Eric Chrisman's Radio Weblog

Review of Rygar: The Legendary Adventure for PS2

Tue, 17 Dec 2002 04:37:47 GMT

      Publisher: Tecmo
        Developer: Tecmo
        Genre: Action
        # Of Players: 1

    The arcade classic comes back to console in all its shield-throwing glory. One of the more unusual choices for a classic remake, probably because very few people remember this game. It was a Greek-themed adventure game starring a warrior who had a spiked shield attached to a whip that he could use against his enemies, and it was way back in the days of the NES. Now, evil wannabe gods called the Titans have suddenly started wreaking havoc in the kingdom of Argus, and they’ve captured the princess as well (gee, never heard that one before). So now you, as the legendary warrior Rygar must of course defeat the Titans, rescue the princess and save Argus. Featuring quite a few new things over the original, Rygar is a solid adventure that should please fans of the original and fans of action in general as well.

Graphics:
Rygar has gone into a top down perspective, 3d game, and it works fairly well. The levels and impressive boss battles are all handled fairly smoothly and really look like they are out of some ancient Greek myth. But unfortunately, the normal enemies (as well as some of the bosses) while somewhat cool in design have extremely limited movement in their animation, and the levels are kind of poorly colored.

Sound:
The music has a great epic feel to it that fits very well with the game. The voice acting is absolutely atrocious, which makes you want to skip the otherwise cool cut scenes. Effects are solid but not dead on. A good example is when enemies make a rumbling sound before they appear, but a single worm thing makes as much sound as 5 worm things or a big Cyclops.

Gameplay:
The gameplay is really based off the idea that it’s really fun to bash the hell out of everything in sight, and not make it too complicated to do so. With this in mind, while you can get a few different types of diskarmors (your primary weapon), they all really only function one way. The levels are extremely forced and linear, allowing for no difference in approach or exploration. The controls respond pretty well, but my biggest complaint is that when you attack you have to just stand still, which means you’ll take a beating whenever you are facing a boss or a group of enemies because there is no efficient way to dodge and the shield block seems extremely inconsistent about what it’ll block.

Features:
Some videos of new & upcoming games, but not really much other than that.

Funfactor:
Despite my complaints (hey, I’m a critic, it’s what I do), this is a very solid and fun action game with a unique look and a genuine challenge. In all honesty, though, this game’s biggest disadvantage is that it is taking on action games such as Two Towers and Mark of Kri (both of which are quite frankly, measurably better), and current competition is definitely a factor. But if you are a hardcore action fan, you’ll probably be able to fit this in as well.

--Final Scores—

Graphics: 8.0-Impressive looking levels & cut scenes, but poor color and limited enemy animation.

Sound: 7.0-Impressive music, but voice is pathetic and effects are kind of lacking.

Gameplay: 6.5-Controls well, but you have to stand still while fighting, levels are claustrophobic, and blocking is inconsistent.

Features: 6.0-Couple of videos for upcoming games, but that’s about it.

Funfactor: 7.5-Again, a good solid action title that’s certainly worth checking out.

Review of Marvel vs. Capcom 2 for PS2

Tue, 17 Dec 2002 04:32:33 GMT

        Publisher: Capcom
        Developer: Capcom
        Genre: Fighting
        # Of Players: 1-2

    What’s this? A 2d fighting game? I thought those were extinct? In all seriousness, as we get more and more advanced, we are seeing less and less 2d games in general, but 2d fighters have seemed to be hanging on by a thread thanks mainly to Capcom and their various series of fighters. This has been one of my favorite fighting series of the last 5 years or so, because it’s one of the few games that not only really does licensed characters justice, but brings together the interesting concept of having comic book characters take on video game characters. As with most Capcom fighters, this features wild combos and a solid fighting system, but the game itself is rather dated (I believe it actually came out for Dreamcast when it was still a viable system). However, it still is a solid choice for gamers looking for a good 2d fighter, which is becoming harder and harder to come by as time goes on.

Graphics:
Yeah, these are fast moving 2d sprites. But man this game is showing it’s age with the dated color and animation, it could probably be done on PS one with a lot of effort, and it has been done quite easily on the Dreamcast.

Sound:
The sound all around is pretty bad. The hits are lacking punch, the voices are two or three canned phrases, and the music is some of the most horrific crap I’ve heard in quite some time. You’ll do much better just to put on some CDs.

Gameplay:
It’s classic Capcom fighting, which means 30 billion hit combos, flashy effects, and to add some dimension, you have two partners which you can tag in or have assist you by attacks or even some healing. However, it may not appeal to some due to its button-mashing tendencies and ridiculous combos compared to the realism & deep fighting engines of games like Virtua Fighter 4. And all there really is to the game is the fighting; there aren’t any unique modes or mini games.

Features:
Well, you can somewhat customize your speed, and of course you can play one-on-one, but that’s about it (why not online?).

Funfactor:
This may be one of the last 2d fighting games, so fans of it would do best to get their hands on it, as it is a Capcom fighting game and as in most Capcom fighting games the characters are outrageous and flashy with plenty of good balance and provide plenty of fun, fast, and furious action for this style of game.

--Final Scores—

Graphics: 5.0-Could & has been easily done on Dreamcast.

Sound: 3.0-Absolutlely god-awful music, canned voices, and poor effects.

Gameplay: 8.5-Great combo system with good variety of balanced characters.

Features: 6.0-A couple of minimal extras.

Funfactor: 7.0-Not for fans of games like DOA3 or VF4, but this really does capture the spirit of great classic 2d fighters.

Review of Legends of Wrestling II for Xbox

Tue, 17 Dec 2002 04:29:28 GMT

    Publisher: Acclaim
    Developer: Acclaim
    Genre: Wrestling
    # Of Players: 1-4

    Oh god no, they brought it back. Legends of Wrestling was one of the worst games I played last year, and yet somehow it must’ve sold enough for Acclaim to actually punish us with a sequel. For those not familiar, the setup is roughly the same as any other wrestling game, but you wrestle with so-called legends. Oh sure, there are some definite legends like Hulk Hogan & Terry Funk, but there are also guys like Koko B. Ware, who just because they had a couple good years in the 80s doesn’t even come close to relegating them to Legends status. Anyways, this sequel features more match types, a much-expanded create-a-wrestler, and an expanded career mode, which makes it a huge improvement over the original, but it’s most glaring flaws keep it from being anything more than a merely decent wrestling title.

Graphics:
While they do animate better, the wrestlers are still based on these extremely ugly polygonal models that don’t really bear a whole lot of resemblance to the wrestlers they are supposed to portray. The arenas all look the same (and they all look pitiful, just like a indy arena); the crowd looks god-awful as well.

Sound:
The music is bad remixes of many of the classic themes the “legends” are known for. The effects in ring are pretty much on even with most wrestling titles, not bad, but not all that great either. There is no color commentary, but that’s a huge plus in my opinion considering how horribly it’s been done in games (Smackdown 4 being the most recent example).

Gameplay:
Surprisingly, this game features one of the better counter systems I’ve seen in a wrestling game, with a nifty little meter that pops up when you can counter move, but you still have to do the counter really fast which makes for a nice balance in gameplay (although even on the easiest levels the computer counters way too much). There are a much wider variety of maneuvers, but the collision detection is still sketchy. The career mode is an interesting concept; as you wrestle in different regions and your progress
depends on how well you perform in matches and how you get the crowd excited.  So even if you lose a big match, if you make the crowd excited it can still be beneficial (much like Mick Foley, he lost most of his big matches). But the career is strictly limited to matches. There isn’t really any storyline development, however, and you can’t go backstage and make alliances or anything like that.

Features:
The create-a-wrestler is vastly improved, and you can unlock all sorts of stuff for it. There are also highlight videos you can unlock, and cool actual interviews with many of the wrestlers featured in the game. Lots of match variations (although not as many as Smackdown) to keep you busy. And even a couple of upcoming game videos just for the heck of it.

Funfactor:
Let’s face facts, wrestling games have been decent at best in this new generation of consoles, and this is a decent wrestling game, so it’s really as valid a choice as Smackdown or most other wrestling games. But it’s still facing that huge hurdle of the fact that again most of the so-called legends really, really sucked even back in their heyday, and nobody cares about many of them any more. I’ve been a fan of wrestling for many years (about 17 now), and the best thing this game does for me is remind at a time when wrestling is going downhill in quality lately is that there was a time when it was much worse with horribly cheesy characters and horrible wrestlers that couldn’t measure up to the guys of today with a few rare exceptions.

--Final Scores—

Graphics: 4.0-Better animation, but models still ugly as sin and crowds and arenas are poorly done.

Sound: 5.0-Bad remixes of original theme music, but decent effects.

Gameplay: 6.0-Good counter system, but collision detection still needs plenty of work and career mode is interesting, but really limited.

Features: 10-Loaded with interviews, videos, match options, etc.

Funfactor: 6.5-Hardly a legend, more of a midcarder.

