Bad Money

Sun, 09 May 2004 22:41:21 GMT

GOODBYE RADIO, HELLO MUNU

Bad Money is now Bad Example. The new address is http://www.badexample.mu.nu

Please update your links and/or bookmarks accordingly.

What's changing? The URL, the look, the software, the name, and the load time (much faster).

What's not changing? The graffiti currency, love notes, precision guided humor, filthy lies, and dirty-minded smart-assery.

I want to state for the record that Radio is not inherently bad blogging software. It's got some nice features, and I'm REALLY going to miss the WYSIWYG editing mode (I hope Movable Type is looking to add that in the future). It actually has most of the important features I wanted, but a couple of them didn't work right for me. Which leads me to the main reason I'm abandoning it. There's no real on-line tech-support to speak of, and not enough tech-savvy bloggers use it for there to be a useful place to turn for help. Which wouldn't be a problem, if it weren't for the fact that a lot of the features are highly non-intuitive. The learning curve is steep and painful. I won't miss that.

With MT, there's a HUGE community of people who know the ins and outs. If I have a problem, there's no shortage of folks with the wisdom and inclination to help out. Since I'd rather be blogging than tweaking, this is a valuable feature for me, and the main reason for the switch.

Some parting gratitude:

Mike Taylor, aka The Bartender of Madfish Willie's Cyber Saloon, for doing all the heavy lifting to get my new site up and running. He really knows his stuff on blog design. Despite the gruff persona he presents at the Saloon, he's a cuddly little fuzzball to work with and will stop at nothing to give you exactly what you want.

Pam of Pamibe, who did the graphics & logos, including the gorgeous banners. Incredibly talented at creating images. I have no idea where she found the time, but she did, and I am eternally grateful.

To Pixy Misa of Ambient Irony, who provides the site hosting. His generosity knows no bounds, and he bends over backwards to help with problems, whether technical or merely (as in my case) user ignorance.

To Susie of Practical Penumbra, who's been oh-so-sweetly & gently encouraging me to move for the longest time. Patient, yet insistent, she made it easy to finally say "yes" to MuNu.

To Jen of Jen Lars. When I said, "I'll bet you can't leave 100 comments", she led the charge to make it happen. I thought it would take days or weeks. I almost cried when I saw it took less than an hour.

Honorable mention in the "push Harv to MuNu brigade" goes to Tiffany of Blown Fuse, Jim of Snooze Button Dreams, CD of Semi-Intelligent Thoughts, and Nony Mouse.

To Eric of Straight White Guy, who dedicated "Mr. Bad Example" to me at Madfish Willie's Comment Party and provided the inspiration for the new blog's name. In case anybody's wondering, I chose not to use the "Mr." part for 2 reasons. First - better continuity - still two words, and only one changed. Second, well... truth is, having a blog name that begins with "B" gives me a certain positional advantage on alphabetized blogrolls, which leads to slight, but noticable, traffic results from people who are out surfing at random. It's something I didn't consider when I first picked "Bad Money" but it's something new bloggers might want to think about.

To all the delightfully sick, twisted, and or silly people who kept linking, commenting, and visiting, despite my hideously long load time, I thank you. Your patience has been rewarded. You will now be able to read my crap on the same day you click the link.

Final thought. When I first started blogging, I thought it was going to be all about seeing my words in print, and if someone wanted to read what I wrote, that was great, but secondary. Over the last 10 months or so, I found out that the best thing about blogging was the people I met and the friends I made. This was very strange for me, because I'm not exactly a social butterfly.
I don't like most of the people I meet on a day to day basis. But blogging transcends geography, and distance means nothing on line. The kind of people I've wished I could meet out in the world are all here, and they stop by my virtual living room every day. We talk or flirt, get drunk or tease, share happiness & misery, and generally make each other's lives better for spending the time together. Blogging's the most fun you can have with you're clothes on.

Not that I don't occasionally blog nekkid ;-)

See you at Bad Example.

Sun, 09 May 2004 21:32:01 GMT

HOW I VOTED

I'm gonna go ahead & buy myself a peck of trouble here and explain my votes in the IMAO T-shirt Babe contest.

Overview:

There were 2 parts to the contest. One was a "hawkish statement" and the other was a picture of the contestant. I gave them both 0-10 ranking for each contestant, and added up the scores to determine the winner. I lost the little post-it note with the numbers on it, so you'll have to do without that. I'm also not going to mention the 15 girls I didn't vote for. Suffice it to say they didn't appeal to me as much in one category or another.

