If...

If I were a stone, I would be: Tiger's Eye.
If I were a tree, I would be: A Morton Bay Fig.
If I were a bird, I would be: A falcon.
If I were a machine, I would be: A moving head light.
If I were a tool, I would be: A swiss army knife, with a little light in it.
If I were a flower/plant, I would be: Marijuana.
If I were a kind of weather, I would be: Pelting rain on a warm night.
If I were a mythical creature, I would be: A dragon. (European, none of this poofy Chinese crap)
If I were a musical instrument, I would be: A tinwhistle.
If I were an animal, I would be: An orangutang.
If I were a color, I would be: So blue it's black.
If I were an emotion, I would be: Contentment.
If I were a vegetable, I would be: Lettuce.
If I were a sound, I would be: A rolling thunderclap.
If I were an Element, I would be: Mercury.
If I were a car, I would be: Abandoned and rusted, with a tree growing through me.
If I were a song, I would be: Exploration, by Hardknox.
If I were to trade places with another person, it would be: Graeme Nicol, the lighting designer for Avril Lavinge.
If I were a movie, I would be: Fight Club.
If I were a food, I would be: Eggplant, fetta and capsicum towers.
If I were a place, I would be: A forest clearing where raves are held.
If I were a material, I would be: Dark blue suede.
If I were a taste, I would be: I'm not sure how many people have tasted Dilmah tea when on acid, but that.
If I were a religion, I would be: Ba'hai.
If I were a word, I would be: Perplexing.
If I were an object, I would be: A flowing, glowing, shapeless sculpture.
If I were a body part I would be: Lips.
If I were a facial expression I would be: Surprise.
If I were a subject in school I would be: Drama.
If I were a cartoon character I would be: Gambit.
If I were a shape I would be: Entirely irregular and asymmetrical.
If I were a number I would be: Four hundered and twenty.
If I were a month I would be: August.
If I were a day of the week I would be: Sunday
If I were a time of day I would be: Three AM
If I were a direction I would be: Behind you.
If I were a piece of furniture I would be: A small couch.
If I were a sin I would be: Thrift.
If I were a historical figure I would be: Socrates.
If I were a liquid I would be: Liquid nitrogen.
If I were a method of death I would be: A Kylie Minogue song.

Courtesy of Tam