It's been a really rough couple of days - but I'm hanging in there. For the first two days, I was pretty much a sobbing machine. But I'm doing better - I'm not breaking down every ten minutes. I do o.k. - unless someone asks how I'm doing. Then I start crying all over again. I've cried so much that my left eye is all plugged up and swollen. It looks like I have some sort of disease.
The condolences I received were just wonderful. They really helped.
In addition to the sheer emotional pain, which was of course expected, I've been stunned by the void. Clemmie's death has left a huge physical and emotional void. The house is so quiet. I never realized how much noise a dog makes - even when they're sleeping. The house is just completely still and empty. The lack of sound, of dog sounds, has hit all of us incredibly hard. Peter, Seth, and I are floored by it. What a true void.
The emotional part is huge - Clem and I were a pair - and I knew that. But I didn't realize how integrated we really were. Last night, as I was laying in bed, I realized something. I now get why she always waited at the door for me to come home. She was waiting for her partner - she didn't know when (or if, for sure) I was coming home. So she was there waiting. I know now, that I'd wait a very long time for Clem to come back. To come home.
5:01:08 PM 
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