First place: Heather. (contestant #10) She has an amazing way with words, and her essay showcased her talent well. Her picture - my goodness, but the lady has a pretty face and gorgeous hair. I'd be inclined to pay money for anything that was displayed below it.

Second place: Willow. (contestant #1) Firm, resolved, hawkish statement. Cheated on the essay length by including a link, but I read the rest & it made such a good point, I didn't care. Coquettish, seductive picture. I think she hacked into my computer and read the file marked "bar wench fantasy".

Third place: Reva. (#16) A conservative politically active Berkeley student? Having been a Libertarian at UW-Madison (which is exactly like UC Berkeley, except State Street doesn't allow car traffic, and Telegraph Avenue does), this one carried a lot of weight. As for the picture, it showed a lot of attitude, and (I shall be blunt here) a rack that was built for selling T-shirts.

Fourth place: Carissa (#18) Good essay, pretty face, and nice display of T-shirt supporting assets. The finger-biting pose made me *ahem* perk up.

Fifth place: CCinCali (#11) Good essay - loved the image of Michael Moore as a literal human shield - and a smile that makes Marie Osmond look like Oscar the Grouch. Not to mention built for T-shirts.

The others... well... some of the essays weren't hawkish at all. Some were a hawkish to the point of insanity. I was looking for something determined, but not vicious.

The pictures... There's no gentle way to say this. It takes either a great set or a pretty face to be a model. Although I will state unequivocally that none of the ladies were hard to look at, I must also say that a lot of the pics weren't posed to do a good job of showing off what the model had to offer. I took off points for that.

Having said all that, I now congratulate SarahK of Mountaineer Musings on winning the contest. The gun was an inspired touch, and won a lot of hearts and minds. The truth is, if you want to win an IMAO contest, it's better to be different than great. Creativity is the key to victory. Jot that down and remember it well if you ever want to be a Frank J. winner.

Sat, 08 May 2004 12:17:10 GMT

PLAYING ELSEWHERE

I'm posting at Bad Example today. I'll work up a nice "good-bye Radio" post later. I gotta get to work now. Meanwhile, go forth & enjoy my wit.

Sat, 08 May 2004 05:34:14 GMT

CITIZENS against UNCLEAN NETWORK TRASH

ROTFLMAO!

Some actual letters to the FCC about the now infamous Oprah "tossed salad" episode obtained through a Freedom of Information Act request. Look through a few of them. Link via the never safe for work Bacchus of Erosblog.

Sat, 08 May 2004 04:53:10 GMT

MY FIRST POST

... is up at Bad Example, and I already got my first troll.

Ok, so it was me.

Anyway, the Bartender has it more or less functional, so I hope to attempt the crossover this weekend. Meanwhile, feel free to become the second troll. Or third.

Whatever. I'm just happy to be getting my comments e-mailed to me again.

Sat, 08 May 2004 04:06:48 GMT

MEANWHILE AT ALLIANCE HQ

Friday linky stuff

Filthy Lie Round-up: Evil Glenn's First Post. This is the highest quality assortment of goodies in a long time. Don't miss 'em.

New Filthy Lie assignment: Evil Glenn's Fed-Ex Package

Sat, 08 May 2004 02:18:26 GMT

BLOGLESS SALLY'S FILTHY LIE

One of the Alliance's blogless Sympathetic Civilians (Sally) asked me to post her filthy lie for her. Since it's a good first effort, I see no reason not to:

(Glenn Reynolds, Harvard, circa 1991 sitting on his beanbag of the blackest ice still awaiting his throne)

...Tap... tap... tap...

"Ahhh the trusty old BBC Micro. Muwahahaha! Bow... down... before... the... Evil... Internet... Overlord!!!! Heh, indee......"

....CLICK....

....Reconnection noise of modem....

"Heh! Not enough people on this internet-thing to dominate yet."

....CLICK....

....Reconnection noise of modem....

....Busy tone....

"Gives me time to work on my typing speed and look at www.penguinporn.com though... Mmmmm flightless aquatic arctic waterfowl tastefully posed."

....Reconnection noise of modem....

"Damn my ISP and Dial Up!!!"

....CLICK....

....Reconnection noise of modem....

....Busy tone....

Fast Forward 7 years, many typing monkeys and several thousand blended puppies/murdered hobos later....

"I am now a FULLY FLEDGED megalomaniac! Sorry, LAWYER. If only I didn't feel so lethargic!"

....Blender noises and slurping....

