Two thousand three, A-to-Z

12-21-03

by Edward Cone
News & Record

Twenty six letters for 52 weeks

To remember the headlines and give a few peeks

At the year just gone by (though it feels just begun)

Two thousand three A-to-Z should be lots of fun.

A is for Arnold, who got the Golden State hoping

That his talent goes past Terminating and groping.

B is for baseball: a downtown field on the way

The best part about it: Joe Bryan will posthumously pay.

C is for Coliseum, where Generals hockey thrills the gallery

Surprise! Greensboro taxpayers are paying their salary.

D is for Dean, the Democrats' early pace-setter

When it comes to the Internet, Howard knows better.

E is for John Edwards, who wants to be president

But may instead end up a full-time Raleigh resident.

F is for FedEx, now certain to make us

A number one freight hub; hope the jet noise don't wake us.

G is for the Guilford Genomics project -- research open-ended

Lots of federal dollars now will come here to be spended.

H is for hoops, as played in the Dean Dome

So long Matt Doherty, Roy Williams is home.

I is for Iraq, where the conquest went quickly

But ongoing bombings make peace look a bit sickly.

J is for Michael Jackson, post-op and post-talent

Whose conduct with boys was alleged less than gallant.

K is for Michael King, a fallen star who once shone

May his good works be remembered now that he's gone.

Lord of the Rings -- the third movie's now showing

Good conquers evil, and the reviews have been glowing.

Mayor Holliday is still mayor today

He won by way more than Reuben beat Clay.

New schools focused on football joined the ACC list

Too bad for old rivalries that will surely be missed.

Osama, where art thou, you villainous cur?

Justice may be delayed, but it will still be sure.

Plame is the name of the exposed American spy

Bush said he'd find out what happened; I guess that was a lie.

Queer Eye for the Straight Guy made slobs look just swell

They haven't been to my house yet, as one look could tell.

Rush Limbaugh dissed black quarterbacks and abused his medication

Boring guest hosts filled his slot during rehabilitation.

Saddam Hussein, like a fox run to ground

Was finally cornered and in a hole found.

T is for textiles, which once here were made

Now bankruptcy lawyers are the ones getting paid.

Urban renewal hit downtown: grants, condos, a park

Nightclubs and other good things to do after dark.

V is for voltage, denied to households by ice

Underground power lines sure would have been nice.

Weapons that cause mass destruction were thick on the ground

In Iraq, we were told, but none have been found.

X is for X-rated language, now allowed on your TV

Bono dropped an F-bomb; fine, said the FCC.

Yow and Hayes are local pols; she's left, he's to the right

Both should figure out that life is more than black and white.

Zero, zilch, nada -- no more space left to me here

May your holidays be merry, I'll see you all next year.

Edward Cone (www.edcone.com, efcone@mindspring.com) writes a column for the News & Record most Sundays.