Sexy Magick

Saturday, June 25, 2005

We should have the right to make our own choices Something's wrong with this country when I have to order my birth control from Canada, teenagers in Texas must get their parental consent to have an abortion, pharmacists have the right to refuse filling birth control prescriptions based on moral issues and the Texas Board of Education defines that marriage is only allowed between a man and a woman..when did our country become a police state - who gives people the right? And the scary thing, alot of this is happening in Texas and that's where our president is from First is you don't want to fill prescriptions for people - why did you become a pharmacist? Go do something else that you're morals can handle. What's next, refusing to fill a prescription because you don't believe it will work? Second, if a kid was not telling her parents she was sexually active, what makes you think she wants to tell them she's having an abortion? What I don't get is why pro-life people think that refusing birth control prescription drugs or refusing abortion, helps the world, there are plenty of unwanted kids already. And why do they want to see a unwed pregnant teenage mothers - are these people going to adopt that unwanted kid? all the unwanted kids? We have enough people on welfare in this country without adding more to it by refusing abortions and refusing to fill prescriptions and the country's budget is never going to be stable if we keep adding to the number of people needing welfare by refusing them the option of getting birth control and/or having an abortion - its their choice, not the church or the government's choice. And the gay marriage thing - who in the hell has the right to tell me who I can love or not love? Where do those people get off thinking that its not right and that marriage is only defined to be between a man and a woman? Didn't we come to the free world in the first place to get away from oppression? To be able to make our own choices about the way we live, do they things we wanted to do without the church and the government telling us no. So why is it still not our choice to choose the way we want to live, why does the government and church still believe the can decide what is right and what is wrong for our bodies and can decide who we are suppose to love? 4:15:18 PM    comment [] trackback []

Friday, June 24, 2005

ARRGGGGGHHHH!!! apparently the copies of quickbooks and tigerpaw are sort of illegal since they're not registered in my name even though I've been using these copies for several years, creating databases, etc for clients, using them as test copies and damn when I start to add the payroll feature to Quickbooks - the discovery is that I need a legal registered license for my company, so not only do I need to buy Quickbooks for $254 then I need to buy the payroll feature for an additional $199 - the sales rep, told me I could buy Quickbooks for $399 from her...not, I'm an affliate of Quickbooks...so I clicked on my link, bought the software through my affilate program and hopefully I'll get a payment from the affilate program for the purchase. ARRGGGHHHH..getting legal is costing some moola *grin* 2:43:19 PM    comment [] trackback []

Sunday, June 19, 2005

Musical Meme I've been tagged by Rhye and since today is my day off from work..wahoo, one last thing that isn't so depressing to read, here's my share: Total Size of Music Files on My Computer: about 2 GB, probably over 500 songs, too many to count The Last CD I Bought Was: I have no idea, I stopped buying CDs when I realized I could just download the song I liked instead of buying the whole CD for one song. Although, I've been yearning to buy Kevin Kerns CD which I can't download Song Playing Right Now on my iFruit: I'm with Rhye, I have no idea what an iFruit is and I'm skipping the question too. Top five albums: hmmm, this is kind of hard, like I said, I stopped buying complete albums but I do have original vinyl records, do they count? I guess they would, I've kept them all these years and even bought an old antique record player so I could play them and after pulling them out, the top five: Best of BTO (Bach Turner Overdrive) Emerson Lake and Palmer Mozart Debussy Robin Trower - Passion Five Songs That Mean a Lot to Me (1 per artist): this is tricky, five songs that currently have meaning for me are: Figured You Out by Nickelback - I just love the part at the beginning, completely reminds me of David, something about the song, just brings him to mind. Late Goodbye by Poets of the Fall - reminds me of Ryan, I truly loved him but it will never be, even though in our heart of hearts we wanted it to be. Everytime I hear it, I want to cry. Ever after Theme by Enya - just completely mellow and enchanting, brings me into a spiritual place If Forever by Robin Trower - I haven't heard this song in years and heard it on the radio the other day, brought me back to a time in my life when I was completely in another space - bittersweet memories Become the Other (working title i assume)  - a friend of mine is composing music to a poem I wrote, I haven't heard it yet but I love his work and just in that essence, that's why it has meaning, even though I haven't heard it yet, its our talents together. Recent discoveries? John Bulter Trio, awesome sound and Marc Broussard, down home funk, I love the song Home. Then again OutKast - Hey Ya is a great song too, gets the blood pumping but I also love Dido and Engima and Moby - particulary the song, Southside with Gwen Stefani and Dave Matthews Band. Recent great gym music to keep me going - Rammenstein, Emimen, OutKast, Shocore. Who's next? lets gets some guys in on this Chris over at Chris Magazine, Chris over at 101-365(baby!) , Birdie at the Beauty Dish, I don't remember her name over at Are We There Yet? and Jaded Angel its time for bed, thanks Rhye for tagging me, found songs and albums I haven't heard in years 1:42:31 AM    comment [] trackback []

