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Sexy Magick
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Tuesday, September 13, 2005
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I went out on a date and its wasn't that bad...actually it was nice. Since he reads this blog, maybe he'll comment. Anyways, I think when I'm nervous, I talk about everything under the sun and never ask questions..interesting that I noticed this about myself, I wonder if it appears that way to others?
Anyways...definetly a buddy vibe, I could see us hanging out and going hiking and things. Phil..sorry if I seemed like i cut the date short..my brain is so on needing to finish this work and get to bed..I have about 4 more hours of work then I get to sleep finally. Maybe when I get back from LA - we can go hiking, it would be nice to have a hiking buddy again :)
yea, I'll never see this guy again but its perfectly ok because at least I've started dating again and who knows either I'll meet some great guys that I could be friends with and maybe something more eventually. My first priority in my life is me and my business right now, if someone comes along and understands my chaotic scattered life, then my life will be even fuller. I'd love to find that perfect person that fits and someday I will.
8:30:00 PM 
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so someone sent me an email today requesting help with this post - how to change the desktop wysiwyg editor, honestly I think I must have been scattered or possessed myself when I wrote those newbie instructions, I left out half the instructions *smile*...so if anyone comes across a newbie tip and you're shaking your head because you've tried and tried and it still doesn't make sense, send me an email and I'll help you figure out my scattered thoughts..btw, thanks Pat for the email, I was wondering if I wrote down the instructions somewhere to fix that problem.
in other news today, i'm soooooooooo tired, I just got home and can't sleep til I get this invoice out. And what am I doing blogging, I realized I started working as soon as I sat down at the desk and thought, WAIT, first ME time and then work. I've already worked 10 hours today. Stop and relax for a few minutes then get back to work.
and I have a date tommorrow and seeing a friendly face hopefully on Wednesday and Chippendales on Thursday, the funk is lifting slightly.
12:31:18 AM
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Sunday, September 11, 2005
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alot has been going on in my life lately. I took one too many projects on board and have been so tired trying to finish both projects and kept satisfed clients. I was dating someone who I used to date and that recently ended - my heart broke into a million pieces again and I think, actually I know that I've been trying way too hard to connect with anyone, someone, to ease the pain and I know its when I'm not looking that someone great comes along. I did meet one person online that seems nice, he likes this blog, so he must be ok :) and I'd like to meet him in person sometime soon. I'm leaving for a week for a project in LA in a week and my client still hasn't sent me everything that needs to be accomplished before I meet them onsite. My mom was here recently and I made this cute little custom design baby outfit for my sister - my mom thought I found the smiley face off the internet - that hurt because its my design, I drew it and what hurt the most, it feels like she patronizes me about my art - maybe she doesn't but she did justifed the outfit to other people at the shower, that oh Julie is an artist - why can't she just realize I am an artist? I just wish my family wanted to know me better. But I digress, I have good and bad days now, some days, I feel so incredibly fucking lonely and then some days, are ok or maybe I'm just going through the motions of it being ok, my heart is still broken and sad. I joined match.com and eharmony - god, eharmony WTF was I thinking, every guy that has been my match looks like they dropped out of the 70s - come on, big glasses not in style, post a photo - I've been talking to this one guy and while he seems like a great guy, he didn't have this photo posted and I really really really should know better but when he sent me his picture, my first thought, no physcial attraction at all - shit, now what? now, I stop this nonsense, I refuse to settle for someone that does not satisfy my every need including sexual, chemistry, attraction, mental needs. I'm stopping match too - too much work and I've only gotten one wink and one email - not worth anyone's self-esteem to be included in a meat market. I know I'm sexy and I'm losing the weight and I like myself and what I'm accomplished and its time for ME! Time for me to follow my dreams and let the magick flow, remember to find the little things in life that make me happy. I would love to find someone to share that with but if I keep looking this hard, I'm never going to find it because it will pass me by and I won't even notice it.
Out of the funk, into the light, finding my happiness again - notes to self
- Step 1: Going to the Chippendales Show - what better way to get oneself out of the funk then to see many sexy, hot, muscular men dancing and stripping from the front row. If you want to go, buy a VIP ticket and meet me there next Thursday the 15th in SF (i'm taping survivor)
- Step 2: cancel all online dating crap
- Step 3: stop and smell the roses, leave the computer and go out, be in the world
- Step 4: keep losing this weight (besides my legs and arms are skinny now but the rest of my body is out of sync now) time to get serious, go get air in the mountain bike and start riding it as much as possible
- Step 5: just go with the flow, when the time is right, it will happen and remember just because he didn't want you doesn't mean no one will (its truly his loss, not yours)
- Step 6: when you are ready, a teacher will appear to help guide you.
2:43:03 AM
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Saturday, September 10, 2005
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Friday, September 09, 2005
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everyone needs to stop laying blame on each other and just help the people. At this point, who cares who messed up, why people were without food and water for days- basic survival items just help the people, the babies and the kids.
9:33:58 AM
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why make LCD flat screen monitors untouchable? What will happen if you touch one too much?
9:30:48 AM
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Wednesday, September 07, 2005
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WTF is up with Bush? Why are the troops still in Iraq when we have a national disaster here? I can't believe all those homes were flatten and gone. I know a couple of people in Mississippi and I hope they are ok. My heart goes out to all those people who have lost their homes. But I wonder why everyone has to leave if they don't want too. There are people that are still in the French Quarter where it isn't flooded and they are being forced to leave - why? I understand wanting to make sure everyone is ok but forcing people to leave that are trying to rebuild, that want to rebuild, that isn't right. If they want to stay and rough it, then they should have the right to stay.
And why the hell would the government let people be without food and water? How long can you survive without water? What about the babies? Doesn't the government care about them? I can't believe the government wasn't there right away, the news crews were, if the new crews can get in, why couldn't the government? All the people that died, omg. Its not like no one in the government didn't know that a hurricane was going to hit, someone had to tell them about it, don't they watch the news like the rest of us? They should have been prepared to go in the day it happened, get people out, even if the local government wasn't requesting help, why let people die stranded in their homes with the flood waters rising.
Just watching the news and seeing all those people sitting in the street, on the freeways, waiting and waiting, with no word about what was going on. I agree with Jake, drop flyers to those people, let them know what is going on.
Normally, I try to stay out of the political issues but really why was nothing done when it happened? Hurricane hit, levee broke, the area flooded but why were people left without food and water and information?
2:24:22 AM
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One of my clients & staff - they all wanted rubber band balls, so I was off to find the mysterious elusive rubber band ball. First I went to Staples, after the guy yelled it through the store, they told me they sell rubber bands by the bag and I could make my own - huh? I wanted rubber band balls not something I could make myself. I wanted colored rubber bands in a rubber band ball not the old boring plain rubber bands. So off to Office Depot, to hunt for this elusive creature. And there they were, they only had 5 left in stock, perfect, exactly how many I needed. This elusive creature, the rubber band ball, was found and to the delight of the staff, like kids in a candy store, they bounced their rubber bands and through them again the wall and they behave just like colored rubber band balls should, they bounced.
Now the question is how many rubber bands does it take to make a rubber band ball and is there a suprise in the middle?
2:02:28 AM
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