Friday, March 12, 2004

monday was a very very very bad day. i had my second medicine test, endocrinology. i was pretty scared since i failed the first medicine test so needed to do well on this one. after the test was over i felt awful. i was pretty sure i failed this one too. i had class right after but after trying to sit still and pay attention i had to leave the room because i was too upset. i was really thinking that i failed both tests and therefore couldn't possibly pass the class and didn't know what to do if i got kicked out. (remember one D you have to repeat the semester, more than one D or one F and you're kicked out altogether). i called robreed while i was skipping class to tell him i was going to kill myself. i wasn't going to live if i failed out. he was trying to talk me thru everything and saying to go see the professor as soon as possible. I didn't want to go see Dr. Harkin because he seems pretty scary and I didn't want to feel worse about failing the test. I didn't want him to call me a stupid idiot or even better tell me I was fucked and needed to look to God for the answers as my Physics II professor told me my second semester of undergrad when I was failing the class going into the final; I got an A on the final. Thanks God, good time to step up! (That's a joke, so's God) Anyway I emailed Dr. Harkin telling him I failed the first test and don't think I did well on the second so I wanted to meet with him ASAP so I could figure out what I'm doing wrong and also to get on with life since my next test is in a few days. We met latter that afternoon and went over my first test. Then he handed me my second test already grades. I was completely shocked and couldn't believe he had graded it for me. Turns out I got a B on it. Guess I would have felt pretty stupid, if you can feel stupid when you're dead, if I killed myself for thinking I failed when I actually got a B. So I felt so much better after that and now don't think Dr. Harkin is so scary. Before meeting Dr. Harkin I have 2 hours to kill so I went to the gym with Rebecca. So many people from my class were there. You'd think we'd want to go sleep somewhere or relax. That workout really kicked my ass. When I got home that night I was exhausted. I feel asleep for about 20 min but Rebecca called and woke me up and I never could fall back to sleep. I just sat in bed the rest of the night watching TV.

I was to take a test also on Tuesday in Virology since I was going to Symposium on Thursday and the official test date was today, Friday. There was no way I'd be ready for that test. I was exhausted from studying for the medicine test, I just couldn't do it. I didn't go to Symposium, which was at the U of Tennessee. Too bad! Instead on Tuesday evening Cleo decided to get into Cooper's food bag while I was upstairs and completely engorge herself. Her abdomen was huge and rock hard. She seemed quite depressed lying on the chair staring at the wall. I was pretty worried. My roommate came home and I told her what happened and asked her opinion of what I should do. We decided to make her vomit. It's something I never thought I'd do. Jonathan used to do it with his dogs and I think once with Cleo too and I thought it was awful, making them drink a little hydrogen peroxide so they'd vomit up the food. Cleo seemed to be having a bit of trouble with her breathing so I wanted to relieve some of the pressure. We gave her the hydrogen peroxide, about 2 tablespoons and it took about 20 min and then she only threw up a little bit. I stayed with her all night making sure she was okay and didn't get much studying done, though I saw the new Real World episode.

Wednesday night while I was in the kitchen making dinner Cleo decided to now start throwing up, 24 hours later, first on the ottoman. I made her go outside while I cleaned it up and she stayed out there quite awhile throwing up several times. I felt really bad for her but I'm sure she felt much better. After that was all over she came up to my room and we laid on the bed together while she was a bit shaky. Finally when she seemed to be almost back to normal I had to get to the library. I went for a few hours trying to learn some virology.

Yesterday I went to class all morning, came home at lunch, walked the dogs around the park and then skipped Radiology lab to watch the Big East Tourney. SU was playing BC. SU was up the whole game by about 10 but sometime in the second half things went bad. I feel asleep for a little bit and when I woke there were about 4 minutes left and SU only up by about 4. BC ended up tying the game and then getting ahead by 3 in the last minute. Syracuse just couldn't get in another score. They lost by 3. Oh well. Hopefully they still make the NCAA Tourney and can just rest and practice until then like last year. BC just lost tonite to Pitt. After the game yesterday I went to the library for a couple hours and then home just to feed the dogs and eat quickly and then got to the library again about 6:15pm and stayed until about 1:15am. Couldn't fall asleep until about 2:30am and got up before 6am to get to school early to study a bit more. I coudn't keep any of these viruses straight. We could start the exam between 7 and 8 but I spent the time studying and didn't go in until maybe 7:45am. The test was pretty hard for me and I couldn't finish by 9am and since we had class at 9am the virology professors were nice and took those that weren't done to another room to give us some more time. So I missed half of Sys Pathology and then couldn't pay attention during necropsy and fell asleep during 2X2's. Oops! Rebecca and I went to Pizza Hut for lunch. I've been PMSing for at least a week and eating crappy food is one way I try to get the blood to come out. I have really bad PMS. I'm awful to be around, I hate everyone and everything, I'm depressed and suicidal, feel completely fat and bloated and spend lots of time on the toilet. Sounds like fun huh? After lunch we had virology lecture and then I went home to try and nap. First I talked to Randy for awhile and then I did fall asleep for a couple hours I think but then the dogs made me get up to feed them. Since, I've just been watching TV and doing this for over an hour now. I watched that new show 'Playing It Staight' I think that's the name where the girl thinks she's on a show to meet a guy and turns out there are straight guys and gay guys. In the end if she picks a straight guy she gets love and splits a million dollars, if she picks a gay guy she gets no love and no money, he gets the million. All the guys are above average looking I think, though I'm not attracted to all of them for certain reasons, one was wearing a tank top, some wear jewelry and they all wear cowboy hats though I hope that's just a theme of the show since they're on a ranch. She didn't find out right away what the twist was and the guys didn't know the twist either but they did find out a day before her. So now the guys are also trying to find out who's gay. After she found out the twist she had to decide on two guys to eliminate. Turns out she got rid of 2 guys that were really straight. Now there's 12 guys left and 2 less straight ones so her chances of winning are quickly dwindling. So if you're straight then it should be easy, just act yourself. There's no winning for you if she thinks you're gay, she'll just get rid of you/not pick you in the end. If you're gay then you need to act straight so she doesn't get rid of you. I guess it'll come down to how well the gay guys can act straight and how well the straight guys can act straight. Too bad for the metrosexuals. It must suck to be one of the two guys eliminated that were told 'I think you're gay' on national TV and then have to say 'No, I'm really straight.' Oops, maybe you should rethink things.

8:30:19 PM  

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