Review of 007: Nightfire for Xbox

Tue, 17 Dec 2002 04:24:01 GMT

      Publisher: Electronic Arts
        Developer: Electronic Arts
        Genre: FPS
        # Of Players: 1-4

    The world’s smoothest super spy is back in action on consoles in Nightfire. Why this isn’t based at all on the latest Bond flick, “Die Another Day”, I have no idea. But an original adventure isn’t necessarily a bad thing. But just like all the other James Bond movies and games, you go globetrotting in order to stop an evil mastermind (and you’ll of course have time for some hot Bond babes as well). Now in all honesty, there hasn’t actually been a good 007 game since Goldeneye way back on the N64, and the team that made that great game made stuff like Perfect Dark (still the best FPS of all time IMHO) and more recently, Time Splitters 2. Surprisingly though, while definitely not up there with Goldeneye, this latest Bond adventure is the best one since it.

Graphics:
Hey, Bond actually looks like Pierce Brosnan. That may not seem at that big a deal, but this is the first time they’ve gotten it right in awhile. The game moves pretty smoothly overall, although it can definitely suffer from some slowdown if there’s a ton going on (which happens plenty in multi-player). The levels are very expansive and have a lot of great detail, right up there with many great looking Xbox games, which is surprising since this is a multi-platform title. And I love the fact that they have a title sequence that looks like it’s another Bond movie.

Sound:
Lots of really good remixes of that great 007 theme, but it does play it a little too often for my taste. The voice acting is pretty bad, the guy doing Bond sounds like he’s doing a very poor Sean Connery impersonation. And the theme song does really, really suck. But when not just playing the Bond theme and it’s many variations, the music is very good, and the sound effects are pretty good as well.

Gameplay:
Unlike most FPS, this game’s biggest strength is it’s huge variety. You’ll protect an agent by sniping guys from a helicopter, drive your famous BMW, sneak covertly into parties, be in a snowmobile chase, and that’s just the first couple of levels. A good variety of control setups make sure you get what you want. Unfortunately, the driving levels are a little too complex, as I’ll have too drive like a stock car racer, release smoke screens, set up
and fire missiles, all in the span of 3 seconds. I also have a problem with the fact that you can’t switch to another weapon while you are reloading, which can leave you completely defenseless at times. But my biggest complaint is the length of levels. These are really well designed for the most part, but most can be beaten in about 10 minutes, and a couple can even be beaten in 5.

Features:
A surprisingly robust multi-player with tons of unlockable varieties of skins (like Odd Job) and multi-player games and arenas, as well as a trailer for the latest film (although in my opinion it’s a bad trailer). But I do have problem in that in team games, you can’t assign bad guys to certain teams and vice versa with good guys, it’s just stupid.

Funfactor:
This reminds me a lot of Red Faction II in the fact that it has a fairly good balance between single and multi-player, but the single player isn’t nearly as strong as Halo or more recently Medal of Honor, and the multi-player is great, but not quite as good as Time Splitters 2 (although to be fair, TS2 is the best multi-player FPS since Perfect Dark). It’s extremely short (but very fun) single player makes it really only for people who do want to add another multi-player FPS to their library, which is never a bad idea.

--Final Scores—

Graphics: 9.0-Great levels and cinemas, and good animation, but really bad slowdown occasionally.

Sound: 7.5-Good music and solid effects, but horrible voice acting.

Gameplay: 7.0-One player is great, but WAY too short. You really should be able to switch guns in the middle of reloading, and driving is too loaded for it’s own good.

Features: 9.5-Loaded with multi-player modes, characters, and cheats, but team aspects need a little work.

Funfactor: 8.5-Easily the best Bond game since Goldenye.

Review of Star Trek: Nemesis

Tue, 17 Dec 2002 04:18:32 GMT

Captain Picard and the crew of the Enterprise are back for yet another voyage in the vastness of space in the latest movie in the long running Trek franchise. In this latest outing, the Romulan senate has been taken over by a slave race, the Remans. Sending a request for a diplomatic meeting, the Enterprise travels to Romulus to find that its new leader bears a striking resemblance to Captain Picard. As it turns out, this new leader was originally supposed to be a Picard clone, meant to infiltrate Star Fleet for the Romulans, but for some reason the plan was never carried out and he was left on the slave planet to die. He claims to only want to finally have peace between Romulus and the Federation, but of course his real plans turn out to be much more sinister than anyone could’ve imagined.
Most of the original (or at least what was left in the last movie) cast is back, which includes of course Patrick Stewart, Jonathon Frakes, Brent Spiner, Gates McFadden, and so on. There are even a couple of surprising cameos (which I won’t spoil for the trekkies out there). This is definitely a movie made for Star Trek fans, with a lot of humor relating to things you’d only get if you watched the show and plenty of in-jokes, which may leave out some of the audience out in the cold if they are just looking for a fun, accessible sci-fi adventure like “First Contact”. The action scenes are a little cluttered and overall just seem silly, including the climatic battle, which while it takes place over 400 years ahead of us, is basically a knife fight (an I’m not even talking laser knives in some bad Star Wars rip off, more like West Side Story). Still, it’s got more than enough humor and action to keep most people entertained, making this a fairly worthy space adventure, but still something I’d put under the “good if you’ve seen everything else category.”

Final Grade: B-

Review of Simpsons Skateboarding for PS2

Sun, 15 Dec 2002 16:49:06 GMT

        Publisher: Electronic Arts/Fox Interactive
        Developer: The Code Monkeys
        Genre: Skateboarding
        # Of Players: 1-2

    Oh joy, another Simpsons game. After the craptacular horrors known as Simpsons Wrestling & Simpsons Road Rage (although at least Road Rage was funny), I think all of us are extremely wary of another Simpsons game. In this one, it’s a Tony Hawk rip off, as you are skating through various locales from the show. Unfortunately, this continues the trend of horrible Simpsons games, as it’s the worst one yet, with one of the worst skating engines I’ve ever seen, and a top contender for worst game of the year.

Graphics:
This actually looks much worse than the TV show, which has a somewhat crude look by design. The locales are much simpler than the TV show, the animation is horrid, barely existent in fact, and the effects are beyond laughable.

Sound:
Yeah, there are Simpsons voices. Kent Brockman as announcer, what a stupid idea. All the one-liners are either incredibly unfunny or incredibly old ones that have been used repeatedly. The music is just plain painful and doesn’t even fit with the game. And effects are nonexistent as your crashing doesn’t make any sound and nothing is going on in stages sound wise anyways.

Gameplay:
Wow, these defy even the laws of cartoon physics. Regardless of the character you choose, every character gets about as much airtime as Comic Book Guy would. Ramping is extremely inconsistent; going up one side you get up real high in the air, the next time you can barely get over it. Then there are the idiotic missions, like get the letters that spell “Skinner”, and are all over the place, which you must get in order in something like one minute and thirty seconds with no real indicator of where they even are.

Features:
3 modes. That’s it. Only 2 players. No create-a-skater mode or level mode.  And what is it with all these games only having one level available at the beginning?

Funfactor:
This is about as fun as having to spend a week in Grandpa Simpsons’ retirement home. I’ve seen a lot of shoddy licensed games, but this is possibly the worst licensed game I have ever played. You have to make a conscious effort to make a game this horrible. It does everything wrong in every possible way. In presentation, in gameplay, in general concept. This is a kind of game where the designers deserve to be tarred & feathered for releasing such a horrid insult to fans of skateboarding, fans of the Simpsons, and generally people who are fans of actually having any fun.

--Final Scores—

Graphics: 1.0-The show looks crude & simple on purpose….

Sound: 0.0-The worst possible choices in bad one-liners, music, commentary, etc.

Gameplay: 0.5-Absolutely the worst skating engine I have ever seen.

Features: 2.0-Extremely limited amount of features compared to any other skating title on the market.

Funfactor: 0.5-There’s actually a game worse than Kabuki Warriors….

Review of Dragon’s Lair 3D: Return to the Lair for Xbox

Sun, 15 Dec 2002 16:44:05 GMT

    Publisher: Ubi Soft
    Developer: Dragonstone Software
    Genre: Action
    # Of Players: 1

    If there was one thing that has really classified this year in videogames, it’s been the huge amount of updates and sequels of once thought dead series. From Mortal Kombat to Shinobi to Metroid, we’ve seen updates of so many classic series it’s mind-boggling. Of course, the results have definitely been mixed, as some were definitely best left in the past. And now comes to the latest, an update to the revolutionary laserdisc-based classic Dragon’s Lair. Once again, you are Dirk the Daring, valiant but incredibly clumsy knight, braving the dangers of a trap loaded and monster-infested castle in order to rescue the beautiful Princess Daphne from evil Dragon Singe. This is essentially the same game you played 20 years ago, just in 3D. And playing it again after all these years makes me remember that under all the fancy animation, this was a truly horrendous game 20 years ago, and it’s even worse today.

Graphics:
These look really, really familiar. I know why, it’s because it looks like the freaking Super Nes version that came out years ago, and even then, that looked horrible. Pasty, almost anemic colors, horrid & clumsy animation. Along with drab-looking levels that all look way too similar.

Sound:
The music is barely tolerable. The voice acting is much worse as Dirk only occasionally utters caveman-like grunts, and Daphne’s shriek will have you switching off the sound almost immediately, and as for sound effects, they are minimal at best, as most things don’t even make a sound.

