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Bad Money
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Thursday, July 31, 2003
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TODAY’S GRAFFITI CURRENCY
Meanwhile, in an alternate universe, Two-Face crushed Batman & Robin into a bloody paste, blew Riddler's head off during a mood swing (hey, he came up tails), overthrew the US government, and issued new currency more suitable to his Empire's theme.
posted by Harvey at 9:31:59 PM permalink HOME
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Wednesday, July 30, 2003
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Tuesday, July 29, 2003
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TODAY’S GRAFFITI CURRENCY
Time to reach for the Extra-Strength Clearasil Pre-Prom Party Pack.
posted by Harvey at 6:29:13 PM permalink HOME
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Monday, July 28, 2003
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Sunday, July 27, 2003
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TODAY’S GRAFFITI CURRENCY
No matter how big of a hurry you're in, remember to buy the Valentine's Day card BEFORE you start writing your heartfelt message of adoration.
posted by Harvey at 4:02:14 PM permalink HOME
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Saturday, July 26, 2003
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TODAY’S GRAFFITI CURRENCY
With the Sacagawea coin proving to be wildly unpopular, the Treasury rolls out the "new" Golden Dollar, complete with the hard-to-counterfeit "missing corner" security feature.
posted by Harvey at 10:26:17 AM permalink HOME
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Friday, July 25, 2003
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TODAY’S GRAFFITI CURRENCY
Official Catholic Priest Hush Money
posted by Harvey at 9:24:37 PM permalink HOME
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Thursday, July 24, 2003
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TODAY’S GRAFFITI CURRENCY
Dismissing the internet as "a buncha high-falutin', new-fangled Yankee snake oil", the folks at G's Ice House in Deer Park, Texas, decided to go with only the first half of the "wheresgeorge" approach to customer outreach.
posted by Harvey at 6:31:15 PM permalink HOME
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Wednesday, July 23, 2003
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TODAY’S GRAFFITI CURRENCY
Pfizer experiments with subliminal advertising for Viagra
posted by Harvey at 9:53:47 PM permalink HOME
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Tuesday, July 22, 2003
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Monday, July 21, 2003
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TODAY’S GRAFFITI CURRENCY
George was surprised by his after-life destination, until he remembered that, even though he'd confessed to his father about the cherry tree incident, he'd neglected to get that one cleared with the Big Guy Upstairs.
posted by Harvey at 9:14:04 PM permalink HOME
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Sunday, July 20, 2003
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TODAY’S GRAFFITI CURRENCY
Being uneducated in the finer points of the art, George gets a little crazy applying the clown make-up.
posted by Harvey at 10:13:44 PM permalink HOME
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Saturday, July 19, 2003
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TODAY’S GRAFFITI CURRENCY
Monica's first President.
posted by Harvey at 9:24:16 PM permalink HOME
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Friday, July 18, 2003
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TODAY’S GRAFFITI CURRENCY
No matter how closely you follow the instructions, spam-based get-rich-quick schemes just never seem to work.
posted by Harvey at 7:38:06 PM permalink HOME
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Thursday, July 17, 2003
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TODAY’S GRAFFITI CURRENCY
THE QUESTION:
THE ANSWER:
posted by Harvey at 9:28:47 PM permalink HOME
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Wednesday, July 16, 2003
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TODAY’S GRAFFITI CURRENCY
Finally, some good news on the education front: 100% of Wisconsin high school seniors surveyed were able to correctly identify George Washington as the first President of the United States*
*NOTE: This survey was conducted in accordance with the requirements of Wisconsin's "No Call" list, which may have affected survey sample size.
posted by Harvey at 9:00:31 PM permalink HOME
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Tuesday, July 15, 2003
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Monday, July 14, 2003
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TODAY’S GRAFFITI CURRENCY
George jots a quick note to remind himself not to always be so darn serious when chatting with foreign dignitaries.
posted by Harvey at 8:26:05 PM permalink HOME
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Sunday, July 13, 2003
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Saturday, July 12, 2003
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Friday, July 11, 2003
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TODAY’S GRAFFITI CURRENCY
Arnold Schwarzenegger goes back in time to free the slaves in:
Terminator 4: Rise of the Republicans
posted by Harvey at 7:27:56 PM permalink HOME
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Thursday, July 10, 2003
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TODAY’S GRAFFITI CURRENCY
Considering how Mary Todd had been acting lately, Abe figured that this was as close as he was going to get to "laid" for quite a while.
posted by Harvey at 11:07:10 PM permalink HOME
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Wednesday, July 09, 2003
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TODAY’S GRAFFITI CURRENCY
The Department of Homeland Security has revealed this key piece of evidence linking bingo-playing grandmothers to a terrorist plot targeting the US Treasury.
posted by Harvey at 9:51:39 PM permalink HOME
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Tuesday, July 08, 2003
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TODAY’S GRAFFITI CURRENCY
Proof that Saddam is still alive, and harboring a touch of bitterness.
posted by Harvey at 10:36:13 PM permalink HOME
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Monday, July 07, 2003
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Sunday, July 06, 2003
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TODAY’S GRAFFITI CURRENCY
Kids, don't be like George. Just say "no" to drugs.
posted by Harvey at 6:06:51 PM permalink HOME
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Saturday, July 05, 2003
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TODAY’S GRAFFITI CURRENCY
Ryan apparently also has excellent penmanship.
posted by Harvey at 9:49:25 PM permalink HOME
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Friday, July 04, 2003
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TODAY’S GRAFFITI CURRENCY
You tell 'em, Andy
posted by Harvey at 10:54:26 PM permalink HOME
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Thursday, July 03, 2003
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TODAY’S GRAFFITI CURRENCY
Might have worked better on a $100.
posted by Harvey at 11:21:14 PM permalink HOME
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Wednesday, July 02, 2003
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TODAY’S GRAFFITI CURRENCY
I assume that this bill's previous owner also had a dresser drawer labeled "drug storage area" containing a box of needles labeled "for injecting heroin".
posted by Harvey at 11:12:48 PM permalink HOME
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Tuesday, July 01, 2003
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TODAY’S GRAFFITI CURRENCY: A SEA STORY
Way back in my Navy days, after spending 40 long, judge-sober days at sea, we finally pulled into the Philippines for 4 relaxing days in the single man's paradise of Olongapo City. Olongapo is situated right outside the Navy base there (which, sadly, closed in the early 90's), and specialized in the type of entertainment that sea-weary sailors tend to enjoy - loud rock & roll, pretty girls, and alcohol by the tanker truck.
My first night off base found my buddies & I bouncing from one bar to the next along Magsaysay drive, piling up empty bottles of San Miguel beer, screaming "WOOOOOOOOO!" at the bands until our throats were tattered ("another San Magoo will fix that. WAITRESS! Another round!"), and making the kind of broken-English conversation with the local working girls that most people only hear somewhere in the second half of "Full Metal Jacket"
Along about 2am, I staggered semi-consciously back to the ship, pausing now & again to yark up a gallon of beer, my last seven meals, and bits of my spleen & pancreas. Somehow I made it back to my berthing area to bed-spin my way into a dreamless semi-coma.
Four hours later, when reveille sounded, I pried my sleep-sticky eyes open, remembered where I was and most of how I got there, and realized that I felt more or less exactly like this:
posted by Harvey at 11:05:03 PM permalink HOME
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© Copyright 2005 Harvey Olson.
Last update: 6/24/2005; 6:00:03 PM.
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