Sexy Magick

Tuesday, March 30, 2004

the warm and fuzzies of Chris Magazine New blog out there....Chris Magazine...he's a sweetheart and might have something interesting to say once he stops thinking about what he's writing..but as he retreats to the internet in search of warm...so comforting....it's like a blanket fuzzies 11:50:18 PM    comment [] trackback [] i was used and spit back out and it hurts today was hard..i had a hard time getting up today and getting motivated. i cried alot today which i guess was good to get it out of my system. i was given a taste of my dream job, it encompassed all my skills into one, only to have it ripped away by some man with his own agenda. i was used and then spit back out and not only does it hurt but i wonder why me? what did i do to deserve this? i was lied to in the last month at that company and i hate liers, i don't forgive people who lie to me. So today I took some action, i was given a really nice duffel bag by the gunnebo group (as was everyone else in the company) for making last year great...i returned it today. It was mine to keep but I didn't want it, i don't want anything to do with a company that used me and then lied to me. I don't want anything to do with people who treat other people like they are nothing. another part of my life today i think is ending, someone I thought was a friend, has completely disappeared when things got too tough to deal with, when it takes too much effort to be there for each other and it hurts because i feel that i was again used and spit back out. it took me awhile today, but i did get up, get dressed, looked for a job and left the apt..its like i took 2 steps forward six months ago and 3 steps back this month. Next time I'll find how many people have been in my position before me and why there is an opening. 6:55:37 PM    comment [] trackback []

Monday, March 29, 2004

back, have internet access but depressed I'm back..and have internet access again..all my stuff is at the new place but i'm still partially in boxes..my kitties are all accounted for..i now have 5 indoor kitties 90% of the time..let me tell you, that was interesting moving them here...5 cats in carriers in the car at the same time..next time renting a van to move them all at the same time...also next time, hiring movers to do the job..my friend, de, was a total sweetheart helping me move....but still hiring people next time... i'm really depressed don't feel much like doing anything lately..i woke up this morning crying..i'm not sure what triggered it and i'm not even sure what i was dreaming about..... i've been here a week and don't like it, i miss pleasant hill. i miss my home. i lived in the same place for over 7 years and this feels so weird being here in this ultra conservative too quiet place..this complex is huge but no one talks to anyone and i hardly ever seen anyone. this community is huge but i never see any people..its like i moved into the twilight zone of the stepford community or something...and the only reason it can be called a condo is because it has washer/dryer hookups...but its technically an apartment which I don't like..i've been living in houses for the last 10 years.....my cats aren't too thrilled about it either..too many noises from above.... this seemed like a good idea when i had a job close by but now its seems so far away from my friends..and my life... so i have goals to get out of here and back to pleasant hill or somewhere i like within the year...i have a year lease here and a year lease thing with sbc dsl...so new goals are to 1) GET A JOB!!! ok that in itself is a must by May 20th..and then I've run out of money...number 2) pay off all credit card debt 3) refiance the car 4) buy a house somewhere near non-conversative people.. :) more updates later about the new place and where my heads is at...its been hard without being able to talk about problems this last week... 9:11:38 PM    comment [] trackback []

Saturday, March 20, 2004

today's the day..i'm moving to glen cove having my last morning coffee in this place, this afternoon awaits a new home..a new home without internet access for a week and half.. i'm worried about my cats and the new place..they have been attached to me like glue the last few days as I pack up the house... i still haven't finished packing and my lone help will be here in a few hours..i need to pack up this computer, pack the remaining books (books and more books and more books - i seen to have alot of books) i almost forgot to rent the u-haul yesterday as I had so much to do...but thank god, I got one for this afternoon.. I'll miss my neighbor and this little house but I think change is good..time for me to expand..i've completely outgrown this little studio cottage, time to have a real place with a real kitchen and a separate bedroom and living room. i'll be back blogging in a week or so..i'll probably have lots to say.. back to the packing, the last dishes to wash and the last load of laundry (i sold my washer and dryer to my neighbor next door..thank god..i now buy the cat door for the sliding glass door) 9:52:23 AM    comment [] trackback []