Gameplay:
Despite the supposed insistence that this is a new version, all you can still really do is jump, swing your sword, and block. This isn’t 1982; you need more maneuvers than this, or at least a better way to incorporate them. Also, who came up with the stupid idea of having Dirk move so slowly? He runs like an extremely rusty tin man. The collision detection is so horrible that I’m constantly falling through platforms and consistently missing guys who I swore I hit. And on top of it, the levels aren’t inventive at all;
this really is the same damn game from 20 years ago.

Features:
Well, you can watch a trailer about how this game is going to revolutionize the gaming industry (yeah, I found it funny too).

Funfactor:
What I remember about this game is how they always say it was one that revolutionized gaming. All it brought a revolution to was insanely raising the cost of gaming in arcades and favoring fancy graphics over actual gameplay. I respect Don Bluth’s vision & talent as an animator & filmmaker, with great movies like Anastasia & Titan A.E. under his belt, but he has shown that he has absolutely no clue as to even make a decent video game. It wasn’t as evident then due to the nifty concept, but Dragon’s Lair was a horrible game then and it’s worsened with age. Some things are definitely better left in the past where we still have fond memories of them.

--Final Scores—

Graphics: 1.5-Looks like a bad Super Nes game.

Sound: 3.0-The best part is the barely tolerable music.

Gameplay: 2.5-Ancient concepts poorly implanted combined with horrid collision detection.

Features: 5.5-Making of feature, that’s about it.

Funfactor: 2.0-I’d rather be stomped on repeatedly by Singe than have to suffer through this garbage again.

Review of Die Hard Vendetta for Gamecube

Sun, 15 Dec 2002 16:37:27 GMT

      Publisher: Sierra Entertainment
        Developer: Bits Studios
        Genre: FPS
        # Of Players: 1

    John McClaine is back in action again in Die Hard Vendetta (why not, I heard they were trying to get together another movie anyways). In this one, John is pretty much retired form active duty, and his daughter is actually now a rookie in the LAPD. But when Hans Gruber’s son shows up in town (for those who don’t remember, he was the main bad guy in the first movie), even though he’s appearing as a benefactor to a museum, John knows there’s bound to be nothing but trouble.
    Taking a different approach from the Die Hard Trilogy game on PS, this one goes the first-person shooter route, which would normally sound ideal. However, this Die Hard is a bland & unimpressive paint by numbers FPS.

Graphics:
Ugh. This looks like Lethal Enforcers in the arcade. Grainy, poorly textured levels that glitch all over the place, the people all really do look like they are of a cardboard cutout quality, and the animation is very sloppy as well.

Sound:
The voice acting is done decently, but you’re telling me they couldn’t find one guy who can do a decent impression of Bruce Willis? The music is also done decently as well, but nothing spectacular, and the sound effects are extremely lacking, as people never talk unless you are talking to them, you never hear bullet-ricochets, no real sounds except the gunfire.

Gameplay:
This is the first FPS I have actually played for Gamecube, and I’m realizing the controller isn’t really built well for this style of game, as it is really hard to just aim my gun (although I suspect the control is a little too loose as well). There is plenty of jumping, and it switches between automatic and manual, and jumping in FPS games is stupid in the first place, and it’s done here more horribly than in most. The enemies are incredibly stupid, and they don’t throw enough at you to make stupid enemies a threat like in Serious Sam. Finally, the objectives are way too vague. Something like: “No civilian casualties”, and someone is usually killed in an area I am nowhere near, and I fail the mission. Or “help the police” and by the time I get there, it’s apparently too late to help them.

Features:
Well, there’s a training mode, but that’s about it. A robust multi-player would’ve added some value to this game.

Funfactor:
Well, this is on Gamecube, and given it’s an extremely weak selection of shooters, but there are two quality ones, Time Splitters 2 & Medal of Honor, and either of them would be an extremely valid choice over this game. Beyond the flaws I listed in the gameplay and the crap graphics, it’s just plain boring. There’s nothing original or exciting in this game. A lot of people say shooters haven’t really evolved any since Doom II, but all you have to do is like at Die Hard, which is basically what shooters were like, and games like Halo, Max Payne, Serious Sam, Medal of Honor, Red Faction, and so on, to realize just how much they really have advanced in just a couple years.

--Final Scores—

Graphics: 4.0-Looks like Lethal Enforcers, which came out years ago.

Sound: 6.0-Voice acting is decent, and music is ok, but effects are extremely lacking.

Gameplay: 5.0-Objectives are too broad, aiming is extremely difficult, bad jumping, and stupid enemies.

Features: 5.0-Just a bare minimum of things (not even a multi-player mode).

Funfactor: 5.0-Die Hard? More like bored stupid.

Review of Dark Angel for Xbox

Sun, 15 Dec 2002 16:31:30 GMT

    Publisher: Sierra/Vivendi Universal
    Developer: Radical Entertainment
    Genre: Action
    # Of Players: 1-2

    The recently canceled futuristic sci-fi action show comes to console. In Dark Angel, you take on the role of Max, a genetically engineered super soldier who escaped when she was a child from an evil government corporation, along with many children who were altered & trained like herself. A massive electromagnetic pulse has wiped out a lot of the U.S. technology-wise, and now it’s like a post-apocalyptic war zone. Your only real ally is a guy known to the world as “Eyes Only”, who exposes the corruption going on in the U.S. in general and especially the illegal dealings of the corporation that created you and others like you.
    I was a big fan of the TV show Dark Angel, so I’m happy to see it continue in some kind of format. And they’ve gone a long way in getting the look and feel of the show down, but some glaring flaws in the gameplay keep it from being anything but a decent fighter that might be worth a rental.

Graphics:
Although I don’t know why they did not include any real clips from the show, the cut scenes used to recreate stuff like the intro are done in great detail, but since this is a multi-platform game, it doesn’t look quite as good as say, Buffy. Same thing goes for the in-game levels, they look like they were taken straight from the show, but we’ve just seen better.

Sound:
Voice acting is done by the two main actors for the show, Jessica Alba & the guy who actually played “Eyes Only” (his name escapes me), and the rest of the voices are done really well also. The music is the same style that was in the show, and it fits, but it’s a lot of heavy rap and metal, which may not suit a lot of people’s taste (like mine). Also the effects while you are fighting are decent, and the fact that soldiers talk and respond while you are fighting them is cool, but it’s missing little things such as helicopters flying overhead (which was a constant on the TV show as part of the
atmosphere).

Gameplay:
Initially, it seems pretty cool, as you have a pretty good variety of kick ass maneuvers and combos, and some stealth maneuvers to take out guys as well. But the levels are very straightforward without any real leeway as to how to approach them. As with most games of this type, enemies can easily just gang up and beat you down (although you do have a couple of moves that can give you some space). Sneaking up and taking out guys quietly is impossible because even after you take one guy out and he disappears, another guy comes along, notices the guy is missing, and call in a ton of other guys to come get you. Also, the levels aren’t very interactive, sure you can throw guys against dumpsters to knock them out cold, but where’s something to throw at them in the first place? It would help a lot in dealing with crowds of guys. And finally, there is the rage meter. Supposedly this allows you to do cool stuff in Matrix-style slow motion, but anything I pulled off was by complete accident.

Features:
A couple of nice extras like an interview with James Cameron, who created the show.

Funfactor:
If you were a really big fan of the show, you might be able to overlook the flaws and enjoy this, as it is overall a solid action title. But the stealth features have been done better in games like Metal Gear Solid 2 & Splinter Cell, and the action has been done better in games like Buffy & especially Mark of Kri (Gamecube owners might wanna get this because they are pretty hard up for a good straight action game in this style). Bottom line, Dark Angel is an impressive-looking, but overall underwhelming title on consoles that for the most part have a very good selection of strong action titles.

--Final Scores—

Graphics: 8.0-Nice cut-scenes and captures the look of the show pretty well overall.

Sound: 8.5-Music is much like the music from the show (for better or worse), voice acting is dead on, but sound effects are only decently done.

Gameplay: 5.0-Nice variety of moves, but stealth is impossible, rage meter is confusing, and enemies can too easily gang up on you.

Features: 6.0-Couple of nice video extras, but that’s about it.

Funfactor: 6.5-Again, decent, but there are much better selections of the same style on consoles (except maybe on Gamecube).

