Julie Wiggins: Dating

so I like this guy, now what?

Mon, 30 Oct 2006 07:24:00 GMT

I like this guy and there was some flirting going on the other night, him leaning against me and me leaning against him, him talking in my ear, me leaning close to him to hear him, etc...but now what - was he really interested or was it just the atmosphere (we were all at a concert)? He works at one of my client's sites and honestly when I first met him, yeah, I thought he was cute and interesting but I dismissed the thought because he is so much younger than me and then the other night I thought, hell why not, if I'm attracted who cares how old he is and I know I'm definetly attracted to younger guys but now what? He did offer to help me figure out my ipod and my music is here at my house - so maybe that's the next step, invite him over to help with the ipod. And you're probably thinking to yourself - this is the person who helps with radio's complicated ins/outs why does she need help and yes, I could just read the instructions and figure it out but when a cute guy offers to help, I'll feign innocent because I like him and can't stop thinking about the other night, the vibe I was getting. Seriously, how do I know and what next? Sometimes I feel like a teenager all over again - does he like me?

Third Date with Its Just Lunch

Wed, 28 Jun 2006 08:40:17 GMT

The third date with Its Just Lunch setup - OMG, these people do not get me at all!!!!!! I think I'm actually paying about 200.00 per date to find great new places to eat rather than finding someone that I might be somewhat interested in having a conversation with let alone see again. And maybe I'm paying that much to constantly have to tell the people that work there where/how far cities are from one another in the Bay Area?

Today I walked into the restaurant and saw this guy sitting at the bar and I just knew it was him - do you ever wish you could just walk back out and pretend you didn't see him? I wanted to, honestly, I prayed that they wouldn't lead me over to him but of course they did. He looked like Vince Neil - no, not the cute Vince Neil of the 80s, the old Vince Neil now. The reason this guy has a baby face is not because he looks younger but because he's a little overweight and I'm not saying that I'm not but I also don't look my age and I don't sweat. And he doesn't want kids. He's not a music composer as I was told, he sells musical instruments and teaches guitar to kids. And oh, his hair didn't move - what is it with guys in their 40s that use hairspray?

Oh and this was the guy that they said was perfect for me. Who are they kidding - I don't think at this point the match maker has a clue.

Lets see to sum this up:

Booger Boy - he tried to sell the fact that he makes lots and lots of money and has a messed up cat with issues

Immature Boy - who likes to shoot cats with guns, gets up at 6am to watch sports and doesn't work

Old Vince Neil look alike - doesn't want kids, is way too old for me, hairspray and just not anyone I would normally walk up to and want to meet.

I think I might have better luck just walking down the street at this point or going back and dating the 20-30 age group again. As soon as this is over and I've gotten my 6 dates over with, I'm writing the corporate office.

The first date with Its Just for Lunch Match

Sun, 28 May 2006 21:51:43 GMT

First date with a Its Just Lunch match and they still don't get me at all. I'm not really into guys that wear izod shirts or loafers with their jeans. This guy was just odd, my sister thinks he's gay and just doesn't know it yet - she could be right. He talked and talked about his ex-girlfriend and how he got the cat in the breakup and the cat has abandonment issues because she got the cat in a breakup and previously the guy she was with got the cat in a breakup, no wonder the poor cat has abandonment issues - no one keeps him, just passed around like an old shirt between breakups. He told me about his job - boring, energy analysis manager and how he has his ivy league MBA - so didn't impress me at all. I really don't care about that stuff. Ooooo, the most awful part, the guy really needs to trim his nose hairs, ick. And he said he lied on the application - his hobbies - he likes to read sports stuff, he likes to watch sports movies and he likes to do sports. I mean come on really - anyone that knows me - I do not like sports, I don't read about sports, I don't go to sports events and I like sports movies if there is a romance or drama involved but in general, I not a sports fanatic. They told me he likes hiking, he told me not really.

And then I spend about 5 hours with my sister and brother-in-law and niece and got lectured about my habits and my exercise habits and eating habits and my hours, geez, I get lectured enough from my mom I don't need it from my sister and brother-in-law. My niece was cute though, she's adorable, its funny she has my eyes and hair. My sister and her husband kept telling me she looks like my baby pictures.