WWWWHHHIIIIIRRRRRRRR..... YIP YIP YIP Squelch

"Mmmmm. Springer spaniel puppy. Gives me a nice spring in my step. Now where was I?? Heh. Ignore my first post. I am now secure in Castle Glenn. The bones of hobos and puppies litter the great hall. I have several hundred pairs of socks to go with my sandals. I own 10 of the finest Italian mopeds with their 1 forward and 10 reverse gears. Black Mass is held thrice daily and due to my high energy diet (the Alsation diet - high in carbs and collars so forget Atkins! ) I have even managed to punch bloggers in my specialist French Schoolgirl form of martial art. What time is it? Really? I still have time to make 3999 more posts in the next hour then!"

...Tap... tap... tap... heh... tap... tap... tap... link... tap... tap... tap... indeed...

If you liked this, please leave some encouragement in the comments, and we'll see if we can get Sally's courage up to start a little something at Blogspot, and perhaps move on from there.

INSTAPUNDO DELENDA EST!

Sat, 08 May 2004 01:09:35 GMT

EVIL GLENNS FIRST POST
(A FILTHY LIE ASSIGNMENT)

I wandered into Madfish Willie's Cyber Saloon the other night, mostly to check out the damage from the comment party. Looked like the clean up was coming along fine, although the guys in the HazMat suits were a little creepy. Anyway, I figured a Guinness and some of Matty O'Blackfive's war stories would do me good.

But Matty wasn't there.

So I inquired politely of the Bartender...

Harv: Hey Bartender! Where the f*** is Matty? He was supposed to meet me here.

Bartender: How the f*** should I know, asshole? Do I look like his f***** mother?

Harv: Only by way of the hairy back. This is just weird. He's always here.

Bartender: Now that I think about it, he did call and leave a message. Something about he wasn't coming tonight because he was going to spend the evening playing "bats" with Little Blackfive.

Harv: "Bats"? What the hell is "bats"?

... Meanwhile at a filthy hippy protest rally in Chicago...

Filthy Hippy Dude: Iraq is Bush's Vietnam! Uh... something... something... something... bomb!

Matty: Ok, Little Blackfive, do it just like I taught you.

Little Blackfive: Ok, dad.

Filthy Hippy Dude: Condi Rice sure lies a lot! Condi Rice sure is a... Oh, hey little midget dude! Wait... you're not a midget, you're a child. That means... [thinking really hard for a hippy]... You're one of THE CHILDREN (tm)! There's nothing I wouldn't do for THE CHILDREN (tm)!

Little Blackfive: Good. Then stand still, f***face. [swinging Louiville Slugger] *CRACK!*

Filthy Hippy Dude: OH GOD! My kneecaps! I'll never walk again!

Little Blackfive: Or reproduce [laying a Barry Bonds on Filthy Hippy Dude's gonads] *WHACK!*

Filthy Hippy Dude: AIEEEEEE!

Little Blackfive: How was that, Dad?

Matty [tousling his hair]: That's my boy!

...

Bartender: You're right. That doesn't make any sense. Maybe he said "catch". Anyway, what's your poison?

Harv: Guinness. Cold. And a CLEAN glass, if you don't mind.

Bartender: Persnickety bitch. At least my glasses are cleaner than your skid-marked underwear.

Harv: I prefer to think of them as "performance art".

Bartender: Whatever. You gonna pay for that, or just stand there twiddling your dick?

Harv: Both [flipping paper onto the bar]

Bartender: What the f*** is that? That's not money, that's just a piece of paper with some scribbling on it. Is that a love note or somethin'?

Harv: No, Love Notes are for my wife.

Bartender: You think I'm your wife?

Harv: Nah, my wife at least bathes on occasion. You're just my bitch. Now what the hell does that thing say?

Bartender "Lie assignment - Glenn's first post". You want to ride Glenn's post? Sick bastard!

Harv: AW SHIT! I knew I forgot something. I have to find out about Evil Glenn's first post so I have a Filthy Lie for the round-up on Friday, and I haven't even started.

Bartender: Not that it matters. Your crap is about as funny as a porcupine enema anyway.

Harv: Beats your dumb-ass cow jokes, though. Damn. I gotta get outta here & do some research.

Bartender: Screw that. Why don't you just have your blogless brother hack into Glenn's computer & do some pokin' around?

Harv: Nah. That's GEBIV'S schtick.

Bartender: Who?

Harv: Nevermind. Look, why don't you come with me & help me dig up the dirt?

Bartender: Because you're a retarded monkey humper.

Harv: Besides that.