Review of Analyze That

Sun, 15 Dec 2002 16:26:57 GMT

    Billy Crystal & Robert De Niro are teaming up again in the follow up to the smash hit about a mobster and his psychiatrist. Now “retired” mob boss De Niro is in prison, and still running it like he is the boss. Until there are attempts on his life. So he fakes insanity in order to get released. And he gets released into Crystal’s custody. Crystal wants him to get a legitimate job, but De Niro just wants to find out who is trying to kill him and get back to his old life.
    The problem is this is no-risk, edgeless, and unoriginal comedy. Nothing has any imagination to it. Every single bit in the movie is based on the idea that it’s funny because it’s Robert De Niro. Robert De Niro singing tunes from West Side Story, Robert De Niro being a used car salesman, Robert De Niro being a restaurant greeter. See, it’s funny cause it’s Robert De Niro, a serious dramatic actor doing these things. Yeah, I didn’t laugh either. Crystal is completely wasted as well, just basically there as a
stoic non-reaction to De Niro, his entire joke throughout the entire movie being that he’s going through a grieving process because his father recently passed away (apparently, that’s the reason for him & his entire family being utterly unfunny).
     There’s also a Sopranos knockoff show that De Niro becomes a consultant on called “Little Caesar”, but no opportunities whatsoever are made to even try and really make fun of the hit cable show. Instead, they do tired old jokes about eccentric directors, and again, it merely puts characters in situations (like when all of De Niro’s old mob crew shows up on the movie set he’s working at), and expects you to think that merely the situation is funny, rather than actually putting any effort into making it funny. Analyze That is a boring, tired, and worst of all; completely laugh less waste of two great stars.

Final Grade: D-

Review of Haven: Call of The King for PS2

Sun, 15 Dec 2002 03:30:18 GMT

    Publisher: Midway
    Developer: Traveller’s Tales
    Genre: Platforming
    # Of Players: 1

    You’re having the dreams. You’re hearing the voice. The voice that Vetch, a powerful & vicious overlord that rules over your world as well as many others, loathes & fears. You are Haven, and you must use your abilities to free your people and defeat the evil overlord Vetch. While it incorporates just about every type of gameplay imaginable, it still limits itself in many ways, and is a solid, but unoriginal collection-fest.

Graphics:
Looks like a very high quality…. N64 game. The levels are very large and varied, and have a generally good look to them, but lack a lot of detail. The characters animate rather stiffly and aren’t very detailed, and there is plenty of slowdown, as well as glitching, along with a very poor use of color.

Sound:
Surprisingly good voice acting in the cut scenes, but acting in game is non-existent; characters don’t talk, even though levels are loaded with them.  The sound effects are rather lacking as well. I don’t hear crackling fire, running water, or even most enemies running after me. But the music is handled very well and fits the atmosphere of the game.

Gameplay:
If you want variety, it’s here. Platform jumping, flying, shooting, etc. Haven takes the idea of throwing everything to the wall and seeing what sticks. Unfortunately, in throwing so many styles of play at you, it doesn’t do any of them exceptionally, and all have some nagging problems (shooting is clumsy, the platforming has some bad camera problems, etc.). Plus there are all these people and buildings around you, but the people don’t react to you and you can’t talk to them, they are just there, and you can’t go into any of the buildings. And every level is collecting so many of an item in order to progress.

Features:
Not a whole lot but a couple of nifty extras such as concept art and a making of feature.

Funfactor:
This is a fairly well put together game with a lot of variety to it, but it still is a collection fest that doesn’t seem to realize its own potential and just doesn’t measure up to Jak & Daxter and especially Ratchet & Clank, but it’s still a very solid platformer in its own right.

--Final Scores—

Graphics: 6.0-Looks like a top-notch game. For the N64.

Sound: 7.5-Music & voice acting is good, but effects are extremely weak.

Gameplay: 6.5-Tons a variety, but nothing is extremely well done, and it’s another collection fest.

Features: 5.5-Couple of cool extras like concept art & making of.

Funfactor: 7.0-A solid & fun, but unoriginal and slightly derivative platformer.

Review of Rocky for PS2

Sun, 15 Dec 2002 03:26:33 GMT

    Publisher: Ubi Soft
    Developer: Rage Newcastle
    Genre: Boxing
    # Of Players: 1-2

    The Italian stallion is back! Easily the most famous movie boxer in history, Rocky and his most famous foes all come to PS2. You take on the role of cinema’s most famous pugilist as he rises from lowly neighborhood gyms and beer halls to main eventing at major arenas like Madison Square Garden, fighting famous opponents like Apollo Creed & Ivan Drago. And it takes the unusual approach of you actually fighting through all of the Rocky movies. While this may seem like every boxing fan’s dream, the horrid fighting and lack of basic options make it not acceptable even to the biggest Rocky devotees.

Graphics:
The fighters look respectably close to their real life counterparts, but why they didn’t include actual cut scenes from the movies is beyond me. But the real crime is in the fights. The arenas & crowds look absolutely horrendous, and the fights are horribly animated with lots of frames missing in the punches, and every wrestler reacts the same to every type of punch.

Sound:
Yeah, the have the famous Rocky music! Which they play over and over and over again until you wan to be deaf just so you’ll never have to hear it ever again. The voice acting is taken straight from the movies, so at least there is that. The sound effects are pretty limiting, every crowd is the same no matter where you go (equally loud, and always liking you, which doesn’t follow the movies, since he didn’t get real popular until his first fight
with Apollo Creed, hey if you’re gonna follow the movies, get it right, dammit!). And where the $&%* is “Eye of the Tiger”?

Gameplay:
Let’s start with the button response, which is so bad that it is impossible to string together anything but a one-button combo. The collision detection is horrible, I have a hard time telling whether I actually hit the guy or not. The scoring system also makes no sense as I will totally annihilate a guy and the score always stays real close. I kid you not one round I knocked out a guy twice, and he landed 10 punches on me, and I only won the round 10 to 9. In between fights you can train to build up skills, but it’s incredibly boring & it’s a lot easier and you’ll be a lot more successful if you just let the computer automatically do it for you.

Features:
Surprisingly lacking. Jus a movie mode, a sparring mode, you can watch cinemas, and that’s about it. There are unlockable fighters and arenas, but that doesn’t really make up for the astounding lack of play modes (where’s a create-a-boxer or minigames to sharpen my skills or even a freaking tutorial?).

Funfactor:
This is a horrible game. It’s such a cool concept to play as Rocky, but apparently Ubi Soft thought it could get by on concept alone. The Rocky series has had it’s up and downs, but this is by far it’s lowest point. I’d rather be beaten senseless by Clubber Lang than have to play through one more round of this insipid insult to one of American cinema’s favorite underdogs.

--Final Scores—

Graphics: 5.0-Boxers look decent, but animate poorly & arenas & crowds look awful.

Sound: 6.0-Voices from the movies, but crowd response is always the same, theme music is played too much, and effects are extremely lacking.

Gameplay: 3.0-Bad button response, collision detection, scoring system makes no sense.

Features: 5.0-Unlockable boxers & arenas, but missing some basic essentials.

Funfactor: 4.0-This Rocky fights more like My Little Pony than an Italian Stallion.

Review of Minority Report for Xbox

Sun, 15 Dec 2002 03:23:16 GMT

    Publisher: Activision
    Developer: Treyarch
    Genre: Action
    # Of Players: 1

    Play in what was my opinion the second best movie of the summer (first of course was Spider Man), Minority Report. You, as chief of the precrime unit John Anderton, has headed an operation that has made Washington D.C. the city with the lowest crime rate in America. There hasn’t been a murder in 6 years, but now you are accused of a precrime, so you are on the run from your own men and must figure out how to stop the inevitable without being arrested. While it has some good ideas, a horribly clumsy fighting engine, pathetic graphics and lack of star power (meaning none) keep this action game mired in mediocrity.

Graphics:
Well, apparently none of the stars of the movie wanted to be associated with this trash, because I recognize nobody from the movie. That’s not really enough to knock it down, but when it looks exactly like the Die Hard Trilogy on PS one with the same poor animation, horrid clipping and frame rate, that does it all on its own.

Sound:
Again, none of the voices from the great actors in the movie such as Cruise or Farrell, but the voice acting that is there isn’t half bad. The music is pretty good and fits with the futuristic action tone of the game. And even the sound effects are pretty good, as you’ll constantly be knocking guys into stuff, and everything makes a pretty good sound, but it’s only so-so when you are straight out fighting as hits don’t always make a sound and neither do gun blasts.

Gameplay:
Initially, it sounds pretty cool. You as John Anderton beat up groups of guys using moves, guns, and throwing them into whatever is handy (you can even throw guys out windows, which is pretty cool). The environment is very destructible, but it’s so limited, because you can only destroy, you can’t pick up and use anything (guys come at me with baseball bats, and I can’t pick it up). The fighting is beyond clumsy. You can kick a punch, and kick punch some more, and then you can grab guys and…. Kick and punch them while grabbing them (you can buy additional moves, but you won’t wanna work for it). Button response is abysmal, as you have to press several times for anything. Every fight is pretty much the same thing, and as with almost all games where you fight multiple enemies, they gang up on you, and even more so than in most recent similar games.

Features:
Actually pretty loaded with cheats, cut scenes, training modes, and even a crappy music video!

Funfactor:
I actually had hoped things had turned around for licensed games this year with great releases like Buffy, Two Towers, Harry Potter and The Thing. But this game reminds me that licensed games are still for the most part horrid pieces of crap meant simply to desperately try and get a few more bucks out of us. Even if you have a shrine to Minority Report hidden in your basement, you’ll wanna offer this up as an unworthy imposter.

--Final Scores—

Graphics: 3.0-Looks like that Die Hard game on PS one a few years ago, and that’s definitely not good.

Sound: 6.5-Solid voice acting & music, but effects are extremely uneven.