So Tuesday - I'm going back to Its Just for Lunch and meeting the director and telling her that the girl she is looking at is not the girl that she keeps matching up - I don't know who she is matching up with these dates but it ain't me.

he freaked again

Sun, 22 Jan 2006 11:27:41 GMT

I know I said the trials of dating series was probably ending but I have to add an update to date number 2 "r". Its been 3 years since I've last heard from him and he emailed - said one night, nothing more, nothing less..sure why the hell not, I thought he was yummy back then and damn, he got delicious, I was in a weird mood that night I emailed him back and said sure why the hell not..so over the course of 3 months we've been trying to hook up - between my schedule and his schedule that was hard and we almost almost made it and then he freaked again...geezzzzzzzzzz..you'd think I'd learn my lesson..

let me back up a sec here..we talked on the phone for a couple of hours one night and I remembered why I'd like this guy in the first place 3 odd years ago. We text messaged each other for a couple of days back and forth. We're alot alike and honestly nothing more, nothing less - although definetly more than one night. He let me get another little glimpse into his life and who he is and then BAM, he stopped writing back, stopped communicating...

and I'm back to my original theory: (1) he either got freaked out again (2)he only wanted to get laid which is what he was going to get (3)he is still a jerk. Maybe he'll comment again and tell me which one it is this time.

Then again, maybe I'll just hear from him again 3 years from now.....oooo, maybe he'll get more yummy...

what i don't get is why does he freak? seriously he's missing out here, get to know me, I might be someone he'd like, we seem to like the same things

relax, let the magick happen and dating

Tue, 06 Dec 2005 02:20:56 GMT

I've learned quite a few things about myself through this last date, some days I wish I could rewind and start over and yet I guess I wouldn't have learned these new things about myself

I talk way too much on the first date and if I really like someone its because I'm nervous and now I will learn to shut up and listen.

conventional - I am not and if you're not interested at least have the guts to say you're not instead of ignoring emails and phone calls. I will never follow conventional rules of anything including so-called dating protocols and while it might seem that I'm manic or weird, I'll keep writing emails til I get a response. I question everything and I can't just let something go because I'm always left wondering what if - so if there is no what ifs - tell me straight and then I can let it go.

so in passing, he wasn't interested, good to know. hope his life turns out the way he wants and he finds the right person that wants whatever it is he wants and likes him for who he is and not the image of a guitarist and likes his music. I think he's losing out here but that's just my opinion.

and while I think dating has its points, I'm not forever into being on match so I can just get a date for Friday night, well, one I usually work late on Friday nights but the point is, I'm looking for something more. I am looking for what all my friends have, that relationship that makes me giddy just thinking about him, that relationship that will last.

I'm trying way to hard to find that person, I need to relax and let magick happen.

felt like a jerk

Sat, 03 Dec 2005 23:26:47 GMT

**update* moving this to the dating category - actually I don't want it on my home page and its a lesson learned in the world of dating, plus I realized a few things:

why didn't he call to see if I was ok?

so in passing, he wasn't interested, good to know. hope his life turns out the way he wants and he finds the right person that wants whatever it is he wants.

the original message to H

how to convey what I'm feeling inside, I am so pissed off at myself right now, i feel soooooooooo bad inside.

I was to meet "h" last night at 7:30 at the Muddy Waters. I left my client's site at 7pm which is plenty of time or so I thought to get to from downtown to mission/castro area but I couldn't find parking for almost an hour and when I finally did, it took me 15mins to walk to Muddy Waters and he was gone. I was so frustrated looking for a spot, I might have missed a couple. I got turned around trying to find one and keep my bearings about where I was and then ended up parking in a place I could probably get a ticket and with my luck last night, i figured I would.

I sent him two emails and left a message saying I was sorry. It is so not like me. I always show up, I admit, I'm always late but never that late. I guess its up to him to give me another chance. I still would really really really like to see him again and I hope he understands and gives me a second chance.

but I don't know how to convey how fucking sorry I am and that in the pit of my stomach, I feel so incredibly bad about last night because I feel like the biggest jerk and things happen and I just could not find a parking spot. Wouldn't you know as soon as I walked back to my car and headed back to work, there was so many spots available right by the coffee shop

my mom reminded me of one night i was suppose to be at a family dinner thing and I left the house an hour and half before I had to be in the city, it was raining that night and there were 3 accidents on 80 on the way to the restaurant and then I couldn't find this obscure restaurant and by the time I got there - 2 hours later, they had already ordered their food. I felt bad then but not as bad as I feel right now.

so H - if you're reading this, call me because I'd really like to see you again.

love is a magical thing

Fri, 04 Jun 2004 08:42:16 GMT

love has no perspective on time, place, age or location. love can be tricky especially since he lives in Kansas and I live here. those daily messages just to say hi, just to check in with each other, its so sweet. we have talked via webcam and IMs and we have talked on the phone. and he is coming out here sometime this summer to visit - at first I think it was to see if this is really real but as we have talked and gotta to know each other, its real, I've fallen in love with him and him me. He has sent me cards via the internet that make me want to cry because they were so sweet. He likes me just the way I am. And I like him just the way he is except I want him here instead of there. I was hoping for some roses on my birthday but I got this cute little card that reminded of him completely. There are days were I have this overwhelming desire to kiss him and wish I could go there but I know that this love is true and eventually we will be together. He doesn't like talking on the phone but he's getting better and he could call me too when he wants to talk. I want to feel his arms around me and hold his hand and kiss him..i'm in love.