Saturday, June 18, 2005

happy dance, angry and cingular why buy ringtones when you can create your own from your mp3? long exhausting week, wednesday I received some great news, lets just say I'll be able to pay off all my credit card debt and put a down payment on a house soon..yay..happy dance, i was so hyper, couldn't relax, totally happy, almost like that feeling when you fall in love, completely ecstastic and then..... I got attitude from one of my clients which brought my next few days into an angry spiral, I was pissed, nothing was going right. You're probably wondering what caused the attitude, what exactly was said? Lets see, start at the first thing that happened was I brought my employee with me to help with some filing, I had mentioned to the client before hand that I was probably going to have her come with me and help with a couple of filing project and categorizing some photos and they said ok..so I thought it was ok. Apparently I was dead wrong, apparently ok means no in their world or means we must discuss the crap out of before agreeing.  They refuse to let anyone that works for me work on their accounting, ok I understand, but really do you think I'd hire someone I didn't trust? And then they wanted to know if I was billing for her time - of course, no she's a freebie for you and I have to still pay her, WTF, of course I'm billing for her time, if she wasn't doing it then I would have been doing it for the same amount of time and its not double billing because I was working on the accounting.  I was reminded that our contract specifically states that I would work a min of 21 hours and not work more than 26 hours per week for them, hell I didn't remember putting in that clause or agreeing to it, had to go back and read the agreement, yep its in there but I really don't like the way they re-stated it which means if I work 24 hours and my employee works 2 - then I hit the max allowed hours for the week, lets see what gets done because I will no longer be putting in more than 26 hours per week for them, not with that attitude. I can find other clients that will actually pay what I charge - they also refuse to pay what I charge other people because they were my first client and I understand giving them some sort of discount but really not as much as I'm giving them.....so this attitude I received really pissed me off... fast forward through Thursday - i was just tired, I got up early and made an effort to get to another client early in the AM, only got 4 hours of sleep and of course, he wasn't there...not his fault, just the way things go...... so off to San Mateo I go in search of my cell phone account rep who gave me great deals in the past, his girlfriend, my friend told him I was coming and he said he'd be there all day...an hour later, I finally arrive in San Mateo, to find he took the day off, I should have just walked right back out the door and left, but no since I was there I'd figure why not get a new phone and convert over to Cingular..what the hell, why not? Yes, I'm a former ATT customer...so this guy helps me, I get on a plan that is comparable somewhat to what I have, he hooks me up with the Motorola Razor V3 - telling me it has infrared capabilites, that its one of the better phones out there for the quality..blah blah blah..i'm hooked, ok I buy it $199.00 + $35.00 for the case and walk out of there, seemingly happy with my purchase.... it took me 4 fucking hours to get home (honestly I only live about 2 hours away), why? because when it rains in June, people lose half their brains? dead stop traffic all the way and I had to pee, really really pee by the 2nd hour into the drive home and I was hungry...so I pulled off the freeway, ran into a shell bathroom, OMG, almost didn't make it, I had to pee so bad...now you're probably laughing your head off at this point....so lets fast forward to Friday morning...tech support with Cingular, the moron at the San Mateo store didn't activate my voicemail or my medianet account and the Motorola Razor does not, I repeat, does not have infrared capabilities, you ask why is this important - hell I wanted my phone numbers and images off my old phone and for the life of me, even with tech support helping me, we could not figure out how to download a ringtone to that phone and the phone is not crystal clear, fuzzy and feedback when you talk on it. Cingular tech support and/or customer service really seriously need to review the phones they sell so they can help people. The Motorola Razor has this feature called SYNC - not one person knew what that meant or how it was suppose to be used...now what at this point had me pissed off, I was so angry I was shaking and about to cry, was that my phone wasn't even activated til I call customer service, the moron in San Mateo didn't activate it, ITS MY BUSINESS PHONE!!! So I'm asking Customer Service about the phone and telling him its not what I needed or wanted, he told me to go to a cingular store and trade it in, that cingular has a buyer's remorse program that you can trade it in or get your money back within 30 days...ok thank god, so I ask him which one would have the feature I need..he doesn't know - WTF? Shouldn't Customer Service be able to answer that question? He told me to look on their site and research it myself... ....so I did, I missed my gym appt with my personal trainer..started researching for phone on Cingular's site and found two I that would work for what I needed in a business phone without having to buy a palm treo and only $50.00 more...so off I go in search of the phone (either an Audiovox SMT5600 Smartphone or a Sony Ericsson S710), I went to the Vallejo Cingular Wireless Store...yep, they pissed me off too.... apparently, they don't care high end phones because they assume that most of their customer will be low end consumers, so note here - if you want a high end cell phone, don't shop in Vallejo because they won't have it. They couldn't help me locate it and wouldn't call another store for me or even let me call customer service from their store, so I got use my Motorola Razor, call Customer Service and finally I got someone helpful, I told him what happened and what I needed and he asked me to hold while he called a few stores to find someone that had one in stock in the area.....he found an Audiovox in stock at the Richmond Hilltop Mall Store....off I go to Richmond, its on the way to work....at this point, I'm only running 30 minutes late.... at the Richmond Store...the sales guy had a I don't care attitude but hell if he had the Audiovox in stock, I wanted to look at it..he seemed to get a little pissy when I ask him if had one that was charged so I could check it out, hell I wasn't buying it if I couldn't see how it worked, did he think I was that going to be that stupid again? He got a charged battery, let me check it out, explained to me how it worked, the Smartphone is cool. I asked him about the SYNC on the Razor and he told me it was Microsoft Program that synced the phone to the computer and outlook that you had to buy separate but it came with the Smartphone. Ok, I liked the way the Smartphone worked, I went for it, traded in the Razor and the case and only pay an additional $25.00 for the Smartphone. It turns out this guy was an ATT Sales Rep before, which might explain why he knew the products better.....ok, the day was getting better..... and I was late for the office and then damn I hit traffic again, took me an hour to get into the city from 25 minutes away and why? maybe cuz the sun was shining and it confused people, hell I don't know why.. I was still pissed about the attitude my client gave me...but I buried and set to work..worked till midnight last night and left myself a note to do some things Monday because I hit my 26 hours quota for the week..they go through my stuff when I'm not there, so I'm sure they'll see the note to self. ....today is a happy dance day...finally got to the gym, didn't work, checked out a house for sale (omg, i can finally really look for my own home),  beamed all of my contacts and images from old phone to new smartphone, sync'd my contacts with my outlook and figured out, I don't need to buy graphics or ringtones from Cingular because the smartphone allows you to use your own MP3's and Wave Files for Ringtones and you're own pictures - how cool is that? 8:53:30 PM    comment [] trackback []

