consume 25% of the alcohol. Here's a list of age requirements in the United States: - You can become a contributing member of our capitalist society (meaning a worker) somewhere around 16. - You can drive a car at 16 (I think this varies from state-to-state) - You can vote at 18. - You can marry at 18 (also state determined?). - You can join the Army, with the potential to travel to far-off lands and kill people, at 18. - You can consume alcohol at age 21. - There is no age requirement for parenthood. I realize that if you join the Army, you can drink on base at 18, which acknowledges "You're old enough to kill people, so you're old enough to drink". I also realize that, in general, it's more difficult to control parenthood than drinking. But what this tells me is that we're responsible enough to choose the "leader of the free world", propel 3,000 pounds of steel 65 MPH taking our wife and kids to work and school, and shoot things, but we can't handle a beer. Something doesn't seem right. What surprises me is that our President is a huge corporate whore (see my rant), but he hasn't taken the obvious step: legalize drinking somewhere around age 16. Think A/B would appreciate that? Damn right. 15% of their sales are going to illegal buyers. Imaging what they'd get if it was legal! 2:25:10 PM

Here's an interesting statistic: teenagers account for 25% of the alcohol consumed in the US. Source According to the Nov 2000 Census Data, there are about 39.8 million people between 10 and 20 years old. That's about 15% of the population. In other words, 25% of the alcohol is consumed by 15% of the population. 2:12:44 PM

Okay, I've finally found a use for blogging besides purging the stupid thoughts I have all day. I've created a Humor category, to which I'll post the stupid jokes I receive in my email box. At last, and archive of jokes I've heard 30 times before! 10:59:25 AM

Okay, now that's depressing. I chose the name Blah Blah Blog because I felt it reflected what I had to say - nothing of consequence. Now I find I'm not even original in that thinking. Wired has published an article by nearly the same name: "Blah Blah Blah and Blog". Of course the controlling theme of the article is that most blogs suck, and frankly they do (I include myself in that list). The article quotes John Dvorak as saying 'They were "wannabe writers" who were looking for "ego gratification"'. Well no shit. I'm not a wannabe writer, and I get more ego gratification from real masturbation than from creative masturbation, but I'm just here to vent. It's an outlet for thoughts that aren't important enough to anyone that I'd bother sitting down and talking about them. I don't care if anyone reads this, I probably won't read it myself unless I'm on some drunken trip down memory lane. The point is there are plenty of people writing decent, informative blogs. I'm not one of them, and probably won't be. Sure, I might say something interesting once in a while, but it probably won't be interesting to anyone else, and two days later I won't remember why it was interesting to me in the first place. My participation, however typical, doesn't reflect the contribution many blogs do make. 10:51:10 AM

Sunday, February 24, 2002

Come to think of it, and we're way off the topic of home brewing at this point, but this really identifies the meaning of "the devil is in the details". Here's an interesting thing: I have an old BMW 318, and my brother-in-law has a Dodge Neon. If you read the piece of paper the dealer taped to the window at the dealership, you'll find little difference between the cars. I have a 137 HP 1.8L 4-cylinder engine, the Neon has a 150HP 2.0L. Power windows, brakes, steering, yup. A/C, etc. included. The feautre list is identical. So what makes the Bimmer worth, give or take, twice as much? I've raced both, and frankly once you learn how to drive each, they're very competitive. Depending on the track, the Neon is actually superior. With the Dodge, you're getting equivalent "features", and equivalent or better track performance. What's the difference? The answer is quality. In the Dodge, you feel like you're driving a cheap, disposable piece of metal. The BMW feels like it was built to be driven. It doesn't squeak or rattle. There's a perceivable different when you use it. Most everything is like that. I've used software, computers, home appliances, that were cheaper. And they felt it. There are plenty of over-priced brands out there, adding cost purely for the name on the receipt, but there's also truth to the "you get what you pay for" cliche. 3:20:24 PM