i choose between the two guys

Mon, 16 Feb 2004 02:02:53 GMT

I guess i choose between the two guys.....i've been seeing df for a few weeks now..i really really like him, i like the way he makes me feel...i guess I choose between the two guys flirting with me. I went out with mj and i could see us being great friends but nothing more which is probably a good thing since we work together. DF and I work together but he's not in the office full time and he's not an employee either. Something about him turns me on - actually I know what it is but i can't share that here..my mom reads this blog and so does my boss - I've been thinking about getting a tattoo along my spine..i love the way df and de both kiss my back along my spine..just a little taste of what I like about him and what I liked about de.. maybe a rose vine along my back..something that ties in with the current tattoos..

deepbluesecret

Mon, 16 Feb 2004 00:35:54 GMT

i was in a valentine's blue mood yesterday, i want to have the flowers and the romance of valentine's day and the last person I expected to hear from was DE wishing me a happy valentine's day..it was cute and adorable and everything i needed to hear to snap me out of my mood. I miss talking to him about everyday things and we cleared the air on some issues..it was great hearing from him again and maybe we'll get together soon and hang out..he made me smile again and pulled me out of my funk..thanks deepblue...

the distraction....

Fri, 06 Feb 2004 05:45:03 GMT

..........but it was so hard pretending that there was nothing else going on besides work between us..at least it was for me..especially since i really wanted to kiss him..and yes, if he had kissed me..i wouldn't have stopped him

and trying to decide who gets what computers and where they are going with him standing that close to me....honestly I didn't care who got what at that point and with everyone hounding me about the bottom line....who cares? (i didn't at that point)..something about that dark server room was appealing to me...although I think if he had kissed me, i wasn't going to get away that nothing is going on between us...

and the funny thing is that people at work thought I was tired on Monday because I had been with someone else at work the night before...i wasn't, haven't even heard from him in a week...sometimes I just don't sleep......

ah the art of flirting and dating & what I eventually want...

Sun, 01 Feb 2004 02:38:32 GMT

I have these two guys flirting with me which is great and I love the attention although I'm not known for noticing it have the time..usually you'd have to hit me over the head but I've noticed both of these guys and I like both of them - how to pick and choose?

After having been in relationship with DE for awhile and then breaking up, I really know what I like and don't like, what I'm looking for and how to move forward. D.E. and I are still friends which is great but its moved on to the friendship phase after ending what we had. And what I really want is a long-term relationship...so if the guy is at an "in-between" stage in his life(de) or on a rebound(j) then move on..because I don't want to be the "in-between" girlfriend or mistress and I don't want to be the rebound partner..I want it all! I want to be the mistress, I want to be the lover, I want to be the girlfriend, I want to be the partner in a long-term relationship and I want to get married someday and I definetly want a least one kid someday.

I want someone that I feel totally comfortable with in a room even if we are doing our own thing, I want the sexual energy between us to always be on. I want to look across a room and be that turned on by someone always. I want to miss that person when we are apart and I want him to miss me. I want to know that person, I want him to know me..all my scattered thoughts. I want alot I know but I don't think I'm asking for too much...but I disgress.....

back to the two guys that I like..picking and choosing...one I think has a girlfriend and I won't go there..(I wouldn't do that to her even though I don't know her but I've been there and I know how it feels..) but I like the guy and he is sexy...second guy is always out on the road, very sexy, gorgeous eyes..never home..ah the art of flirting and dating..hmmm..its nice to feel wanted...hmmm..how does one pick and choose??

Answers...a year later..but an answer

Tue, 02 Dec 2003 07:24:59 GMT

Blogs can be a wonderful expression of oneself and sometimes you ask a question and a year later, you get an answer, an out of the blue answer but an answer. "r", date two from the trials of dating series, left a comment about himself on the date two post..its great to hear from him again and yes, I still think he is yummy..but I never ever thought I'd hear from again...and I love the comment email notification feature...otherwise I would have never known how to contact him.