Wednesday, June 15, 2005

nerd score and webcam research I was trying to figure out how to add a webcam to a blog and I came across this blog and then found this: and if that isn't bad, this source for webcam on blogs is complicated, there has to be a much easier way to add the webcam images to your blog.. 11:51:15 AM    comment [] trackback []

Tuesday, June 14, 2005

Strongly Recommended Macros apparently there are macros in Radio Userland that are strongly recommended that you use but not neccessary such as the title macro, the url macro, interesting maybe that's why I don't get that many referrers hits from other blogs..testing on my site first, then off to fix the beauty dish    few changes to Beauty Dish theme - then to recreate the fttb file and re-send to Birdie who has been incredibly patience with the fixes, think i fixed all the other fixes in the theme, also. couple of more tweaks..this time, I think its really really done!!! test 1 - go back to my theme test 2 - reapply finished beauty dish theme test 3 - put my theme back cuz the beauty dish theme is really really done!!!! 9:59:13 AM    comment [] trackback [] Designs

Monday, June 13, 2005

re-testing beautydish design re-testing the design, some slight problems on the actual beautydish site workspace macro - deleted wonder why her permalinks didn't work right - lets see if they work for me, for some reason Radio didn't pull all the info when creating the theme sent fixes 12:10:59 AM    comment [] trackback []