Sunday, March 14, 2004

Moving.... i need boxes..I've only packed up two bookcases and my shoes and the stuffed animals, my files and am running out of boxes and I'm moving on Saturday..i'm so far behind..things still left to do: pack and pack and pack waiting on money then need to get carriers for the cats call pge and hope to god I don't have a huge deposit to pay call comcast and hope and pray they have internet in glencove and then I can just transfer my service there get cable tv hooked up (I haven't had to pay for it before) cancel the phone service - I only need one phone so cell phone from now on call the garbage service and cancel it here get address changed contact all creditors and get addressed changed move (and hope that de doesn't flake on me and actually shows up to help me move - I can move everything myself except the table, the couch, the fridge and the bed) rent a uhaul did i forget anything?? oh yea, finish all the little repairs to this house and clean so my landlord will give me back my deposit - i'm doing it all that after i move out. I'm missing something..7 years of stuff accumlated and has to be packed up..i'm freaking a little.. 11:09:33 PM    comment [] trackback [] Stuff for Sell I'm selling stuff...so here's the list...I'm posting on craigslist tomorrow but thought I'd give you guys first pick.. Compact Countertop Dishwasher - its perfect for an apartment or studio and/or a single person. Its cute, it sits on the countertop and has a long cord to connect to the faucet. It works great, beats handwashing. It holds 3 place settings, 6 glasses, a saucepan or a couple of bowls and silverware. Its only a couple of years old and I bought it for $250.00, asking $100.00. (u pick up) picture 1 and picture 2  Hotpoint Washer and Dryer (extra large loads) - I need a washer/dryer upright unit instead of stand alone units. They are only a few years old and work great. I bought them for $400.00 a piece and am asking $300.00 for both or best offer. Or trade for a washer/dryer combo unit. (u pick up) Couch - have no idea how old but its in the garage and left by previous tenants, you pick up and its yours and its comfy. Two Leather Jackets - Size 5 and Size 38 - asking $50.00 each.. 10:39:38 PM    comment [] trackback [] Soul Redemption If you haven't seen Soul Redemption, you should check them out. They are really good..kind of a southern rock flair to the sound but they are good. I love the song Old Eyes and Hideaway. Jake sounds great although he cut his hair..different but still looks good. Chris looks like a suburban father not a lead guitarist. The drummer - missed his name but he looks like a drummer of a southern rock band. Joey not what I would have pictured for a lead singer but he's got an awesome voice.  Larry, the other guitarist, great voice and then there's Gerry on keyboards. They are an odd mixture of talent/looks but they sound great! 2:09:22 AM    comment [] trackback []

Wednesday, March 10, 2004

Posted updated resume Posted my new updated resume..hopefully someone will see it and think "oh my god, we've gotta have this person" Brief summary: I have worked with many software packages, pieces of equipment and personalities of people.  I am able to look through the service of what is presented to obtain the goal of what needs to be accomplished.  I have a strong work ethic and enjoy challenges of systemizing systems. Network/IT Administrator with experience in Windows/Exchange 2000 migration and desktop support for Windows NT, 2000 and XP. Senior Operations Project Manager responsible for conducting cost analysis and reviewing, analyzing and evaluating business system and user needs for cost effective business strategies 2:52:17 PM    comment [] trackback [] what the hell happened? Did I miss something? I thought that people at that company which I no longer work at were nice people but apparently I guess they have been instructed not to talk to me which I really wonder why? What the hell happened? Today I'm pissed off. I can't seem to find anything, I know its only been two days now but it hurts. What did I do wrong? Why would someone hate me that much to not give me a chance? and I want my final check now!!! not next week. My termination letter says "leave of abscene with pay terminated on 03/19/04" but shouldn't i still get my final check now? I guess I'm a social creature that likes to be around people and likes to work. I dedicated myself to that job, working all the time and it didn't get me anywhere or anything. What I don't understand is why I was terminated?  They said because of my performance during the year end audit - do they realize that I didn't even work there during the period of the damn audit - how could I be at fault for something I had no control over? It took a little while but now I'm hurt and pissed off. I wish i had someone to talk to, someone to hold me just for a little while, i wish some of the people I thought were new friends would acknowledge me, but I guess I now know who my friends are and who isn't. 2:49:16 PM    comment [] trackback []