True Love

Thu, 23 Oct 2003 07:15:29 GMT

Falling in love with someone that isn't in love with you and admitting it to that person is incredibly hard (I know he cares about me but I also know he isn't in love with me). Telling yourself that you aren't in-love only makes it hurt more inside, I think because you aren't being honest with yourself or at least it is for me. Telling that special someone in your life that you don't want them completely out of your life sounds wishy washy but for me, its true, I don't want him to go away. I'd really miss talking to him and honestly I'd miss kissing him. He turns me on more than any other man every has and I've learned what turns me on. I haven't shared much about my personal life these past 5-6 months because I told him - I wouldn't put anything about him on this blog...this was/is definetly more than just a buddy vibe..this was chemistry and still is very much so..I wasn't looking for him at all, he sorta of just appeared in my life one day and I almost didn't go out with him in the first place but talked myself into it..we had chemistry right from the start. I felt him pulling away and I knew in my heart of hearts, that this relationship was changing..but I didn't want to let go and still don't. I'm not looking and have no desire to look for anyone else in my life but I also don't think he is holding me back anymore because I now have told him the truth about my feelings and started being honest with myself. Love is hard. I wish he was in the right place in his life for a committed relationship. I know that everything happens for a reason, there was a reason he came into my life and there is a reason he will continue to be in my life no matter what. Love evolves..friendships evolve...just a matter of listening to your heart and being honest with yourself and your friends.

(please no negative comments about this)

Advice for the online seeker from a woman's point of view

Thu, 02 Oct 2003 02:06:48 GMT

advice to the online seeker especially tailored for the men out there, "And guys, I love ya, but some of you have completely terrible online manners ." from herdesires. I especially love #1 and completely agree..

Sun, 22 Jun 2003 23:46:29 GMT

Dating is confusing enough without knowing the rules of the game..or the definition of personals dating terms. And when your feelings get mixed into the game, it can be quite confusing..let me just say, someone dear to me last night told me he wasn't ready for a serious committment relationship..but I was curious to see by definition where our relationship is in dating terms..

Definitions of Personals Dating Terms.

Wed, 18 Jun 2003 15:42:05 GMT

The trials of dating series ending.....

I feel sorta of bad that I posted alot of details about the guys I've dated, I don't want to delete the series however, I think I will modify some of the facts and just let it be..

I understand a little more about my experiences and why I needed to post them here, it was more for me and a way for me to remember the good about each one of them and a way for me to express my feelings.

Date One - was the first guy I've actually went on a real date with in 5 years.

Date Two - he was cute, we got along great and then it just didn't work out. I never got an explanation but its ok because in the end, I met a really great friend and would have never had that opportunity if I didn't go out with Date Two

Date Three - yes, I fell in love with him but it was because he made me feel sexy and he wanted to hangout with me and I hadn't felt that way in years. He gave me the self confidence to go out and find my dreams. He gave me way to express myself through writing here. I still and will always love him as a friend. I hope someday we can hang out and just be friends.

Date Four - filled a void after Date Three, honestly I can say I was horny and lonely, I guess you could say he was my rebound after date three which I needed and it was over before it started.

current dating situation..that's incredibly private. One thing, I got say, is that he is wonderful and cute. He read this blog and I completely trust him. I also think he read something here that concerned him about me or how I deal with relationships. I know I can be intense sometimes. I know that I can push away people if I'm hurt and I don't want to hurt him or push him away. I also think I found me again this past week, had time to think and realized that I'm happy with my life and whatever happens, happens for a reason.

Wed, 04 Jun 2003 07:19:15 GMT

Trials of Dating continued......

Date Five..definetly more than a buddy vibe, this one is chemistry but I think this one I keep to myself until I see where it leads.....

Sun, 01 Jun 2003 21:46:41 GMT

A friend of mine asked me a question one time that was so right on about dating...was it chemistry or did I get the buddy vibe?

Sensual Experiences

Sun, 01 Jun 2003 21:37:32 GMT

Something I dreamed about last night..just a thought....a feeling, sexy magick....

Every new sensual sexual experience leads us closer to what we need and want from a partner.

I've missed feeling the arms of a lover upon waking in the morning, it was a nice to have that again if only the alarm hadn't woken us up. Dating is hit and miss, but the hits are worth the effort and the pleasure.

Sun, 18 May 2003 19:24:53 GMT

The Trials of Dating Series

This is a my experiences in dating as I look for my soulmate, someone to love, someone to share my life with. I believe that everyone has a soulmate or many soulmates in their lifetime depending where they are at in their life. I've had many relationships in the past, I've been engaged several times and honestly am glad that I haven't gotten married by now because each one of those past engagements wouldn't have worked out. I didn't know who I was at 16 or 21, I was still having fun and partying, we both were. And both of those guys, have gotten married and are having kids now..which I'm totally happy for them and they are still friends. I have a few lost loves in my 34 years some more recent but now I'm at a point in my life where I know what I want and what I'm looking for (i think). I've met a lot of guys who I've ended up just being friends.

I don't go into a potential date thinking this is the one but I do go into a date with the expectations that this guy might be someone I could have a real connection with. Each date so far is a learning curve and I'm finding out more what I need to do for myself when dating. Hence, the trials of dating....

The Background

Date One Can't remember his name, I know its sad...

Date Two "r"

Date Three "j"

Not a date but an interesting friendship Eddie

Date Four "t" (total mistake)