Gameplay: 3.0-Destroyable environment is cool, but too limited, enemies gang up way too easily, moves are too simplistic, and controls are extremely unresponsive.

Features: 8.0-Loaded with lots of extras like cheats, training modes, etc.

Funfactor: 4.0-Everybody runs. Away. Far, far away.

Review of Star Wars: Bounty Hunter for PS2

Sun, 15 Dec 2002 03:17:33 GMT

    Publisher: Lucas Arts
    Developer: Lucas Arts
    Genre: Shooter
    # Of Players: 1

    Take on the role of the famous bounty hunter Jango Fett in the latest Star Wars game for game cube. This game takes place before the events of Episode II. And this is basically the story of how Jango Fett ended up getting involved in all the events in Episode II. And while the story is really fleshed out, interesting, and well developed, the gameplay is so problematic that it just isn’t worth going through.

Graphics:
The locales look fairly decent, but the animation on Jango & his enemies is pretty poor, and there’s just an astonishing amount of clipping, frame rate dropping, and even some occasional slowdown. While the locales themselves are pretty lively with plenty of normal civilians & those annoying little robots as well, the actual effects are extremely lacking, I can only blow up a few barrels, for instance.

Sound:
It’s a Star Wars game, meaning it has all the usual great music & effects, & to top it off, they got the actor who plays Jango Fett in the Episode II movie.

Gameplay:
Initially, the gameplay sounds pretty cool, as Fett you chase down bad guys with your dual laser pistols and can do some fairly cool stuff like use a jetpack and cool flips. The main problem is with executing bounties. You have to switch to a first person mode, then lock in on the guy, then use a wire to catch him, and you can only do this one guy at a time, and most times you are facing a flurry of guys, which makes it nearly impossible. There is no map or tracking radar of sorts, so it’s incredibly easy to get lost, and if you are against a wall, your gun gets magically absorbed into them and can’t fire anymore. Plus all the enemies are extremely mundane and idiotic, they all run straight out like morons, and isn’t enough overkill like Serious Sam to make it any sort of menace.

Features:
As usual, plenty of nifty unlockable extras, but some multi-player would’ve been nice.

Funfactor:
The only thing this game has going for is its story. It has a couple of interesting concepts, but they are extremely flawed in concept and there are much better Star Wars games available, and better one-player shooters available (including Jedi Outcast). Bottom line, unless you a desperately interested in the story of Jango Fett, you are better off staying on the lighter side of the force.

--Final Scores—
Graphics: 6.0-Locales look good overall and have plenty of life, but poor effects, lots of clipping & frame rate problems.

Sound: 10-It’s Star Wars, pretty much the standard for great sound these days.

Gameplay: 3.0-My gun gets stuck in walls, capturing bounties is impossible, enemies are insultingly stupid.

Features: 7.0-Lots of unlockable extras as usual, but no multi-player.

Funfactor: 5.5-Only the most dedicated followers of the dark side should bother checking this one out.

Review of Tom Clancy’s Splinter Cell for Xbox

Sun, 15 Dec 2002 03:13:09 GMT

    Developer: Ubi Soft
    Publisher: Ubi Soft
    Genre: Action
    # Of Players: 1

    In America, every citizen is guaranteed certain freedoms. Free speech, freedom of religion, etc. As secret operative Sam Fisher, you have an additional freedom; the freedom to do whatever is necessary in order to protect those rights. Featuring a huge emphasis on stealth, Ubi Soft (and many Xbox fan boys) has basically been promoting Splinter Cell as a Metal Gear Solid-killer. However, while definitely not knocking Metal Gear Solid off its perch, Splinter Cell draws damn near close to it, and definitely establishes itself as an extremely viable contender.

Graphics:
The cinemas are pretty good, but a little shoddy by Xbox standards. The in game graphics are for the most part, incredibly stunning. The locales all look great and extremely realistic, and Sam looks incredibly lifelike and moves with amazing fluidity. And this is why the inconsistencies will sometimes stand out with some frame rate drops & some clipping (and things like laid out enemies feet sticking through doors).

Sound:
The voice acting is fairly uneven. Michael Ironside (Starship Troopers) provides the voice for Sam, and he does an ok job, but he’s not a great actor. The enemies all speak English in really bad foreign accents. The music is done really well though, knowing right when to start up in order to get your blood pumping, and the effects are just amazing as you’ll hear every footstep on broken glass, every door creak, etc.

Gameplay:
Splinter Cell’s gameplay, much like Metal Gear Solid’s, is focused mainly on stealth. You use a variety of gadgets & moves to help you keep out of sight and take out enemies all while avoiding detection. And this is possibly the hardest game ever stealth-wise, because usually the slightest misstep will cost you dearly. And while the stealth element is really well handled overall, it would be nice to have a couple different ways to approach a situation, the game really only gives you one. And unfortunately, in many
situations shooting guys isn’t a good option because your gun is so puny you can’t even take guys out with one direct headshot, and taking them on hand to hand is also a bad idea because until they are knocked out they just keep shooting at you like the hits don’t affect them. And finally, when you are up against walls, the camera gets very hard to handle.

Features:
Well, eventually if you have Xbox live you can download stuff like new levels, but other than that it’s just extremely bare bones.

Funfactor:
This is not a game for everybody. It requires you to really think about how to best approach any situation without being caught taking in a lot of things that most would take for granted (like stepping on carpet over wood so you have less chance of being heard). It’s also pretty damn hard, most players will have to try missions many times in order to succeed, but that doesn’t stop it from being a great game very much in the vein of Metal Gear Solid and a great stand alone game in its own right.

--Final Scores—

Graphics: 8.0-Stunning detail in levels and animation, but some clipping & frame rate problems and cinemas aren’t up to snuff.

Sound: 9.0-Music and effects are amazing. The voice acting well… isn’t.

Gameplay: 8.0-Good controls, but a little linear, and what’s with the wussy little gun?

Features: 5.5-You can download new stuff eventually, but in the meantime there’s nothing else.

Funfactor: 8.5-Just a great stealth game and a great addition to a growing quality Xbox library.

Review of Serious Sam for Xbox

Sat, 14 Dec 2002 03:25:03 GMT

    Publisher: Gotham Games
    Developer: Croteam
    Genre: FPS
    # Of Players: 1-2

    All you stupid wussy posers like Duke Nukem & Max Payne stand aside, Serious Sam has come to kick some ass and take some names & then kick even more ass. Throwing back to the old school gameplay of all time great shooters like Doom, the philosophy of Serious Sam is to throw everything including the kitchen sink at you, then drop a few more houses on your head. Oh sure, there’s a story in here somewhere (something about investigating some ancient ruins in Egypt), but Serious Sam’s main aim is to have you blast apart anything that moves, and there’s a whole freaking lot of it. And the best part is, unlike all those pretentious shooters that have you doing crap like saving the world and getting revenge, Sam does anything but take itself seriously, which helps make it the most insanely fun shooter I’ve played in years.

Graphics:
While pretty smooth, these are far from impressive graphics. The stages don’t look all that detailed, and the enemies remind me of Doom II, in a bad way. But the impressive part is in how it handles the massive floods of enemies you’ll have to deal with. It handles them all extremely smoothly, without a hint or flicker of slowdown. Unfortunately I can’t say the same for deathmatch mode, as the frame rate takes a pretty bad hit there (although it’s not nearly as bad as say, Jedi Knight).

Sound:
Ok, what the hell is with Sam’s voice? It’s sounds like he’s a bastard child of Duke Nukem & Ash from the Evil Dead series. Oh well. The music is excellently pulse pounding, and really helps you get in with the game. And the enemies all have great, very appropriate sounds as well, from the weird as heck robots to the kamikaze soldiers running straight at you just going AAAAAAAA!!!! But the best part is some hilarious sound bites, like in the first level, a boulder comes after you, and then when it stops, you hear it actually whistle the Indiana Jones theme music! Or there’s one scene after a level that is just a massive battle where Sam looks around at all the mass of carcasses and says, “I see dead people!”. The great sense of humor really helps the insanity of the game.

Gameplay:
Ok, let’s get the weak part out of the way first, the deathmatch mode. This game just obviously wasn’t designed for this, it’s very bare bones (just straight death match, no other modes), and the frame rate just blows, it’s not unplayable, but it’s just boring.
Now, the single-player is insanely fun (and you can also play through it with a friend). The first couple of levels ease you into it, but by the third level, just wave after wave after wave of enemies are thrown at you, and you just blast them down with every single weapon you got (nothing like mowing through a swarm of demon toads with a chain saw). And they jump out from literally everywhere. You are never really sure whether an enemy is just going to pop out from behind you or even literally right in front of you, which really keeps you on edge the whole time. And there are a wide variety of weapons to help you, and you never run out of your basic pistol (which is nice, because there were quite a few times that was all I was down to).

Features:
Well, kind of lacking for an FPS. There’s a co-op mode, an extremely basic deathmatch mode, a hidden difficulty (for the truly insane), and that’s really about it.

