MOVIE - GIGLI - Review Rating $$$ (OUT OF 10)
A WORST MOVIES OF 2003 SELECTION
STARRING -Ben Affleck (Larry Gigli), Jennifer Lopez (Ricki/Rachel), Justin Bartha (Brian), Christopher Walken (Det. Jacobellis), Lenny Venito (Louis), Lainie Kazan (Mrs. Gigli) & Al Pacino (Starkman).
DIRECTOR - Martin Brest (Beverly Hills Cop, Scent of a Woman, Meet Joe Black, Midnight Run)
Gigli makes you wonder how a story as bad as this one got the green light in the first place. The conversation must have went something like this:
Bob (Producer): Hey Joe (studio executive), got a few ideas for upcoming films, including a romantic comedy called Gigli.
Joe: Gigli...what's that a sexual position from the Karma Sutra?
Bob: Ha Ha...It's the name of the main character...part of the joke...he's real sensitive about how people pronounce his name.
Joe: Tell me more...
Bob: Well, remember Rainman, where Tom Cruise has to care for his mentally challenged savant brother, Dustin Hoffman?
Joe: Great movie but it's been done...next.
Bob: Wait...I've got a twist...
Joe: A twist?...okay...shoot.
Bob: Instead of the Cruise and Hoffman characters being related the Hoffman character will be the son of a D.A. prosecuting a mob boss...
Joe: I don't get it...how will that work?
Bob: Well, this time the Cruise character will be a bungling mob henchman who kidnaps the Hoffman character to put pressure on the D.A.
Joe: I thought this was supposed to be a comedy!!
Bob: It is...don't you see...a mob henchman baby-sitting a mentally challenged prisoner...man...this has funny written all over it...
Joe: Next...
Bob: Wait...Affleck has signed on already...
Joe: Affleck, hmmm...box office drawing power...you got my attention, go on.
Bob: It gets even better, I already got Jennifer Lopez interested too.
Joe: Wow...Lopez...can she act?
Bob: Who cares...think of the prerelease publicity...
Joe: Yeah, a marketing department dream...this will make me look good with the boss's. By the way, what's her character do?
Bob: She'a a lesbian mob enforcer who helps Affleck kidnap the D.A.'s brother.
Joe: A lesbian mob enforcer?
Bob: See, I told you this had funny written all over it, didn't I?
Joe: A lesbian mob enforcer?
Bob: Well, actually bi-sexual...lots of sexual tension between her and Affleck...in the end they get it on...
Joe: Ahh...a love interest with a twist...every blockbuster needs one...I like it...who else you got signed up?
Bob: Pacino and Walken are on board for cameo's as the mob boss and a detective...
Joe: Wow...those two plus Affleck and Lopez...I'll get a promotion...when can I read the script?
Bob: I only got a rough draft...a few details to iron out...but with this cast we can't lose.
Joe: Yeah, I know how to sell this to the boys upstairs already....green lighted...What else you got?
This is what must have happened because if the script had actually been read prior to the green lighting of this movie it may never have been made.
Gigli is another of those movies that gives absolutely no consideration to getting the details right. First, it's unlikely that the D.A.'s brother, who is only mildly mentally challenged, would even be institutionalized and it's even more unlikely that a complete stranger could walk into an institution and walk out with a patient. Gigli's shameless exploitation of mental illness is inexcusable. Retard jokes and attempted suicide aren't funny, period.
Secondly, the kidnapping of a D.A.'s brother would produce a manhunt of unparalleled proportion. The only cop we see, however, is a Detective (Walken) whose apparent purpose is to try and explain away why there isn't a manhunt going on after all. Gee, I guess this explains why our kidnappers (Affleck & Lopez) are able to drive around town, with their prisoner, in a convertible. Gigli insults the intelligence of it's audience at every opportunity.
If your considering renting Gigli to see Affleck and Lopez fall in love...forget about it. If their real love life is as uninspiring as their on-screen chemistry this will be another doomed Hollywood marriage.
The only thing that kept me from walking out was the performance of Lopez. She can actually act and made the most of a horrible script. Bartha also did a decent job of playing a mentally challenged individual though Dustin Hoffman he's not. These decent performances are not enough to save the film.
The only award Gigli has a chance of winning is Worst Film of 2003.
Running time - 124 minutes
Check out my TOP 10 MOVIES OF 2003 list.
Alternative Reviews:
Roger Ebert's Review
Peter Travers / Rolling Stone Review
Rotten Tomatoes Reviews
Gigli Official Website
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2005
David Schwartz.
Last update:
2/28/05; 1:47:39 AM.
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