Friday, February 21, 2003

Iraq Scenario 2 (Best Case): 1. Day one: US invades Iraq.  2. Day two: Iraqi generals assassinate Sadam. 3. Day three: Iraqi army reaches truce with US. 4. US hailed as liberator by Iraqi people.      5. Stockpiles of WMD found, horror stories of torture emerge. 6. US withdraws completely from the Middle East, to the delight of the Arab street who thought that the US was there to colonize the region. 7. Bin Laden becomes an anachronism as the Iraqi model of democratic reforms sweeps the Middle East. 8. Senator Tom Daschle complains that Bush could have been more effective. 9. France becomes a major wine and cheese supplier to Iraq. 8:34:17 AM

Iraq Scenario 1 (Worst Case): 1. US invades Iraq. 2. Reengineered smallpox breaks out in 10 major American cities, bypassing standard vaccines. 3. The world population is reduced by 30% and a major depression ensues. 4. Iraq has a special vaccine that works, so the Iraqi people, excluding Shiites and Kurds, are immunized. 5. Iraq waltzes into neighboring countries because they have the only healthy army around. 6. Iraq controls most of the world’s oil. 7. Senator H. Clinton wins the presidency in a backlash against President Bush, withdraws from the Middle East, stops eating bagels because she doesn’t need the voters in New York any longer, and abandons support for Israel. 8. France becomes major wine and nuclear equipment supplier to Iraq. 7:28:11 AM