Bartender: Eh. No reason. Nobody's in here anyway. I'll kick the HazMat guys out & close early.

Harv: Great! To the Drunkmobile!

Bartender: Nope.

Harv: What?

Bartender: Can't do that. I let Eric borrow it for the night.

Harv: Eric? That souse? You think that was a good idea?

Bartender: He's a responsible former Marine. What could happen?

... Meanwhile at a nearby demolition derby...

Eric: YEEEEEE-HAWWW! *CRASH* WHOO-HOO! *crumple* Yippee-ki-yay mother- *SMASH*

...

Harv: I guess you're right. Come on. We'll take my Yugo.

We drove through the night, narrowly avoiding being caught in a toxic monkey-dung spill, and soon arrived at Evil Glenn's sinister compound...

Bartender: I can't believe you drove to Tennessee from Texas via Milwaukee. Why the f*** didn't you stop to ask directions?

Harv: Because I have a penis. Duh! All men are genetically incapable of admitting they're lost.

Bartender: I know that. I just thought that a mutant freak like yourself would be exempt.

Harv: You're just jealous because my size 12 shoes prove the old wive's tale. What size Nike's are YOU sporting?

Bartender [blushing & looking away]: Size 5... boys.

Harv: You've got short, stubby fingers, too.

Bartender: F*** you! Let's just get this over with. I've got a date later.

Harv: She can wait. Inflatable Katie's a patient gal.

Bartender: Hey! She may be a blow-up doll, but at least... uh... anyway, can we get on with this?

We snuck up to the main building, pausing only to kick a few of his killer attack rabbits out of the way (no offense, Roxette).

Harv: I didn't know bunnies could scream like that.

Bartender: Still sounds better than homicidalManiak's singin'

Harv: I don't think it's a good idea to make fun of a woman who wields a hatchet-saw.

Bartender: Oh f*** her. She can take a joke. So, how do we get in, Einstein?

Harv: Maybe ring the doorbell... [ding dong]

Jen [answering door in black leather catsuit]: Yes? May I help you?

Harv: Greetings, oh erotically clad minion of the dark puppy-blending overlord of the blogosphere. We are weary travellers who have sojourned many leagues, seeking knowledge of...

Jen: Let me re-phrase that. What the f*** do you want?

Bartender: Let me handle this, Wordsworth. We need access to Evil Glenn's computer database for a Filthy Lie assignment.

Jen: Sure. Come on in.

Harv: What? Just like that? I thought you were Evil Glenn's loyal minion and/or spicy sex toy?

Jen: Technically, yes, but I haven't been paid in over a month. Seems Mr. Important has been squandering the payroll on penguin porn and ivory-handled hobo-filleting knives. I'm game for a little payback.

Harv: Sweet! Lead on. And, uh... walk slowly. We'll fantasize... er, fondle… FOLLOW you.

Jen led us to a small office containing an ancient TRS-80....

Jen: That was Glenn's first computer. It should have what you're looking for.

Harv: Great! What's the password?

Jen: Shut up! I'm trying to do my nails.

Harv: Fine. Let's see... DRINKPUP... Hey! Got it in one. Now we just look for the earliest date, and... Oh my...

Bartender: Naked Helen Thomas?

Harv: No... it's... geez, I knew Glenn was a pathetic geek loser, but...

Bartender: Well? Either tell us or move your pointy head so I can read it.

Harv: Unbelievable... it says:

It's time to end this ridiculous debate once and for all. With my devastating intellectual brilliance, I will prove beyond a shadow of a doubt that Kirk was by far the superior Starship Captain, and that Picard was a total loser. The following 100 pieces of evidence are indisputable:

100. Kirk is a leader, not a follower.
99. Kirk never really got into that kinky "Jumpsuit" look.
98. Kirk has sex more than once a season.
97. One Word: Hair.
96. Another Word: Pretty-good-looking-can't-see-the-weave-WIG.
95. Kirk can beat up a Klingon bare-handed.
94. Picard is a French man with an English accent.
93. Kirk would date Beverly Crusher -- and damn the consequences!!
92. Kirk never drinks tea. Ever.
91. Diplomacy for Kirk is a phaser and a smirk.

...

Harv: He actually listed 100 different reasons.

Bartender: What a dweeb. What's that one comment to the post say?