Tuesday, March 09, 2004

and the Good News.... i found a place to live - it doubles my current rent but its got a gorgeous water view and its a 1 bedroom condo instead of a little studio cottage and I'll have a normal size kitchen and living room and bedroom and they like animals. 9:22:06 PM    comment [] trackback [] Where does one draw the line on sexual misconduct? What is sexual misconduct? I said I was angry about something that happened today in reference to me. A friend of mine was told that he was being let go because of sexual misconduct with me.  Now from what I understand about sexual misconduct is when there is an (1) an unwilling participant (2) usually an assault of some kind (3) someone is underage - another defintion is "a professional in a position of power, authority, or trust can take advantage of us in ways we may have never imagined possible." If two people are seeing each other outside the office and aren't employees of the same company, then where is the sexual misconduct? I'm angry because if you're going to reference me, you'd better say it to my face. What I do on my own free time outside the office, is my business period. If I want to see a friend after work, then its my business not the company's.  I just don't see what they are talking about and it pisses me off.  I've seen other people in that company kissing each other, girlfriends, wives, boyfriends who work in the office, people kissing - is that sexual misconduct? I've seen people flirting with one another - is that sexual misconduct? Where does one draw the line? Does one draw the line on sexual misconduct with the accuser -  someone that happens to think they see something? The busy-body that thinks she saw something? I mean really if you're going to accuse someone of something and then reference someone else in that accusation, then you might want to get your facts straight and make sure you have never kissed your boyfriend in the office. You might also want to make sure that there is sexual misconduct going on..what if and I'm just saying what if (1) both people are willing participants (2) there is no assault going on (3) both people are consenting adults (4) no one has power over the other - then is it sexual misconduct because the two people work together and happen to see each other outside the office? And if one of your co-workers keeps kissing you on the cheek at a company party because he's drunk could that be considered sexual misconduct?  I mean really where does one draw the line? What about the person that invades your space constantly, could that be considered sexual misconduct? Shouldn't one ask the person they think is being sexually misconduct if they are before accusing someone else of it? I'm ranting but it pissed me off and maybe its a good thing because I haven't had anything good to blog about in a while. I guess in the end, instead of coming up with something that isn't true, why didn't they tell my friend they didn't need his professional services anymore instead of finding something that wasn't true to use and implicating me in it. 9:19:30 PM    comment [] trackback [] The bad news.. I lost my job today. I think I knew it was coming and I'm pretty sure the new president had been planning it for quite some time. I'm also sure that I was setup for failure from the moment I walked in that door..I would never get anything right no matter what I did and I just gave up towards the end. The new president didn't like me from the moment he started - we definetly clashed in personalities and he defintely wanted to bring his own people into the company...that was getting clearer and clearer everyday. I don't like to conform to some else's standards or viewpoints on life..I'm my own person and have my own way of seeing the world and doing things..kinda of like this blog..because normally people wouldn't share this kinda of thing with the web..but that's not me what I got was great experience being a corporate controller and a corporate IT manager for the last 5 and 1/2 months and worked with some great people. what I don't like is the way they told people not to talk to me and wouldn't let me say goodbye to anyone...i really like alot of people there and there are a few I really don't like anymore. and another thing i don't like is the way they got rid of the IT guy I hired - I don't understand where they got their information (although I know the new pres reads this occasionally so feel free to comment) actually I'm quite angry about this and the references to me personally but I'll expand on that later. so what does this do for me..hmm..I'm moving in 2 weeks, my mom will loan me some money, my vacation pay should pay for the rest of the deposit and moving costs, my severance pay and last week of pay will pay for the rent for 2 months and hopefully unemployment and/or temp work will pay for the bills for a while and I'm back to getting all my prescriptions filled before my insurance runs out. anyone looking for a controller, project manager, cabler, technician, anything..??? I need a job. 8:50:12 PM    comment [] trackback []

Thursday, March 04, 2004

Popup Blockers?? Anyone know of a good popup blocker? I use a free one that came with yahoo but its doesn't block them all and lately comcast's extra popups are driving me nuts...so I was thinking of just getting one that stops them all...any ideas?? 8:01:05 AM    comment [] trackback [] Communicate from the Heart Clear and concise communication is freeing. Reflect upon what you think how you feel and what you want. Then, say, what you mean, mean what you say, and don't say it mean. 1:38:52 AM    comment [] trackback [] Quotes Serenity Listen closely: The signs of serenity are often more subtle than the symptoms of stress 1:36:36 AM    comment [] trackback [] Quotes Scabaret performing again... if you missed Scabaret the first time, here's your chance to see them back in action again... March 11-14, they'll be performing at Fearless in San Francisco Mission District... 1:34:53 AM    comment [] trackback []

Wednesday, March 03, 2004

I believe in the right to marry anyone you wish..whether gay or straight I wasn't going to get involved in the gay marriage political thing because I didn't really want to post anything political on this blog but I got into an argument with my mom about it. My mom who I thought would be more open about gay marriages because in general she is very open to alot of ideas and I never would have thought it would have caused an argument with her. I have a lot of gay friends and I think that they have every right in the world to marry their partner!! Its stupid that people think only a man and a woman have the right to get married. Its like saying only a white man and a white woman can get married. I'm not up on my history but when black men wanted to marry a white woman that was looked upon as a bad thing not so long ago (correct me if I'm wrong here). Who has the right to tell a person who they can love, or who they can marry? My mom asked me if I'd be ok with an 80 yr old man marrying an 8 year old girl..now that's sick and perverted and not even relevant to gay marriages but if that's the thinking of people..then we seriously have alot of work to do in changing the minds of people here and why would anyone think that two men or two women getting married is perverted? There are gay partnerships and that's not questioned as much as the gay marriage thing is..why? I believe if you are of legal age which is 18 in the US, then you should have the right to marry anyone that you want whether it be the same sex partner or a man if you're a woman. No one should have the right to tell me who I can love, who I can married or who I want to grow old with or who will make the decisions about my life if I get sick. Sign the petion opposing the federal marriage amendment which you can find on Distant Early Morning also.. i have more to say but am running late for work.. 8:55:41 AM    comment [] trackback [] what color is your inner dragon? A TAN Dragon Lies Beneath! My inner dragon is the true draconic magic-user. Deep down I am very wise, somewhat shy, and I have a rather short fuse. But don't worry, tans prefer to spend their time counting their enormous treasure, so pass quietly and you'll stay out of danger. Click the image to try the Inner Dragon Online Quiz for yourself. Thanks lisa.... 8:40:32 AM    comment [] trackback []

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