Thursday, August 28, 2003

THIS SITE HAS MOVED.... to here.... 11:12:02 PM    comment []

Saturday, August 23, 2003

ON FRIENDSHIP I was out for drinks the other night with a good friend of mine.  The topic of friendship popped up, or more importantly, why some people instantly bond with each other.  Of course, there are the other kinds of people as well - those that we keep at arms distance, and those that we can't stand to be around.  The latter two are obvious, I think. Why do I bond with some people?  I think it is like coming "home."  I have some friends that instantly put me at ease.  I can totally relax in the presence, and share my innermost thoughts.  They'll challenge those thoughts, and also recognize that we're unique because our thoughts don't always have to be in sync.  They admire me (and vice versa) because we can stand up for those beliefs, and admit that we might not have thought them through as well as we might have hoped. We don't have to perform when we're in the presence of friends. They fit like a glove.  Well... a good fitting glove...   11:14:59 AM    comment []

Friday, August 22, 2003

IT'S NOT JUST THE WEATHER THAT IS COOLER IN CANADA Borrowed from the Pittsburgh, PA Post-Gazette   You live next door to a clean-cut, quiet guy. He never plays loud music or  throws raucous parties. He doesn't gossip over the fence, just smiles  politely and offers you some tomatoes. His lawn is cared-for, his house is  neat as a pin and you get the feeling he doesn't always lock his front door.  He wears Dockers. You hardly know he's there. And then one day you discover  that he has pot in his basement, spends his weekends at peace marches and  that guy you've seen mowing the yard is his spouse.     Allow me to introduce Canada.     The Canadians are so quiet that you may have forgotten they're up there, but  they've been busy doing some surprising things. It's like discovering that  the mice you are dimly aware of in your attic have been building an espresso  machine.     Did you realize, for example, that our reliable little tag-along brother  never joined the Coalition of the Willing? Canada wasn't willing, as it  turns out, to join the fun in Iraq. I can only assume American diner menus  weren't angrily changed to include "freedom bacon," because nobody here eats  the stuff anyway.     And then there's the wild drug situation: Canadian doctors are authorized to  dispense medical marijuana. Parliament is considering legislation that would  not exactly legalize marijuana possession, as you may have heard, but would  reduce the penalty for possession of under 15 grams to a fine, like a  speeding ticket. This is to allow law enforcement to concentrate resources  on traffickers; if your garden is full of wasps, it's smarter to go for the  nest rather than trying to swat every individual bug. Or, in the United  States, bong.     Now, here's the part that I, as an American, can't understand. These poor  benighted pinkos are doing everything wrong. They have a drug problem:  Marijuana offenses have doubled since 1991. And Canada has strict gun  control laws, which means that the criminals must all be heavily armed, the  law-abiding civilians helpless and the government on the verge of a massive  confiscation campaign. (The laws have been in place since the '70s, but I'm  sure the government will get around to the confiscation eventually.) They  don't even have a death penalty!     And yet ... nationally, overall crime in Canada has been declining since  1991. Violent crimes fell 13 percent in 2002. Of course, there are still  crimes committed with guns-brought in from the United States, which has  become the major illegal weapons supplier for all of North America-but my  theory is that the surge in pot-smoking has rendered most criminals too  relaxed to commit violent crimes. They're probably more focused on  shoplifting boxes of Ho-Hos from convenience stores.     And then there's the most reckless move of all: Just last month, Canada  decided to allow and recognize same-sex marriages. Merciful moose, what can  they be thinking? Will there be married Mounties (they always get their  man!)? Dudley Do-Right was sweet on Nell, not Mel! We must be the only ones  who really care about families. Not enough to make sure they all have health  insurance, of course, but more than those libertines up north.     This sort of behavior is a clear and present danger to all our stereotypes  about Canada. It's supposed to be a cold, wholesome country of polite, beer  - drinking hockey players, not founded by freedom-fighters in a bloody  revolution but quietly assembled by loyalists and royalists more interested  in order and good government than liberty and independence.     But if we are the rugged individualists, why do we spend so much of our time  trying to get everyone to march in lockstep? And if Canadians are so  reserved and moderate, why are they so progressive about letting people do  what they want to?     Canadians are, as a nation, less religious than we are, according to polls.  As a result, Canada's government isn't influenced by large, well-organized  religious groups and thus has more in common with those of Scandinavia than  those of the United States, or, say, Iran.     Canada signed the Kyoto global warming treaty, lets 19-year-olds drink, has  more of its population living in urban areas and accepts more immigrants per  capita than the United States.     These are all things we've been told will wreck our society. But I guess  Canadians are different, because theirs seems oddly sound.  Like teenagers, we fiercely idolize individual freedom but really demand  that everyone be the same. But the Canadians seem more adult-more secure.  They aren't afraid of foreigners. They aren't afraid of homosexuality. Most  of all, they're not afraid of each other.     I wonder if America will ever be that cool.     3:04:47 PM    comment [] PARDON MY ABSENCE Lots been going on.  Work is insane, and I've been feeling under the weather for almost a month... damn meds!  Anyway, I'm back... 2:58:17 PM    comment []