Harv: "U R dum. Picard roolz cuz:"

101. Two Words: better voice.
100. Picard's ship's counselor traded in her miniskirt for that great low-cut neckline.
99. Kirk fought over women. Picard had women fight over him.
98. Picard fires both photon torpedoes AND phasers at the same time when in battle.
97. Picard's ship is better than Kirk's -- better, faster, stronger.
96. Picard hates children -- Kirk once rescued a bunch of patricidal little maniacs, tried to console them, and almost lost his ship and crew in the process.
95. Picard was responsible for Beverly Crusher's husband dying, berated her son constantly in her presence, yet still manged to make her fall for him.
94. Though admittedly he's seldom a patron, Picard's ship actually has a BAR.
93. Kirk fought others himself, Picard has others do his fighting for him.
92. When nurse Chapel re-appeared as Troi's mother, she fell for Picard.
91. In seven years, Picard never developed a gut like Kirk's.

...

Harv: This one has 101. Guess that solves THAT argument once and for all. And it's signed... Frank J.

Bartender: You mean Frank might have misled us as to the real reason for his declaring war on Glenn?

Harv: Frank lied

Bartender: But puppies died!

Harv: Such a moral quandry.

Jen: Would you guys shut up? I'm trying to watch my tape of the last episode of Friends.

Harv: What for? They kiss, happy ending, blah, blah, blah..

Jen: You BASTARD! I'll strangle you dead!

Bartender: Come on Harv, time to go.

We ran back to the Yugo, pausing only to turn around occasionally to enjoy the sight of Jen's leather-clad jiggling as she pursued us. Fortunately, her six-inch stilletto heels slowed her down enough to allow us to make good our escape. After another short detour through Wisconsin, where we were almost run off the road by the state's thoroughly hammered Attorney General, we arrived safely back at Madfish Willie's...

Bartender: Well, Harv, are you going to tell the truth about what you discovered, even though it may destroy Frank's credibility?

Harv: The truth must be told, otherwise the Alliance will lose the moral high ground in our battle against evil.

Bartender: But I thought the Alliance was based on Filthy Lies?

Harv: Aw shit. Another moral quandry. Maybe I'll just lie about it being the truth, in which case the truth will be a filthy lie and because I lied about the truth being a lie, it'll still be a filthy lie.

Bartender: Sorta like "Bowling for Columbine"?

Harv: Exactly.

Bartender: Do whatever ya want, dipshit, this is my stop. I gotta go back in the bar & tidy up a few things.

Harv: You mean pull Inflatable Katie of that shelf in the closet.

Bartender: Pretty much.

Harv: Tell her I said "Hi"… say… who's that standing in front of the bar?

homicidalManiak [casually twirling hatchet-saw]: So… Bartender… don't like my singing?

Bartender: …oh …crap … Uh… Hey! Look over there! Is that a bowl of lime Jello?

hM: Soul food? Where?

Bartender: Sucker! [FWING!]

hM: [jumping into my car]: Quick! Get this Yugo into gear & run him down!

Harv: Did you just use the words "quick" and "Yugo" in the same sentence?

hM: I did, didn't I?… *giggle*… Nevermind.

Harv: Say... how'd you know what the Bartender said about you, anyway?

hM: I'm LDS, remember? The Mormon Temple is part of the Illuminati, so I can find out pretty much anything.

Harv: You mean you could have found out about Evil Glenn's first post for me?

hM: What, that stupid Star Trek thing? I thought everybody knew about that! I've even got the T-shirt, see? [opening jacket to reveal "Glenn's First Post" T-shirt, with Kirk's reasons on the front and Picard's reasons on the back]

Harv: Oh.

hM: Did I say something wrong?

Harv: No… no… come on, I'll take ya home. Maybe you can sing me a song with that pretty voice of yours while I drive?

hM: Sure. Anything in particular?

Harv: Some Warren Zevon would be nice. I think you know the one [putting the car in gear and getting up to speed].

HM: Sure do. *AHEM*

I started as an alter boy, working at the church
Learning all my holy moves, doing some research
Which led me to a cash box, labeled "Children's Fund"
I'd leave the change, and tuck the bills inside my cummerbund

Harv: Oh yeah!

INSTAPUNDO DELENDA EST!

Thu, 06 May 2004 23:51:34 GMT

TODAY'S LOVE NOTE

(Introduction)

Love is like gold - rare and treasured. Yet there is not just one piece of gold, but one that is unique to each person. Once you find yours, treasure it, and do not let it go.

Thu, 06 May 2004 23:49:56 GMT

TODAY’S GRAFFITI CURRENCY

[www.boohoodynamite www.julius bragg]

"Yes, Mr. Kerry, I do know who you are, but www.kerry04.org is already taken, and these are the only two domain names we have left."

