Friday, September 03, 2004

Militant My Ass So when did the news departments of the major networks decide that terrorist was a dirty word and that militant should be used instead? You decide: mil·i·tant ADJECTIVE:    1. Fighting or warring.  2. Having a combative character; aggressive, especially in the service of a cause: a militant political activist. NOUN:    A fighting, warring, or aggressive person or party. ETYMOLOGY:    Middle English, from Old French, from Latin mlitns, mlitant-, present participle of mlitre, to serve as a soldier. See militate. OTHER FORMS:    mili·tance, mili·tan·cy -NOUN mili·tant·ly -ADVERB ter·ror·ist NOUN:   One that engages in acts or an act of terrorism. ADJECTIVE:    Of or relating to terrorism. OTHER FORMS:    terror·istic -ADJECTIVE ter·ror·ism NOUN:    The unlawful use or threatened use of force or violence by a person or an organized group against people or property with the intention of intimidating or coercing societies or governments, often for ideological or political reasons. Definitions from The American Heritage® Dictionary of the English Language - Fourth Edition. Also, if the teleprompter readers that pass for news anchors at WCBS 2 use the words team coverage one more time while covering Hurricane Frances, I'm going to put my fist through the TV. File under Rants and Raves. 8:33:29 AM

	Thursday, September 02, 2004

Why Censored WiFi? I was ecstatic when I saw the Free WiFi Inside sign at my local Panera. I had visions of downing hot cups of java and broadband wireless without having to pay the ridiculous prices that T-Mobile charges over at Starbucks. So, I was clicking over to one of my favorite daily reads when this came up on the screen: This site is blocked by the SonicWALL Content Filter Service. URL: http://www.dogsnot.net/mt/ Reason for restriction: Forbidden Category "Violence/Hate/Racism" You've got to be kidding me right? I mean, Dog Snot Diaries? Who the hell makes these decisions? I mean, I'm an adult and I don't need some corporate asshat telling me what I can read on the web. It wouldn't let me on to FARK either, because it was considered to be "pornographic." What are they afraid of, somebody's going to be looking over my shoulder and I might be looking at a boobies link? You know what? Stop looking over my friggin' shoulder and drink your coffee you pervert! Selah. File under Rants and Raves. 7:09:55 PM

	Thursday, August 12, 2004

I Dreamt I Was Defending a Deposition... ...and woke up to discover I was. Just kidding. But I did sit through an interminable "examination" of my client by an inexperienced lawyer who confused being repetitive with being thorough. After the first 15 minutes I could have objected to practically every question this idiot asked. The trouble was, it would have turned an 8 hour deposition into a 10 hour one. So, I let him go his merry way for the most part; entirely missing the point of what he was doing. He brought the tedium back to redundancy. But what can you expect with the state of the legal profession business these days. Clients won't pay to have a young associate attend a deposition being conducted by a more senior lawyer (even though they are benefiting from another client that paid for senior's attendance while he was young) and law firms, being greedy as they are, won't eat the billables either. So, instead, you have an ineffective examination taken by an inexperienced lawyer that just wastes his client's money. The trouble is it also wastes my time and my client's money. It got to the point where I could envision the following scenario playing out following another confusing and convoluted question: ME: "Objection." YOUNG LAWYER: "On what grounds?" ME: "The grounds are that at some point I completely lost interest in what you were asking." So, while all of this was going on (and while, during breaks, I was on the phone desperately trying to hold a deal together for another client) all hell was breaking loose. Jeez, I just can't go away for a minute without the whole world going down the crapper. The other day we had the incident with Mike "What-the-F**k-Are-You-Looking-At" Wallace and the cowboys who looked to go federal on him. Today, we had Smilin' Jim McGreevey. I guess if you're former Connecticut Governor John Rowland you have to be glad that it's taking some of the attention away from your problems. Well it seems that not only have some of Smilin' Jim's cronies been caught with their hands in the till, but Smilin' Jim has been caught with his hand in another man's pants. More Democrat Family Values I suppose. They're even proposing a category over at FARK. Democrat Richard Codey, the current president of the state senate said, "Jim McGreevey is a good person and a good friend and today's events sadden me." Good person? Not only was he looking to put his Johnson in another man's caboose, but he was cheating on his wife to boot. The way I see it, this is the least of his problems. Let's look at the tally for his administration: Some of his most trusted advisors and friends -- Gary Taffet, Paul Levinsohn, Roger Chugh, and David D’Amiano have all been under investigation or have been indicted for serious offenses. Most recent was D'Amiano for influence peddling and extortion schemes involving a Piscataway, New Jersey farm owner. Smilin' Jim spent $105,000 of the state’s money on drinks for some distant cousins during a trip to Ireland. He had previously named his boyfriend Golan Cipel to a job as as coordinator of New Jersey's anti-terrorism efforts. A job he wasn’t even remotely qualified to do. He took a a vacation to Puerto Rico with some questionable cash from the mob-tied Longshoreman’s union. His top fund raiser, Charles Kushner, who almost became head of the Port Authority, was indicted and accused of secretly hiring prostitutes to video-tape and embarrass a witness in an ongoing campaign finance investigation. (Although McGreevey himself was not indicted, he was implicated in that case for using the code word "Machiavelli." That word was established by undercover federal investigators to signal his complicity in a scheme to extort campaign money in exchange for help in a land dispute.) I won't even get into his out-and-out imcompetence as governor. But, in his defense, I guess we'd never have to worry about him refering to the loyal opposition as girly men. File under Rants and Raves. 11:40:34 PM

