Sleep Wake Cycle

Concern:

I’m concerned because I’m sleeping so late. This morning I woke up about 10. Of course this will change anyway once M gets back. But – I wonder if I’d be better off with an older sleep pattern like 11-7. If I used to flourish on this, why not now? Is it worth it to have such long evenings and shorter mornings?

Dialogue:

I approach the Dream Studio. I’m struck by how beautiful it is – vines, flowers, just a dream place. I knock. The door opens at once.

Older Self: Come on in.

C: Are you working?

Older Self: For you, and only you, I’m willing to stop for a minute.

C: Thanks so much! I’m worried because I’m sleeping so late – till 10 today and yesterday. When I set the alarm clock or the CD player as an alarm, I have trouble falling asleep. But this morning it seemed as if it would be worth a day or two of feeling really tired, just to get morning time back.

You don’t use any kind of alarm, do you?

Older Self: No, because if I want to paint at 2 a.m., I do. I don’t have regular work hours or a set schedule.

C: I guess I’m scared that without that, I won’t accomplish anything.

Older Self: Doesn’t that depend on whether or not you really want to do something? To accomplish something?

C: Well, maybe. Maybe I’m looking for a feeling of virtue without necessarily having to accomplish anything real. It’s easier to go through the motions.

Older Self: Mmm. You don’t usually settle for what’s easiest.

C: I didn’t used to. Now I’m not so sure. It seems as if I’ve gotten really lazy.

Older Self: Maybe. Maybe not. Personally, I wouldn’t worry about when I got up. I’d just go straight to the studio when I did wake up.

C: Well, you keep telling me that.

Older Self: No reason to say anything different.

C: OK. For now, I’ll just let it go.

Older Self: Why not find your own rhythm? Remember what that young man said about hiking the Appalachian Trail? He said that the most crucial factor was whether or not you hiked at your own pace, in your own rhythm. That was what distinguished the people who made it all the way, from the people who didn’t.

C: I keep looking at what other artists are doing, and how they’re doing it, to see what I should do and how to do it.

Older Self: There’s no harm in seeing new options you might not consider otherwise. But to take anything like that as a “should”…I’d be surprised if you’d go that far.

C: I guess I’m feeling insecure.

Older Self: Well, go feel insecure in the studio, and do some work.

C: OK.

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