Funfactor:
I honestly have not had this much fun (or dealt with so much insanity) in a FPS single player mode since Doom II. If you have an Xbox, there’s just no excuse not too get this great game. The developers at Croteam remembered what made FPS games fun, and then added an insane sense of humor to boot. Granted, if you are looking for a good multi-player mode, you are much better off sticking with Time-Splitters 2, but for my money, this is one of the best games in the Xbox library, if not the best Xbox game of the year.

--Final Scores—

Graphics: 7.5-The levels don’t look all that great, and the enemies look a little outdated, but the game handles everything so smoothly (well except deathmatch mode).

Sound: 9.5-Everything is great, except Sam’s really strange voice.

Gameplay: 8.5-Fantastic single/co-op mode with great levels and weapons, but dull deathmatch.

Features: 5.5-A couple of nifty extras, but pretty lacking compared to most FPS games.

Funfactor: 9.0-Seriously insane, seriously fun, and seriously funny to boot.

Review of Metroid Prime for Gamecube

Sat, 14 Dec 2002 03:17:12 GMT

   Publisher: Nintendo
    Developer: Retro Studios
    Genre: First Person Adventure
    # Of Players: 1

    Space’s most kick ass heroine is back for an all-new adventure on the Gamecube. This game is a direct sequel to the original Metroid way back on the original NES meaning it takes place before Super Metroid on the SNES and even before Metroid II on the Game Boy. The storyline goes something like this: Samus Aran (that’s you) finds a ship of her mortal enemies, the space pirates, but it’s been totally destroyed, and she must go down to the mysterious planet nearby for some answers. Retro Studios took a big risk by putting the game in first person perspective, a radical change that had everyone crying foul when they first heard about it, but not to fear, they have implanted it incredibly well, and out of it comes the best game yet for Gamecube, and in my opinion, the front runner for game of the year.

Graphics:
The word stunning comes to mind. Amazingly realized space wrecks, lush forests & arid deserts, with plenty of fluidly animated & exotic enemies that really do make you feel like you are in another world, and it moves with an inhuman smoothness, with no hint of flicker or slowdown no matter how much is going on.

Sound:
The sound is right up there as well. There really isn’t any voice, but it’s a one- person space adventure, how much talking do you need (besides, it’s always really stupid when the hero has to talk to you like you can’t figure out what’s going on)? The music perfectly fits the exotic atmosphere, and knows instinctly when to pump it up for big battles and when to tone it down to just make you all paranoid. The effects do a great job also, as you’ll hear the crawling of seemingly harmless, but deadly bugs, the quake of weird spiny things, and dangerous big mosquitoes buzzing all around you as well.

Gameplay:
Ok, although it looks like an FPS, and you fight as if you are in one, this doesn’t really qualify in my opinion as an FPS (hence calling it a “first person adventure”). The game isn’t straight shooting; there are plenty of creatively designed bosses that all take more strategy than games like Serious Sam, where it’s blast them until you run out of ammo (not that that’s a bad thing). But there’s also plenty of complex puzzle solving and even platform jumping (and I always say any good FPS has very little to no platform jumping). There have been other attempts to mix genres like this, but none have been even close to as successful. Unfortunately this does lead to my one gripe about the game: the control setup. Oh sure, it works fine, but let’s face it, jumping in first-person perspective is awkward as is, and to add to that, instead of doing the traditional using one analog to move and one to look around, they have you hold down a shoulder button to do so, which is just so unnatural for us gamers who have played games somewhat similar to this.

Features:
Well, while the game itself is bare minimum in features, if you have a game boy advance, Metroid Fusion, and a link cable, you can link up the two for a new costume (joy) & to play the original Metroid (but it is getting a bit pricey at that point).

Funfactor:
This is simply one of the finest games ever made. There’s just no excuse not to have this game regardless of whether you have a Gamecube or not. It combines the best from great shooters like Halo; adventure games like Zelda, and even throws in some Resident Evil quality scares to keep you on your toes the whole way through. This is the kind of game people will desperately try & copy, but never get the formula quite right just because games like this come along so rarely, especially in this day & age when you were sure everything really had been done as good as it can, but Metroid blows that belief out of the water. I’ll say it again, there’s just no good excuse not to go get this game (food can wait, go get it now!).

--Final Scores—

Graphics: 10-Genuinely amazing environments and enemies, and everything runs super smooth.

Sound: 10-Great mix of music and effects, and using them at the right moments.

Gameplay: 9.0-Lots of great originality & action, but jumping is a little awkward and it’s weird having to hold a shoulder button to look around.

Features: 5.5-If you have a GBA & Fusion, there are a couple of cool extras, but it’s too expensive to buy just for that.

Funfactor: 9.5-Just an amazing blend of graphics & gameplay and reminding you that you have never seen everything that can be done.

Review of Mortal Kombat: Deadly Alliance for PS2

Sat, 14 Dec 2002 03:09:31 GMT

   Publisher: Midway
    Developer: Midway
    Genre: Fighting
    # Of Players: 1-2

     The tournament that decides the fate of Earth Realm comes upon us once again. Many warriors return for the fight, including action star Johnny Cage, agent Sonya Blade, bad ass ninjas Sub-Zero & Scorpion, as well as Shang Tsung & Quan Chi, who have now teamed up to accomplish their goals of conquest (hence the name Deadly Alliance), and of course there are plenty of new faces as well ranging from a drunken master to a vampire to a blind warrior. But Mortal Kombat has a troubled history as a series, from the ridiculous excess of blood & guts to the cheesy super combo fighting system that actually got worse with each passing chapter. And at first look, this does seem to be a totally revamped and revitalized game, but a little deeper inspection shows it’s still under the surface the same game we’ve played before, albeit it improved over the last couple of incarnations.

Graphics:
An obvious improvement from the stupid-looking photo-realistic graphics of previous versions, this new Kombat does sport better looks, but there’s still plenty of work to be done. First, the blood looks rather silly, especially if you leave it on the default setting of maximum, where it comes in floods. The animation on the characters is decent, but there are plenty of just stupid moves with obvious frames missing (I’m especially thinking of Johnny Cage’s double bicycle kick which literally consists of a whopping 2 frames of animation). But to be fair, the characters do overall look a lot better. The stages look all right, but just boring and uninspired, the only cool one is “Portal” which really just looks like the end of the world.

Sound:
The music is actually fairly decent, but all the men sound pretty much the same, as do the women. The hits all have the some sickening crunch sound to them (whether it’s a fist or a sword or nunchucks), but the weapons do sound cool when clashing together.

Gameplay:
So Midway, you promised on more depth did you? Well it certainly seems that way. Many of the cheesy moves have been removed from previous versions, and now all characters have three types of fighting, one of which includes weapons. And the pseudo 3D style fools you into thinking it’s more realism based. But then you fight guys like Sub-Zero who can just continually uppercut you into the air and freeze you until you die, Kano with his cheesy out of nowhere cannonball attack, and the extremely incredibly (not too mention new Goro wannabe Moloch, who just throws you into the ground whenever you get close) spotty A.I. It doesn’t matter what difficulty, sometimes you are fighting the equivalent of Richard Simmons, and next round it’s Jet Li. The fatalities for the most part are extraordinarily lame, even most of the new characters just stole their ones from other characters. And the Konquest mode is just a really boring training mode (I thought that was what practice mode was for).

Features:
Beyond loaded in this area. Aside from your fairly basic modes of arcade, vs., practice, and konquest, possibly the biggest draw of this game is the graveyard, where you buy stuff with different colored “koins” you earned while playing in the various modes. There are well over 600 coffins to unlock, with stuff like concept art, hidden characters, stages, costumes, videos more koins, etc.

Funfactor:
Midway didn’t really think this one through enough. Even though it’s still over the top & filled with incredibly cheesy (and cheap) combos & fatalities, it is way down from previous versions, which will most likely alienate the hardcore fans of the series (if there are even any left these days), and it’s nowhere near deep or intuitive enough for people who bashed it for being so shallow in the first place. I appreciate that Midway tried to create a happy medium, but there just isn’t one, and this game more than proves that.

--Final Scores—

Graphics: 7.0-Although better than digitized previous versions, still plenty of bad animation & good looking, but boring stages.

Sound: 6.0-Music is pretty good, but voices all sound the same as do hits.

Gameplay: 4.5-Fatalties suck, still has cheesy cheap combos, A.I. is incredibly schizophrenic, Konquest mode is just training.

Features: 10-Just unlocking all the coffins could keep you busy for a few years….

Funfactor: 6.0-Only the most dedicated kombatants should even bother applying.

Review of Star Wars: Jedi Knight II Jedi Outcast for Xbox

Tue, 26 Nov 2002 03:32:26 GMT

    Publisher: Lucas Arts
    Developer:
    Genre: Shooter
    # Of Players: 1-2

    The highly acclaimed PC hit comes to Xbox. You play as Kyle Katarn, a former Jedi who now does various shuttle missions for the New Republic (which was set up by the rebels after the Emperor was defeated). You are called on to investigate a distress call from a planet that is supposedly abandoned. You stumble on a to grand plot by Imperial forces that will require you to regain your Jedi Powers in order to help save the New Republic.
    Well, this is quite a fresh perspective on shooters, as using light sabers make this one of the few games where you may actually prefer to do melee combat. You can also use a pretty wide variety of force powers as well. Unfortunately, while Jedi Knight provides a fun & engaging single player mode, its horrid multi-player might make all but the most dedicated Jedi skip this one.

