I have this weird fear of nail guns, well maybe not nail guns themselves, I actually think that might be fun to play with, my fear is of the compressor that powers the nail gun because I don't know how they work and I'm afraid I might blow something up. What I need is someone to show me how they work in a very patience, I'm spacey sort of way. I think that I could probably get a hell of lot more accomplished if I had a nail gun/compressor sort of thing if only I knew how to use one.

Circular saws until recently - had a major fear of them but then I used one and way cool - I gotta get myself one. I completely understand now why battery operated things just isn't the way to go with power tools. When I was first starting to use tools - ryobi was the brand I bought and then I keep having to borrow friends more powerful tools. What I need is someone to show me what to buy, home depot guys suck.

Ick, I just found a worm crawling on my back..ewww..crisis over, its back outside where it belongs.

Back to the subject of home depot and they suck, I bought Traffic Master Dimensions Brazilian Cherry laminate flooring from them a year ago - their brand and now its discontinued - maybe one or two boxes in stock through the bay area. Now I have to figure out how to match what's in my living room vs the rest of the house that I wanted to install this month. So far, the sample I found, no good, wrong color, now what do I do? I go somewhere else besides home depot and see what works, maybe I can find some cork flooring that will match, wonder how cork would work in an office? Guess i know what I'm doing tommorrow...after i finish my other project that got too dark to see tonight.

9:54:55 PM    comment [] trackback []

Alf - Old Time Rock n Roll

1:29:51 AM    comment [] trackback []

so i guess i talk about my work too often - I don't think I'm obsessed with it neccessarily but maybe I vent about it too often so instead of keeping my rants/vents about my job on my main page - I'll stick it in another category and discuss other things, there is so much more to me than me venting about my work like the fact that I hate flies, I hate them with a passion and why does this one fly keep following me around - why doesn't it just die? Spiders don't bug me as long as they don't crawl on me or bite me - if they keep in their own corner, so be it. Flies on the other hand - annoying pests.

11:51:51 PM    comment [] trackback []

I keep thinking if maybe I get some sleep or get one of these project just done and out of my house, I'll feel like I'm more in control of everything and yet everytime I get one thing done, I remember something else I was suppose to do. Its like a never ending cycle and while I thought I had some help - it doesn't help when opening mail ends up being a complicated task, mixing all my different insurance policies and bills together doesn't help me, it means more work for me to unsort the stapled mess which makes for a very cranky annoyed girl. Maybe this whole having some work for me just aint my cup of tea, it helps a little but overall - I'm not sure.

And why the hell can't people pay on time? I'm not made of money here - I carry these projects and the people and supplies, I need to get paid when I give you the bill, not when you feel like it.

And why is Quickbooks Sales Tax concept so complicated - why doesn't it work right?

So I thought I'd check out NPR - don't ask but I never really got it, I guess I thought it was only news and that usually so depressing but now I get it - everything sort of all in one and I found some great music tonight, here's a couple of links, click on them, be surprise to what comes up

Sebadoh: On Love's Collapse, 'Soul and Fire'

James Blackshaw: Celebration In A Minor Key

And guys - WTF? seriously if you were interested enough to suggest cuddling on the couch, watching a movie, getting to know each other, WTF happened when I said come on over? You know cuddling would be nice, touching would be nice and maybe that's what I need more than sleep. We don't neccessarily have to have everything in common, choose a movie, I might like it, give me a chance. I won't keep trying to make a connection, you were interested first, make a move.

You know sometimes its overwhelming hard to be the adult, the one that makes all the decisions, pays all the bills and the employees and never gets a chance to just sit back and just be a kid.

On a lighter note, thought maybe you might enjoy - I agree with the artist:

http://xkcd.com/150/

http://xkcd.com/55/ - my efforts/normal approach seem useless lately too - any ideas?

1:03:23 AM    comment [] trackback []

I've been reading this book called Mind Wide Open and its interesting, I'll admit, a little hard to follow at some points and then again I'm reading before I go to bed, when I'm exhausted and my brain is shutting down from too much input during the day and I'm only on chapter one but so far the section on mind-reading that part of our nature and that some of us are great at it - picking up subtle intonational shifts and adjusting their response accordingly and some of us, always second guess ourselves or interrogate our conversational partners - I might fall into that latter category but not consciously, I used to be better at reading other people but so much gets in the way of just listening to the wind or the patterns between us.  And now I get it, the mind reading part - needed to verbalize that thought out there, makes sense now. Need to stop and just listen.

And the part about that we all have internal monologues going on in our heads, we construct working hypotheses of what is going on other people's heads - its kind of like people watching and listening to their patterns to read another person, constructing stories about other people - I think?

As I'm reading, I'll probably give some more thoughts on the book - kind of helps me understand it more if I write about it

10:18:03 AM    comment [] trackback []

first I need a cigarette and some oreos both of which demand a trip to the store and then I'll be right back with many thoughts since I'm back to avoiding work which I can't avoid for too long tonight since I've gotta get it all done asap but first the trip to the store..brb

I hate thinking of titles to these posts, i never know what to call them, so as to borrow from my mom who should write that book - I think that would be awesome, this one is called the ripple effect because its all in my head

so I was thinking exactly how would my client know if I was working in the office or at home? Its not like they're around in the middle of the night when I'm working and I'm sooooo unproductive working in that hot little sauna box at the office, I know they built an office for me but seriously some ventilation would have been nice..with all those lamps turned on for light, its gets way too hot in there. I'll admit it, I'm unproductive in the office. I get so much more work done at my house, which is probably why working at a corporate job just aint for me, its the cubicle syndrome - I can't do it anymore, I just can't.

too much in my head these days and boys - I don't get them, I really just don't get them at all.

and are my assistants helping me or hindering me? I think they help but I'm not sure how 2 hours per day is really helpful, I want to get this big project done and short of just taking over and doing it myself - I don't exactly know how its going to get done. I do realize that the first person I hired to help was an idiot and I lost $$ because of her but my mistake, I know better now and the new one is doing a great job when she's here. I guess I'd like to have them here a little more often or 2-3 days a week for 4 hours each instead of sporadically for 1-2 hours. I need to figure out whether its helping or not and find the solution - it not like they can read my mind..

there's more in my head but my back is out and sitting for long periods of time is killing me...so off to bed to rest some more and to start all over again in a few hours..sunday is crunch time - try to get it all done before monday morning rolls around..yikes, so much to do, so little time...remember do one thing at a time and it will all get done and remember to play too.

7:15:20 PM    comment [] trackback []