	Wednesday, August 11, 2004

A Little Traveling Music Sam It's been a long day. First, I had to shlep all the way into Brooklyn for an early morning meeting at a client's office. Most of the way back was spent on the cellphone (hands-free of course) trying to pull another client's fat out of the fire while driving into the teeth of a bad thunderstorm. Well, at least it felt like summer, not like fall the way it's been. Listening to Imus in the Morning on the way in I heard about Mike Wallace's little altercation with two Taxi and Limousine Commission "inspectors." At first I thought it was some kind of put-on, but the story was real. Normally, I enjoy a good tale of a celeb getting into a little trouble like this with the obligatory Nick Nolte-like mug shot posted at The Smoking Gun. Yeah, just a little revelling in the agony of others. Except that I can't stand these cowboys either. It's not even like they're real cops. They're just pains-in-the-ass. "I'm an 86-year-old man," Wallace told the Post. "For whatever reason, this guy and his buddy were intent upon telling me that I was interfering with the execution of the law." Haven't we all been there with these kinds of jackasses. I've got nothing against the police. It's just clowns like these, or the dick-head local-suburban-speed-trap cops; they get a badge and a gun and all of a sudden they're Dirty Harry. That reminds me, last night on my way home from work I saw that dirt-bag that works the speed trap on I-287. He was getting towed. I almost pissed myself. I'd like Mike to show up outside the houses of these two jackasses with a 60 Minutes camera crew. That was always my worst nightmare. That knock at the door and then, "Hello, I'm Mike Wallace. Can I ask you a few questions?" Might as well book that flight to Belize right now. But, I digress. When I got back to the office, checking my newsreader, I came across a post by Ernie the Attorney discussing former New York Times Executive Editor Harold Raines' opinion that blogs are nothing but "unsourced ranting." Yeah, from the guy that brought us the Jayson Blair fiasco. Go figure. Well, I finally left the office at about 7:30 pm and started bookin' up I-287 on the way home. I popped an Allman Brothers Band CD in the changer, something I hadn't listened to in a long time. There's just something about moving at high speed down the road listening to Southbound (even though I was northbound at the time). I drove into another bad storm with hail about the size of marbles and finally made it home, eating a late dinner and then sitting down to post these rambling thoughts of mine. Ah, Paxil free for 26 days now. That fog is finally starting to clear. File under Rants and Raves. 11:18:04 PM

	Wednesday, July 28, 2004

How About A Reality Check? According to this story, Intel's CEO wants an employee attitude check. I think that maybe some grossly over-compensated CEO's who are outsourcing our jobs to places like India need a reality check. Try living on what your employees make. File under Rants & Raves. 11:32:33 PM

	Wednesday, April 07, 2004

Sick and Tired I'm getting really tired of these stupid names we give our military operations. Why don't we come up with some interesting ones like Operation Brutal Vengeance, Operation Response All Out of Proportion, or Operation Overkill? The jug heads hit the city from every country round the globe The ships pulled in the drinks were free the ticker tape came out in rolls I was sitting in a bar watching this on TV To me it looked like a failure but they called it victory Well if you can sleep at night go ahead that's great You're just dreaming anyway if you don't get irate Come on turn it into hate Turn it into hate Send your little boys and girls to go and play in a giant sandbox Put your movie stars on the cover of People  for goin' in for a detox Let your happy-face news readers share a little joke at the end of the night's transmission Let's see the world through the eyes of some clown gonna make all of your decisions Well if you can sleep at night go ahead that's great It's all been manufactured like the junk that's on your plate Come on turn it into hate Turn it into hate Some of them lead the marching band  suddenly they're war heroes Some of them fall in a foreign land Suddenly they're just zeroes Some of us go back to sleep Some of us learn to fear it There's a siren blowin' in your heart You just don't want to hear it Well if you can sleep at night go ahead that's all right Ah just don't start a fight with anyone rich and white Turn it into hate Turn it into hate Turn it, turn it, turn it, turn it Turn it into hate  --Graham Parker, Turn It Into Hate from the album Acid Bubblegum File under Rants and Raves. 8:43:22 AM

	Tuesday, March 23, 2004

Dark Days The Sun has a solar flare The Earth just tilted on its axis The demon lies in his lair And licks at the goddess Abraxas Volcanoes long long dormant Send up plumes of gas India and Pakistan Start talkin' trash In these dark days Let's walk to the nearest cliff Let's walk to the river There's been a seismic shift I felt the whole Earth quiver Let's hold the party we said We would always hold Me with their blood on my hands You with their gold In these dark days Your conscience is worthless here Go peddle it under the street lights The hubris of love you carry Is attracting a swarm of meat flies Brandish brandish your weapon babe Sharpen your sharpest knives If you're not the king or the queen You're just working for the hive In these dark days --Graham Parker, from the album Deepcut to Nowhere File under Rants and Raves. 12:30:55 AM