Graphics:
The cut scenes are smooth & very impressive, and the levels look pretty good, but do flicker noticeably when there is a lot going on. My only problem in single player is that the enemies react very poorly in their animations. They always act like your first shot doesn’t even phase them (if it doesn’t kill them anyways), and the death animations are horrible, and occasionally don’t make any sense (i.e. I shoot a guy with a blaster, and instead of slumping over he’ll fly like he was hit with a rocket launcher). And finally, while the levels in multi-player look great initially, if you play with more than a few bots or with a second player it becomes chop suey.

Sound:
The acting is top notch (much better than the last two movies), and of course you get that incredibly classic Star Wars music. The effects are also very good as you’ll hear every blaster & swing of light sabers perfectly as well as conversation between enemies ranging from everyday stuff to calling for help.

Gameplay:
Again, the one-player is a lot of fun. It starts off a little slow since you don’t start off with your force powers and there are a good amount of stupid puzzles, but as soon as you get your saber & those force powers, the game gets a lot more creative. You can throw guys from a distance, turn invisible, and even have enemies attack each other.   Handling the light saber is a little awkward at first, but it’s handled surprisingly well, and you can even choose different styles to fight with, which all have a good balance between them.
    Then there is the multi-player. First off, it’s only 2-player. This is Xbox; there is no excuse for this. You can have up to 14 bots in multi-player, but only two players. I think everybody would have rather had the bots removed completely so you could actually have a couple of friends over to play. But then again, the graphics take such a huge hit when you are playing with two players, with a huge drop in frame rate and massive clipping, the game is almost unplayable because its so painful to watch. And we’ve seen games like Halo & Time Splitters 2 handle this much better, so there’s just not really any excuse for it either.

Features:
Well, there is just tons of multi-player modes if you want to play it anyways, as well as difficulties, and unlockable extras & cheats, so the game is extremely loaded.

Funfactor:
The one-player is great, but there are better one-player modes currently available (Medal of Honor, Max Payne, Serious Sam, and oh yeah, Halo). What I was really looking forward to was dueling light sabers with 2 or 3 friends. Even if you have an Xbox link cable, you can still only play with two people. And once again, even only with two players the multi-player just falls apart. If you just want a good one-player Star Wars game, then I highly recommend it, but those looking for a good multi-player shooter
luckily have plenty of other options, because it’s one of the shoddiest I’ve played in a long time.

--Final Scores—

Graphics: 7.0-Cut scenes look great, as do the stages in single player, but the animations are pretty bad, and the graphics are just destroyed in multi-player.

Sound: 10-It’s Star Wars, what did you expect?

Gameplay: 5.0-You only get half of the game right, you only get half of the points.

Features: 7.0-Loaded with modes & unlockable stuff (but only two-players!!!!)

Funfactor: 7.5-Still a very good single player game, but I was looking for a great MULTI-PLAYER game.

Review of Resident Evil Zero for PS2

Tue, 26 Nov 2002 03:26:49 GMT

    Publisher: Capcom
    Developer: Capcom
    Genre: Survival Horror
    # Of Players: 1-2

    Resident goes back to before the beginning. In this prequel that actually takes place before the infamous events in that mysterious mansion, a train full of passengers is attacked by a mysterious force. A S.T.A.R.S. team of operatives is investigating a mysterious crash site and an escaped prisoner convicted to die. One member, Rebecca Chambers, happens upon the train, now filled with corpses. A mystery begins.
    This is the first original Resident Evil title to be on the Gamecube, and while it features some of the classic elements shared by all the previous games, it also features some new ones, most importantly the new partner mode.  You have a partner throughout most of the game & a second player can play as well. Although it still has some of the same problems that have plagued the whole series, they bring back a lot of the scare & pure fun that has been missing in the last few incarnations.

Graphics:
Easily the best graphics I’ve seen this year on Gamecube and arguably the best graphics I’ve seen all year. The cut scenes look incredible, a lot more cleaned up from the grainy ones in the Resident Evil remake. The rendered backgrounds look amazing as well as intensely creepy with nice little details like an arm of a corpse that swings just enough to make you notice it. The effects are done in gory detail in a good way, & the game just looks incredibly smooth all around.

Sound:
Sound can make or break games like this, and as usual Resident provides an extremely good mix to keep you on your toes, jumping in with pulse-pounding music (and usually a really well done sound that’ll scare the hell out of you). The effects give just the right amount of chill as well, being there but so subtly that it gets very creepy. My only complaint, in fact, is the god-awful voice acting. Capcom’s one of the biggest companies in gaming, there is no reason they can’t hire some decent voice talent for this series. It really jerked me out of the game whenever there was a cut scene with long bits of talking because it’s so bad.

Gameplay:
AGH! THOSE CONTROLS ARE BACK! For better or for worse (and even the biggest Resident Evil fans usually admit it’s for worse), Capcom has decided to stick with the same control style as all previous ones, which means a lot of awkward running and imprecise aiming. But what they have done to help balance for guys like me who’d rather blast their way through everything in sight is add a ton more ammo (well, at least on the “easy” setting they did, thank god!), as well as a partner that is with you thoughout most of the game, which is computer-controlled, and you can also move him/her around with the little yellow analog. Also, instead of dropping items only in chests, you can drop them anywhere and pick them up later. But the puzzles are still pretty mundane, all boiling to finding a key or pushing the right switch.

Features:
3 difficulty settings, and as usual unlockable modes depending on how well you do in the game. I think a two-player option would’ve been incredibly cool, but it’s not really necessary.

Funfactor:
It’s Resident Evil. If you like the series, you are going to be way into this game as it’s a good representation of what the series is historically best at (and I personally think this is the first really scary one in quite awhile). If you hate the series, this probably won’t change your mind. If you are a middle of the road guy like myself, who liked a couple of the titles in the series, this is definitely worth a look, as even with the bad controls it manages to be an engaging experience. But the time is coming where Capcom really needs to start moving the series in a new direction (and with Resident Evil going online, that looks to be happening).

--Final Scores—

Graphics: 10-Easily the best (and creepiest) graphics I have ever seen on Gamecube.

Sound: 9.0-Sound and music is near perfect, but the poor voice acting really takes away from the game.

Gameplay: 6.5-More ammo, having a partner is good, but same mundane puzzles & bad controls.

Features: 6.0-Difficulty choice is nice, and unlockable modes of play.

Funfactor: 8.0-Go ahead, get scared again.

Review of Die Another Day

Tue, 26 Nov 2002 03:00:17 GMT

   The world’s most famous (and smoothest) secret agent is back. In his latest globetrotting mission to stop the bad guys and get all the girls, Bond (Pierce Brosnan), is a victim of a setup on a mission gone horribly wrong in Asia. Held captive for 14 months, he is finally traded, but its only because the U.S. government believes he has been tortured enough that he’s actually giving up secrets, Bond is officially benched. But that’s not really enough to stop him from escaping in order to find and track down whoever betrayed him, as well as the dangerous terrorist he was traded for, Zao. And of course along the way he meets a gorgeous & mysterious woman, this time her name is Jinx (Halle Berry)
    Bond is undoubtedly the longest running franchise in film history, and this latest film may be the best yet. All the classic elements are there: The incredibly cool gadgets ranging from your standard laser watch to an invisible car with the usual assortment of firearms, a few new bond babes, and all the cheesy puns. Brosnan as usual pulls the role off really well, he’s one of a handful of actors who can really pull off the smooth attitude Bond requires and not make it seem over the top and closer to Austin Powers. Halle Berry does a pretty good job as well, but this is definitely not a role that is based on or requires her acting ability.
    The action sequences are all incredibly well done and just plain fun to watch (especially a super car vs. super car duel near the end), and there are plenty of really creative sets and current updates of classically cool traps. My only real complaint in fact, as with the last Bond film, is that there isn’t really a villain with a cool gimmick. Sure, Zao has a horrendously diamond-scarred face, and the main villain is a full blown insomniac, but those aren’t cool gimmicks like having a steel jaw, a deadly hat, or being able to crush people with your legs. Oh well, I guess you can’t have everything.

Final Grade: A-

Review of Shinobi for PS2

Sun, 24 Nov 2002 16:27:46 GMT

    Publisher: Sega
    Developer: Overworks
    Genre: Action
    # Of Players: 1

    The classic returns in 3D. A mysterious gold palace has arisen. There are strange powerful demons known as hellspawn that are flooding the city. Most of your ninja clan has been wiped out, and their corpses are being used to attack you. As a ninja master, you must fight your way through various enemies and bosses using a variety of skills and weapons. And while it does have a couple of key flaws that keep it from being great, this new Shinobi is a fairly solid action game will that most likely satisfy fans of the original.

Graphics:
Shinobi himself moves and animates pretty well, but the enemies (& some bosses) are kind of stiff and poorly detailed. The levels get the job done but are pretty barren; unless you are fighting some enemies the place is completely lifeless and mostly static even when you are fighting enemies.

