MOVIE - TRIPLE XXX - Review Rating $$$$$ (OUT OF 10)
STARRING - VAN DIESEL, SAMUEL L. JACKSON, MARTON CSOKAS & EVE.
It was a hot and steamy night. My apartment fan, spinning furiously, was unable to lift the oppressive air clinging to my sweaty clothes. My thought processes, clouded by over exposure to the blistering sun, led me to seek refuge in the dark, air-conditioned confines of the local cineplex. My choices were few. I bought a ticket to Triple XXX.
Sounds like the start to a bad novel, like the one's Snoopy used to write, atop the old doghouse. Triple XXX is an equally bad and unoriginal movie.
Sony Pictures, in an attempt to create a James Bond franchise for the 21st century, snatched up Van Diesel after his surprising success in the "B" movie "The Fast and the Furious". They created an anarchistic Extreme Sports hero, added heavy metal music and borrowed heavily from every other action film ever made. Indeed, the plot, anarchists want to start a world war, was taken almost verbatim from the reworked premise of "The Sum of All Fears". It actually works better, here, because we aren't taking the movie seriously to begin with.
A movie, without an original thought in it, has a tough time being entertaining. Sure, there are a few chuckles and neat stunts, but very little in the required "why should I care whether Triple XXX survives or not"? Van Diesel's performance is flat, for the most part, and there's no signature "Hasta La Vista, Baby" edge to Triple XXX.
The history of Hollywood heroes is a history of the times in which they are created. They range from the rogue cop dispensing justice (Dirty Harry) to the good cop seeking justice (Serpico, The Untouchables). From John Wayne, in almost any of his movies, to Clint Eastwood in "Unforgiven". Prior to September 11th, Triple XXX might have seemed, to studio executives, like a hero for our times. Events have conspired to render Triple XXX passé and tired before he lands his first parachute jump.
There is already a sequel planned. I would have to have sun stroke before I went to see it.
Alternative Reviews:
http://www.rollingstone.com/mv_reviews/review.asp?mid=2044266
http://www.suntimes.com/output/ebert1/wkp-news-xxx09f.html
http://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/XXX-1112845/
Official Website:
http://www.sonypictures.com/movies/triplex/
MY TOP 10 MOVIES OF 2002 LIST
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2003
David Schwartz.
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