In "Railroadin' Some" Mr. Henry Ragtime Texas Thomas is goin' nowhere at the first, when he's just taking the train around Texas, but then he gets going to Chicago and that's a pretty good ride. But Mr. Thomas didn't stay in Chicago. Apparently someone who left a note about it saw Mr. Thomas in Houston about '49. He said Mr. Thomas was a big man, about 6'3", and dressed like a Hobo. Maybe Mr. Thomas was on the way to a Hobo Party. I've read that we think Mr. Thomas died up in Tyler just a little before I was born, which was in '58, like Madonna. If I was a Tibetan maybe I'd think I was Ragtime Texas Thomas in Whiteface, cept I ain't so white if the Sun'd ever shine on me. That Shrubbery Family done et the Sun or so it seems. I dress pretty much like a Hobo cos I hold to the Doctrine of Permanent Hobo Party.
There was that movie about Vikings was a big movie for me when I was a boy in Nacogdoches and they're moving a Big Bell and it slips and falls abonging down and one of the Vikings turns to another and shrugs something like: "I guess that's one way to do it." "Close enough for Jazz," was how Dan Beaty used to phrase that sentiment. "Close enough for Jazz." That's about how I feel about this poor hypernovel of mine.
If you live in a Glass House, rocks are for drawing dogs on. You should be a peaceful injun and walk the way of the DogsOnRox tribe. I think we all pretty much live in Glass Houses now. That's a function these rattly, humming, clickety computers.
A child's got many Mommas. We a Global Village. One of the Mommas I have lost track of was a girl who used to go by the name of Paula Beaty. I heard maybe she was in Indian Territory. Paula is Cherokee. I hope she is faring well and maybe we catch up with each other sometime.
Listen: I sort of groove on playing with my hole cards showing. I got a little exhibitionist kink. My Birth Momma tried her best but the Texas Medicine and the Railroad Gin and the Sinful Popular Culture ate on me and I turned out a reprehensible freak. A Filthy Dreamer. A Geek. A Godless Commie Perv. A Punk. Even skittery vermin gotta skitter best they know how. I'm getting old for the steppenfetchit routine. I'll tell you my play:
I'm gonna sell me some Blue Ukuleles (maybe outta plastic - 'the take it with you anywhere ukulele - the floating wonder of modern ukulele technology'). I'm gonna sell me some Tulip Seed ('the whatever comes up it ain't gonna be tulips except maybe in your head seed'). I'm gonna maybe sell my Thorstein Veblen meets Fu Manchu compilation Classic comicbooks with old Mothers of Invention Ads and Fredrix of Hollywood Ads and maybe pictures of scantily clad Williamsburg girls I can secretly pore over (pore?) and get horny. I'm gonna sell stuff and when I get some scratch in my pocket, I say when I get some Scratch Burning in My Pocket, I'm gonna buy me some Paula Beaty paintings. It's gonna take some digging - I got Digger tendencies. Y'all ask around and I think you'll find that when Quin got scatch in his pocket he ain't known to be much of a quibbler as to prices. Y'all might want to start getting them Paula Beaty paintings ready for me.
I think I'm gonna prepare for my Paula Beaty Painting Buying Spree by casting an auspicious hoax. I'm gonna cast my Hoax on E-Bay and I'm gonna invoke the spirit of Mr. Leo Castelli. For a RichBoy Mr. Leo Castelli always treated me sorta nice and quiet, not getting on my nerves the way so many RichBoys do. He'll be a nice ghosty to help me with my Paula Beaty Painting Buying Spree. I shall do a Coloring of a Lion.
One of the things Fu Manchu can't stand about anarchism is that anarchism is based on the Philosophical Work: "The Theoretical Economics of Captain Ludd". Fu knows this but whenever he goes to the library he can't find the book. Clyde and Koo twit Fu. "Clyde, I don't think Fu was able to find that Book yet. I bet he's gonna get a sorryass Grade on his Book Report." "Koo, I've been told that if a boy gets a sorryass Grade on his Book Report they likely to take them Doctorates right away from him." Fu blanches green to match his eyes and he bites his lip fiendishly.
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