Surrounded by a dense thick invisible fog, she struggles to reach forward stuck a mid stretch, her hands clawing, pushing, grappling for substance, something to bring her back to the heavenly touch of the boy with the shoes. The overwhelming rush of being pushed down, pushed back further into the abysmal mist, swimming against the unseen torrent, the flood of all the responsiblities. Its too much, too many things at once throwing her in a deep state of panic. Feeling the pull of too many arms grasping her, wanting, needing it all now, now, not tommorrow, now, pulling her down down the rabbit hole. And not knowing what awaits on the other end, who waits on the other end, if she struggles, she will fail. So overwhelming, unable to climb out and yet through the fog she can see the passion but unable to touch with what her heart desires. Its twisting around her, changing her course, changing directions, pulling her down, down to the very depths of her soul. Releasing her burdens one step at a time. Release. Climb slowly up. Breathe. Cry. Do one thing at a time until she can climb out of this fog. Make a list and stop the struggle to control it all.

10:42:52 PM    comment [] trackback []

CrazyBlindDate Update
I met this awesome guy on crazyblinddate who has shoes, we didn't really get a chance to hang out that long because the bar closed down at midnight and of course I was having a meltdown with a server and backup and he was so sweet, his listen to me rant about it. We talked via IM and the phone a couple of times and I'd like to see him again, I think we probably have a lot in common, I could be wrong but I got a good vibe from him, more than friends kind of vibe.  Check out this - too funny: http://tigerpr0n.com/2008/08/27/kaboom/ (oh yea, he blogs).  Although I'm not sure if he's completely single or what his deal is after reading his blog, but I totally understand what he is saying about a relationship being a non-relationship or wherever its going, finding someone that you completely trust is essential.  And maybe this awesome person I just met that has shoes, is just meant to be a friend because we both seem to be in that path of non-relationship with people who don't even know what they want. Life is journey and when we relax and just let it happen, it leads us to the the people who get us better than we realize, then again time will tell.

Funny text messages
"I have blue jeans in my nose"  Had me laughing so hard, tears were rolling down my face and how does one respond to that anyways? 

11:59:44 PM    comment [] trackback []

what did someone tell me..oh yea, the highlight of her day was bouncing on a bouncy ball.

You know the highlight of my day, opening the mail and realizing they took my economic stimulus check against my tax bill

6:49:17 PM    comment [] trackback []

avoiding working or trying to catch up on thoughts, catching up on thoughts sounds better.

UPS - The other day I went to the UPS store to sent out a package, I have a UPS account and usually I just drop off packages for the UPS driver to pick up, normally I go to the one in Concord - much nicer people but I was in Pleasant Hill and needed a box too for a package, I had the label all printed out, just needed a box - I was paying for the box but the guy was all snotty about if I had used his store for the label and packaging - I would be helping to promote small businesses in the area. I tried to tell him, I was a small business too and I was helping both of us out by getting the box from him and using my resources for my business. WTF? He didn't seem to care he was pissing off a small business who will never use his store again to drop off packages and/or buy boxes from again.

AIG - why the hell are we bailing out a business? - is that what my tax dollars are paying for? What about healthcare or education? And exactly what kind of accounting is going on there if they didn't realize they were in trouble when they started donating thousands of dollars to political campaigns, why do McCain and Obama need their money anyways? What happened to the concept of campaigning based on their beliefs, is it all about the money now? AIG's logo is "The Strength to Be There" too funny.  But still why the hell are we bailing out a business like AIG - aren't they insurance carriers? Why are they sooo important to the government. I agree someone should regulate all these huge businesses going under but I thought that was why everything had to be Sarbanes Oxley compliant now since all those other big businesses went under, oh, I just read in more detail what that meant - just how long records are kept and where, ok, so maybe another act needs to be put into place about accounting - like if you're getting close to have no money, stop buying and donating. I don't know specs but as a bookkeeper, I have to keep on the money for clients and let them know if they are going under or where to stop spending (not that they listen to me on the spending), so what the hell where AIG's accounting people doing?

State of California - how hard is it to figure out a budget? and what is with this notice I got, if I don't pay my income tax in full within 30 days of the notice, they will put a property lien on my house? What happened to payments? Oh yea, they need the money because they can't figure out a budget.

Exercise Ball as a seat - interesting concept. I have a bad back and my new doctor said I should sit on a exercise ball instead of a chair since i sit all day. Ok, so interesting concept except I can't get up, I'm stuck to the vinyl..lol

6:42:41 PM    comment [] trackback []

I've been playing with wordpress and a gallery feature for a client, anyways, more pictures can be found here for awhile

3:51:07 PM    comment [] trackback []

i just don't know even where to begin with this one - is it a found object? Is it a favor for a friend to pick up a purple shopping cart from the corner and stash it in my garage. Are we even friends? Wait, we'd have to be if I actually went and did this for him and how many people would do it for someone that isn't a friend? All I know at this point, is the purple shopping cart mission has been accomplished.

8:31:43 PM    comment [] trackback []

Its Red - finally got the right color I wanted, 3 years later, third time is charm

Losing weight

8:27:12 PM    comment [] trackback []
About me

a little pictorial of what's going on with the house remodel

~~~~~~~~~~~

the studio

~~~~~~~~~~~

the privacy screen for my patio area

~~~~~~~~~~~

cork flooring

~~~~~~~~~~~

master bedroom  - eww, the mold discovered
 

~~~~~~~~~~~

living room

~~~~~~~~~~~

the planters/cat tree

oops, didn't take pics yet

~~~~~~~~~~~

backyard lawn

~~~~~~~~~~~

new french drain

7:56:59 PM    comment [] trackback []
House

You are walking past a laptop where you can see the desktop icons if you happen to notice it. You have done nothing to disturb the laptop, it is just there.

Do you ?

1. Glance at it and mentally think wow that person is smart

2. Glance at it and think nothing of it

3. Don't even see it

4. Ignore it

I'm curious of what other people would do. Me I'll glance it. Doesn't really matter where I see it, I'll glance at it. Maybe curiousity killed the cat or just that I'm a computer person and I notice things like that. I don't feel like I'm prying into someone's life, its open, its there and I didn't touch, just a quick glance. You're thoughts?

5:06:41 PM    comment [] trackback []