Sound:
The music is actually pretty good, fitting the game very well. The voice acting is just ok. The only real weakness is in the effects. The enemies make little to no noise for the most part, and the bosses are rather underwhelming as well (i.e. the first boss is a helicopter, but I don’t hear the blades even though it’s right on top of me).

Gameplay:
Shinobi has a decent range of abilities, from his sword that slices through just about anything to throwing daggers, and a very cool quick sort of sidestep move. But how about some martial arts or a variety of sword combos instead of just one? Lots of times when he defeats groups of enemies, it will do a cut scene where all the enemies die at the same time. At first this is cool, but it does it so often it gets annoying within the first level. And the enemies can gang up on you and get in some incredibly cheap hits (gee, if only they ripped of Mark of Kri’s fighting system to help avoid things like that).

Features:
Just your basics here. How about giving us different costumes to unlock or the original Shinobi for that matter?

Funfactor:
Again not a classic, but a very solid action game that is definitely worth a look if you are a fan of the original or find your selection of action titles rather wanting. It’s a good update to a classic that opens the game up to a whole new generation of fans. Being a ninja is cool once again.

--Final Scores—

Graphics: 7.0-Sinobi looks great, but levels are kind of lifeless & enemies don’t look very good either.

Sound: 7.0-Music is good and acting is decent, but effects are lacking.

Gameplay: 7.5-Decent amount of moves, but could be more, cut scenes of killings get annoying quickly, lots of cheap hits.

Features: 5.0-Just the basics. Gimme the original!

Funfactor: 7.5-A perfectly solid action game for your PS2 library and a worthy update.

Review of Dr. Muto for PS2

Sun, 24 Nov 2002 16:23:42 GMT

    Publisher: Midway
    Developer: Midway
    Genre: Platformer
    # Of Players: 1

    Meet Dr. Muto, a mad scientist. Oh he’s a nice guy and all, but he is quite mad. And his latest invention is an energy converter, designed to solve the energy crisis on Planet Midway. Unfortunately, when the doctor turns the device on, it blows up the planet into many pieces. So now to set things straight, Dr. Muto has to restore the planet by gathering energy from the other planets in the solar system.    Sounds like a fairly typical platformer, but Dr. Muto tries to distinguish itself by Muto’s special ability to turn himself into different creatures in with different abilities in order to be able to get through different parts of the level. But this is all stuff we’ve seen before on tons of other platforming games and that combined with the poor execution, makes for a rather mediocre platform game (especially when you have plenty of
other choices on PS2)

Graphics:
While there is a perfectly fitting wacky look to the levels & Muto himself looks good and is fairly well animated, the levels have really poor quality textures, the enemies look cool, but don’t really animate all that well. And the game skips all over the place with a horrid frame rate.

Sound:
The music is just strange, it sounds like it’s a bad rip off of a sci-fi 50s TV show, which I guess sort of fits, but it still doesn’t sound good. The voices aren’t done all that well either, Muto sounds appropriate, but badly acted and not funny. The effects are erratic at best (i.e.: You have a zapper that looks like a remote that makes a sound like it’s high voltage, but occasionally it’ll make no sound whatsoever).

Gameplay:
Oh joy, another collection fest. All you basically do is go to a level and collect energy spheres, vials, DNA, etc. Playing as plain old Muto is just plain dull, as he doesn’t have any decent abilities other than double jump (gee how original). And while you can change into other forms with different abilities, rather than using them at various areas for different ways of playing, the game really restricts you so that they are only really usable at certain parts specifically designed for them. The camera is awful, obscuring
your view all the time, causing a lot of deaths from falling. And finally, there are invisible walls in the strangest of areas, forcing you to be extremely linear.

Features:
Surprisingly loaded with stuff including a making of video (apparently so you can figure out where they went wrong), and lots of game demos as well.

Funfactor:
It doesn’t look good, it doesn’t play good, and it’s unoriginal and derivative. It’s just not fun. This seemed to be a promising idea, but the execution is so poorly done, it just feels horribly rushed. Sure, this isn’t a horrible game, and kids might enjoy it for a weekend, but there are some good quality platformers out there available for the PS2 (especially Ratchet & Clank), so do yourself a favor and skip the insanity of Dr. Muto.

--Final Scores—

Graphics: 4.0-I like the wacky design, but the poor textures and horrid frame rate really mar the style of the game.

Sound: 4.5-Effects just aren’t there sometimes, music is bad, voice is tolerable.

Gameplay: 4.0-Bad camera, abilities are too gimmicky, and boring collecting.

Features: 7.5-Pretty decent amount of cool extras.

Funfactor: 5.5-Just another mediocre platformer.

Review of Kakuto Chojin for Xbox

Sun, 24 Nov 2002 16:20:24 GMT

    Publisher: Microsoft
    Developer: Dream Publishing
    Genre: Fighting
    # Of Players: 1-2

    A tournament held by a mysterious corporation. A group of strange fighters all competing for their own reasons. Sound familiar? Sounds like just pretty much every other fighter out there. However, we all know story doesn’t really matter in a fighting game, and this is actually Microsoft’s first attempt to deliver a new challenger to the 3D fighting arena. Unfortunately, while it looks and sounds like a current generation fighter, it plays like a shallow 16-bit one.

Graphics:
The fighters look good and unique for the most part, and all move fairly smoothly, but there are some frames of animation missing in hit collision and it shows. But the real big problem is the arenas. They are not just contained, they are completely lifeless, just an extremely static & stale background, even though it’s a 3D game.

Sound:
The music is techno-style, but it actually fits the game pretty well. The character voices more than fit, as they all just speak their native language, but they only say a couple of canned phrases that get annoying really quickly. The effects are bare minimum; every hit has the same “snap “ sound to it.

Gameplay:
And here’s where it falls apart. The levels are extremely confined, even compared to Virtua Fighter 4’s which are somewhat confined by design. Everyone has the same basic move set, and even most of the combos are the same (i.e., XXY is a combo, XXA gives me the exact same combo). And every fighter has about 4 or 5 moves. It’s just very shallow and gets old very, very quickly.

Features:
Usual set of extras, some multiplayer modes, practice, survival, etc.

Funfactor:
Even on its own, this will be seen as an extremely shallow & unpolished fighter. Up against DOA 3 (and if you have a PS2, Virtua 4, the new Mortal Kombat & even Tekken 4), this game’s flaws show even more. It’s just an extremely shallow game that feels like it’s an extremely early beta and really needs anywhere from 6 months to year more in development.

--Final Scores—

Graphics: 8.0-The fighters look good and move well, but the stages are lifeless.

Sound: 7.0-Music is pretty good fit, as are the voices, but annoying canned phrases and very minimalistic sound effects.

Gameplay: 2.5-Extremely small set of moves & everybody has the same basic moves & combos are way too similar.

Features: 7.0-Usual set of extras for a fighter.

Funfactor: 4.0-Just a very shallow & unpolished fighter.

Review of BMX XXX for Xbox

Sun, 24 Nov 2002 16:17:13 GMT

    Publisher: Acclaim
    Developer: Acclaim
    Genre: Extreme Sports
    # Of Players: 1-4

    The extreme sports genre takes a rather extreme twist with BMX XXX. Not only featuring outrageous characters such as Amish Boy, topless bikers, a strip challenge, as well as awarding you by offering real videos of strippers. This is the very definition of using sex to sell something. But of course the real question is if there is a solid engine behind it so you aren’t paying $50 for some trashy videos. Unfortunately, however all XXX really has going for it is its softcore nudity.

Graphics:
Decent. These graphics are basically on par with first generation PS2 games. Very large stages with a lot of variety but don’t really look all that great, with plenty of glitching and pop-up, & the characters are really poorly animated.

Sound:
The sound effects are not existent. No voice either. The music is decent, but fairly outdated (the best example being use of some old Green Day hit, which is the song I heard the most often).

Gameplay:
Well, let’s start with an example of had badly the objectives are handled. There’s this mission in one level where you have to drag a lounge singer around the level in about a minute. And all you have to do is run into the guy to start dragging him, but it gives you no indicator on who the guy is, and other missions have the same problems, never highlighting the objective or pointing you in the right direction. The controls are decent, but not really up to snuff with top-notch games in the same genre like Tony Hawk &
Aggressive Inline.

Features:
Loaded with extras and a bunch of unlockable movies (all featuring strippers). But why is there no level editor? That’s pretty much standard in these games nowadays.

Funfactor:
This is a perfectly decent extreme sports game. But it’s nowhere near up to the level of all the great extreme sports games available, especially Tony Hawk & Aggressive Inline. There’s just no compelling reason to buy this. And no, the nudity is definitely not a reason (here’s an idea, go use the $50 on a real stripper! It’ll be much more satisfying!). It’s a desperate attempt to sell a fairly shallow project.

--Final Scores—

Graphics: 5.0-Looks like a first generation PS2 game.

Sound: 5.0-Music is outdated, sound effects and voice just aren’t there.

Gameplay: 4.5-Control is flawed; missions need a lot of work.

Features: 7.0-Plenty of extras, but where’s the level editor?

Funfactor: 5.5-Just another game with a lame gimmick that doesn’t hide its shortcomings.