The funny thing about beer is it's all the same ingredients (for the most part). Malt barley, boil it for a while, add some hops, and add some yeast. In a [very] superficial sense, there's no difference between what goes into Budweiser and what goes into Guiness. That, of course, is like saying there's no difference between a Dodge and a BMW. At the base level, the design is pretty much the same. It's the details, and how the parts are used that makes the big difference. 3:06:00 PM

I've been home brewing for a few months now, and it seems like logging it would be a good thing. I've been brewing from kits, and have found a basic "this is beer I want to drink", but now it needs tweaking. I'm a fan of beer. It's tough to define "beer" for me - I like a wide range of brews. I'm a huge fan of Guiness, but my regular is a local micro-brew from Ipswitch. It's a golden ale, a little on the sweet side. It's in stark contrast to Guiness. So the target brew starts from True Brew Amber. It's on the hoppy side, close to Sam Adams, but with less character. It's not a bad beer, but it needs something - I'm just not sure what yet. 3:01:14 PM

Saturday, February 23, 2002

"Beer is proof that God Loves us and wants us to be happy." -Benjamin Frankin 9:04:32 PM

Monday, February 18, 2002

So now that the race is past, it seems Nascar has moved on. I expected a long tribute, reflecting on his victory and his death. Honestly, I'm glad they let it go. I don't think the fans wanted to be reminded - it was enough to watch the first race in 20 years without him. I think it's time for me to move on too. 9:45:50 AM

Sunday, February 17, 2002

I've found myself thinking about Dale Earnhardt alot lately. That's natural, considering the Daytona 500 is this afternoon and he was killed in a crash the last time I watched that race. I was at the 1998 race, when Earnhardt won. I gave away my tickets last year because I was strapped for cash. I'm still not sure whether I'm glad I wasn't there. Watching Earnhardt win in '98 was amazing. I watched a rerun of the race yesterday, the first time I'd seen even highlights since the actual race. The emotion doesn't translate on TV. At the track, the sound of the crowd drowned out 43 unmuffled stock cars. Everyone was standing on their seats, cheering as if it were them in the car. The pit crews ignored their own drivers, instead lining up to shake hands with the man that wanted that race more than anything. The shame is I didn't even know what happened until midnight. We were watching the race on TiVo, and skipped through the victory lap to catch up to the interview with Michael Waltrip and Dale Jr. At that point, I don't think they knew either, but it was clear something was very wrong when Dale wasn't in the winner's circle with them. I remember how Dale responded the first time his kid won a Cup race. He was more excited than Dale Jr., running in and hugging him like the prowdest father on Earth. For a few minutes, his own sponsorship took a back seat as he pitched the Budweiser team. I suspect nobody at Goodwrench cared. Here was possibly the greatest stock car driver ever watching his son walk in his shoes. Dale Jr. finished second, and his other employee Michael Waltrip won. At the time neither knew how serious the situation behind them had been. It was Waltrip's first win, assisted by a man who had confidence in him when few others thought he was even competitve. A man who ultimately gave his life to prevent anyone from taking that opportunity away from him. Earnhadt was always a tought competitor. He didn't get the name Intimidator by sitting quietly behind other cars. His trademark pass was to position himself to take the air off the spoiler in front of him and slip under the other car as it drifted up the track. He wasn't afraid to use his fenders to make room when he needed it. Yet that day he sat behind his two drivers, knowing he had a legitimate chance to pass for the win, and ran interference. At the same time it was completely unlike Earnhardt, and exactly what he would do. This was a man that would do almost anything to gain one more position, one more victory, yet he also took as much pleasure in watching those he loved succeed, and that day he chose to leave the honor to someone else. I could only hope to live as he did. I'm sure he had his dark secrets - everyone does. He on-track persona was decidedly fierce - more than a few drivers lost because Earnhardt bumped them aside. But off-track very few people questioned his generosity, his kindness, his honesty, or his loyalty. He died doing what he loved and watching, even helping, the people he loved realize their dreams. He left a legacy that may never be equalled. He was the embodiment of the American dream. 11:43:15 AM