A Picture

For the last few weeks there has been a lot of tension in my mind and body about the state of the world.  I've stared in bewilderment as things have taken place and wondered what happened.  When I was little and even to this day I held on to an image of the world as I expected it to be when I was ready to make my mark.  The picture was that of the early 1900's.  In the picture the possibilities for success are limited only by what I have to offer.  Men are men; by this I mean that they understand that success in their lives depends on success in their business affairs.  Women are also there.  They hold the same postition as men when they put forth the effort.  When I use Men like this I mean all men, whether they be white, black or chinese, as well as women; men as a species.  In the picture money is respected and the most admired men are those who have achieved enough success in their life to amass enough for them to live comfortably and enjoy their free time.  The least admired men are those who demand a free ride on the coat-tails of those who have earned their keep.  It's a clean picture where suffering is relegated to the sidelines as a minor detail.  People are happy because they control their destiny and it shows.  In the streets there's a feeling of optimism and general lightheartedness.  If tragedy did happen to strike it was met with a determination to help those injured or affected out of respect and the idea that to do so would be an injustice.  This is the world I envisioned as a child and that I still hold in my mind.

The world I have grown up in is not this world.  In today's world I'm out of place.  Businessmen are now loathed as the most vile of creatures because they are successful, the more success they achieve the worse their fate with man.  The man who looks for a free ride has been elevated to that of a saint who's sores and needs are a sewer that all of our energy is drained into.  The world is full of programs that drain the money from those who've earned it in order to distribute it to those who haven't and never intended to.  The prize goes to not the most accomplished but the one who's attempted to accomplish the least.  I work not just to support myself; but the starving loaf down the street who refuses to work because he feels he's been slighted, the minority across town who scream they never had a chance in this stacked deck, the government buerocrat who openly admits to his desire to destroy my means of support, and all the incompetents along the way who stick their hands out and snarl that I owe them by virtue of my being able to pay.  The mood is not one of optimism but sarcastic pesimism.  Tragedy is taken as the rule of the day and all our effort goes in to preventing disasters that we continue to create for ourselves.  Now the only recognized injustice is that those who are able to satisfy their needs do while the rest of humanity begs for a chance.

I am not sure how to go about this world as it stands.  In my clean, rational world there is a way to fight this kind of behavior, and that's a moral code.  In the world I live the very of idea of such a code is a joke to those who need it most.  I am lost for words.  The only situation I cannot take is one where there is no action possible to me.  This is how I feel.  I will get over it, and I will discover the action required to turn this world into the world we have betrayed in the name of equality.

Last update: 4/6/2003; 1:06:48 PM.