Sunday, June 12, 2005

the beauty dish theme is completed it works!!!!!!!!!!!!! the beauty dish theme is completed - now off to send birdie an email on how to download and apply the theme and put my theme back... oops just realized that she has a site description on her theme that she changes....put the macro back in before she gets the email 5:13:15 PM    comment [] trackback [] testing again ok new testing..lets see if I can get the navigator links to align left - well that was stupid, its in my prefs - http://127.0.0.1:5335/system/pages/prefs?page=2.6 finished tweaking the calendar - exactly the way i wanted it to look its done - now to put my theme back previous thoughts new theme design.  in the process of creating the beauty dish theme - no fear, sexymagick templates have been backed up and will re-appear soon...soon as I figure out the #template what the hell? why did that skew? putting my theme backup for a sec ok mine theme is all skewed now..what the hell happened? putting back all my templates - figure out one by one what just caused the problem, ok note to self - don't fuck with the day template whew, fixed the problem I think I've got the #template fixed after this is done and saved as a theme, I'm saving mine as a theme :) little more tweaking, my navigator links aren't aligning left..hmmm 3:36:17 PM    comment [] trackback [] the soul of a dreaming person She stands in the doorway looking out not really seeing but daydreaming pushing farther and farther into her imagination as the butterflies swim in the sky she rides the air into the night a whisper among the wind a light among the stars she dreams of awakened souls the energy bouncing lightly upon her skin sleepily she sits under the radiant moon dreaming of a time when they were one lifting her higher and higher into the midnight sky music dancing around playing sweet lullabys in her head like water falling on her glistening body nourishment of her soul she awakens to his touch hearing his soul reach out like butterflies swimming in the sky 12:35:12 AM    comment [] trackback [] Poetry

Saturday, June 11, 2005

look mom, i'm in the news so today I went to the bay area bloggers meetup hosted by KRON TV, not knowing a soul in the place, it was interesting to say the least, craig from craigslist was there and I met two people - Rachel and Scott from Fiat Lux - nice, cat people. There were about 100 or so bloggers there but I'm shy when it comes to meeting people especially when I have no idea who they are. And the dimmed lights in the stage area was killing my head, I couldn't focus - still having slight trouble seeing in a dark room after the laser surgery but back to the topic. I did finally talk to maddog from maddogblog, I've seen his blog before and found it interesting. The GM and President of KRON TV, Mark Antontis had some assumptions about bloggers based on what he knew from people on his team, that we were all very large people and looking around the room, most of the people were skinny. Another thing, after he did his speech and got the group photo and mingled for a few minutes, he left. It seems to me, if you're trying to get a handle on this "new media" as he called it, wouldn't you stick around longer? Maybe seek out the shy bloggers engage them in conversation? You know the shy ones, that become wallflowers at events like this, that are alone, stare off into space because they don't know anyone. And when he said they KRON TV is going to maintain a list of Bay Area Bloggers - ok cool, but doesn't someone already do that? I still can't quite figure out how they got my email address because the one they have isn't related to my blogs, its my personal website which my god, I completely forgot about until this moment and I don't use it for a blog anyways. I would have loved to meet Tweezerman and Rhye but alas they didn't come. Would I go again, probably not unless I was definetly sure that I was going to meet someone I wanted to meet And look mom, i'm in the news  9:59:00 PM    comment [] trackback []

Friday, June 10, 2005

reconnecting with me I had one of those weeks, you know those really really really long weeks that never seem to end until your body just says screw it, you've had enough. Its been that way for the last two weeks or so, i just got to a point where I felt drained beyond drained. I lost my center, my balance,  my magick and today I just wanted to sleep and sleep, I slept for about 20 hours today, I guess I needed it and I'm going back to sleep in a few minutes. I missed the beauty dish radio show deadline but definetly next time, I have a friend putting one of my poems to music - so maybe I'll share that next time on the beauty dish radio show :) As far as the finish theme for the beauty dish - its in my thoughts, I just need to find that creative balance again and I know with a little time for ME, it will re-appear soon hopefully Sunday, I can finish the idea. I have this client and she's got the classic control drama of an interrogator, nothing is ever right for her, when I first met her, I really liked her but lately nothing I seen to do is right - although she seems to like my employee which is great because that's where "T" is working. One of her accounts I've been working on, had some corruption in the data file but of course it seemed to be my fault not the data and I can't quite figure out why she questions everything I do and feeling drained and not center, I play right into her drama, feeding her my energy, draining myself even further but now that I recognize what is happening, it won't be happening anymore. I recognize that I need to find my energy center, my balance, my zen again and my magick, my energy will start to shine again. I need to be me and stop trying to do too much. I need to start exercising again and start the flow of magick back into my life. so...off to sleep, tomorrow, I'll work at my own pace and start to built my energy back up. Tommorrow night, I'm going to find a soft spot in the middle of my floor and just meditate and reconnect with myself and maybe see de. 11:54:10 PM    comment [] trackback []

Saturday, June 04, 2005

dream with the fishes dream with the fishes fly with butterflies make love in the rain lie in the sun stare at the sky take time for yourself just stop the chaos breathe and dream take a deep breath and dream with the fishes slight modification to the poem 8:05:58 PM    comment [] trackback [] Poetry

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