Friday, July 18, 2003

MALE BEHAVIOUR st1:* { BEHAVIOR: url(#default#ieooui) } We always hear "the rules" from the female side. Now here are the rules from the male side. These are our rules! (Please note...  these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!) 1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down. 1. Sunday = sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be. 1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way. 1. Crying is blackmail. 1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one:  Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it! 1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question. 1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for. 1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor. 1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days. 1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys. 1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us. 1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one. 1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself. 1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials. 1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do we. 1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like the Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is a vegetable We haven't even got a clue what mauve is. 1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that. 1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle. 1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear. 1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine...Really. 1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or monster trucks. 1. You have enough clothes. 1. You have too many shoes. 1. I am in shape. Round is a shape. 1. Thank you for reading this; Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight, but did you know men really don't mind that? It's a lot like camping. 6:20:42 PM    comment []

Wednesday, July 16, 2003

MASTURBATING MAY PROTECT AGAINST PROSTATE CANCER   The protective effect is greatest while men are in their twenties: those who had ejaculated more than five times per week in their twenties, for instance, were one-third less likely to develop aggressive prostate cancer later in life. I am so biting my tounge. 3:00:55 PM    comment []

Saturday, July 12, 2003

IT IS 2:20AM What the fuck am I doing?  Go to bed!  Go, now! 2:17:06 AM    comment [] SOMEONE CALLED ME A PRICK TONIGHT So, I spit on him. 2:14:38 AM    comment [] OMG, IT IS SATURDAY OMG = "Oh my god," for those that aren't in tune with the online lingo. Yeah, it is Saturday.  It was Friday when I sat down. I am sooooo going to bed!   2:09:29 AM    comment [] RHUNE AND RHONE, SITTING IN A TREE... k i s s i n g . . . Almost 3 years ago I started playing Dark Age of Camelot (DAoC).  It is yet another MMORPG set in the fantasy realm of Camelot.  I was playing a mage, named Rhune Bagdemagus.  Sometime during the first few months, I ran into another mage named Rhone.  We hit it off, and started playing on a fairly regular basis. One day we were playing together - just the two of us - and the conversation got very personal.  So personal that I clued into what my gaydar (I'm gay, didn't I tell you?) had been telling me all along.  Rhone was a fag.  Oh, the sheer bliss.  Anyway, we started spending more and more time together online, and eventually started chatting on the phone.  There were times where we could be found sitting on the shores of Innis Carthaig... just the two of us, chatting away... people eventually started to think that we were related.  We tried to put that to rest. NO, YOU PRE-PUBESCENT RODENTS, WE ARE GAY!  God, someone put them out of their misery, please! Anyway... where am I going with this?  Do you see a trend here?  I start rambling and lose it.  Anyway - whatever... So, I now have Rhone playing Star Wars with me.  I play R'hune Crestingstar, and he is R'hone Crestingstar.  We haven't had any questions, thus far.  Mind you, R'hone likes to take his clothes off in the Cantina and does lap dances for buffed guys.  Gotta love that last name, eh?  It is so Skywalkerish of me.  God, I wish Darth Vader was my Dad.... Oh, did I tell you I bought a Light Sabre... with sounds, and all? Yeah, my brain is screwed. Apparently Rhone is coming to Toronto.  Wonder what that means? 1:57:44 AM    comment []

Friday, July 11, 2003

OH, I FORGOT TO MENTION... I had another Coke today. I finished it. 5:18:13 PM    comment [] MY NAME ISN'T DIFFICULT TO REMEMBER, OR IS IT ? I've got it pretty good at work - I work with a great group of people, and they all know which way my boat travels.  One lady that I work with is always forgetting my name, and she and I are very close.  Sometimes we're in a meeting and she is doing introductions, and goes around the room... gets to me... and pauses. My name is Mark. She will then proceed to tell everyone in the room that she is always drawing a blank when she has to introduce me.  The next day we're in another meeting together.... My name is Mark. To top things off... we were out for lunch today, and laughing about how she is always forgetting my name.  We get back to the office and run into another co-worker, and she proceeds to tell this story... Mike and I were out for lunch. I get called "Mike" a lot.  I smell better than Mike's do... 5:17:17 PM    comment []

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