Thu, 06 May 2004 23:43:11 GMT

FOR OWEN

Owen of Boots & Sabers laments the fact that he doesn't post more on national issues. Despite the fact that he's already THE best source for Wisconsin political news on the web, he'd like to branch out a bit. However:

[...] so much of the national news is, and has been, dominated by issues relating to the Iraq War. Frankly, I'm sick of discussing it. I support the war. I think we need to finish the job. Most of the stories about the war are so predictable that it's pathetic. A problem comes up. Those opposed to the war jump on it and wail loudly. Supporters of the war defend or place perspective on the issue. We move on to the next issue. I'm just tired of it.

Gotcha covered man. Just copy & paste this every day:

GENERIC NATIONAL ISSUES POST

Something bad happened in Iraq today.

Liberals claim this is proof that George Bush is losing the peace, and that the Iraqi quagmire is worsening.

Numerous conservatives, however, have well-written, in-depth explanatory posts showing how things aren't as bad as they're being portrayed, and that we might actually be better off in the long run because of it.

See Instapundit for details.

Thu, 06 May 2004 04:44:25 GMT

CRAP!

Falling way behind on e-mails & such, plus some items to mess with for the move. And tomorrow is Quality Guy Time Night with blogless brother.

I'm not feeling overwhelmed...

[tipping back whiskey bottle]

Thu, 06 May 2004 04:42:11 GMT

TODAY'S LOVE NOTE

(Introduction)

If laughing makes you live longer, you would make me live forever.

Thu, 06 May 2004 04:33:40 GMT

MEANWHILE AT ALLIANCE HQ

Filthy lie reminder: Evil Glenn's first post.

Wednesday linky stuff

Precision Guided Humor Round-up is up. 4 entries, all primo. Highly recommended.

Beer Madness results: Yay! I wasn't last!

New PGH assignment: Fun Facts About Michael Moore.

Thu, 06 May 2004 03:47:41 GMT

HAPPY DAY!

Beloved Wife went out to a Cinco de Mayo party tonight, and she got carded.

She's 36, so she's positively giddy about that.

Thu, 06 May 2004 00:24:24 GMT

IMPROVING KERRY'S SITE
(A PRECISION GUIDED HUMOR ASSIGNMENT)

When I saw John Kerry's "I wanna be your president" web site, my first thought was that there was some sort of hiccup in Google, because, judging by the pictures, I'd been misdirected to some sort of Herman Munster fan page. But upon closer inspection, I decided it probably was Kerry. After that, I noticed how dull and drab it was. Definitely needed some spicing up. Here are some suggestions.

Get a comic strip - in order to boost traffic, an entertaining daily feature would be helpful. Chris Muir does a great strip called "Day by Day". Perhaps he could do one called "Flip by Flop", wherein he could chronicle Kerry's zany adventures as he attempts to nuance his way out of the corners he's constantly talking his way into.

He could sell some John Kerry action figures. (via Larry of Extreme Psychosis)

Some pictures of the Mekong Delta so he doesn't get confused next time he goes to Louisiana.

A prominent link to Democratic Underground, since he gets most of his material there anyway.

Images to help people visualize what his mandatory national service program would look like.

A fun quiz might be nice.

A list of his favorite things like:

Favorite Batman villain: Two Face
Favorite Chewing Gum: Doublemint
Favorite Star Trek Episode: Mirror, Mirror
Favorite Circus Freak: Chang & Eng Bunker
Favorite Simpsons characters: Sherri & Terri
Favorite Sitcom: The Patty Duke Show
Favorite part of a football game: the coin toss.

SIC SEMPER TYRANNIS!

Wed, 05 May 2004 12:40:13 GMT

IT'S NOT QUITE FINISHED YET, BUT IT'S GOING TO BE HOME

It's called Bad Example.

I've got a new MuNu blog, with a new name, which, thanks to a LOT of tireless effort from the Bartender (who did the major site design), and Pam of Pamibe who busted her pretty little tushie whipping me up some gorgeous title banners (they rotate randomly, so refresh a couple times).

I'm not moving yet. Bartender's doing some final tweaking. But do me a favor - click over there, look around a little bit & see if everything looks ok in whatever browser you're using. If not, please say something. The Bartender can get it fixed, but only if he knows about it.

Wed, 05 May 2004 04:35:04 GMT

GET MIXED UP IN OTHER PEOPLE'S ARGUMENTS

From the first time I saw the Olsen twins on Full House, I thought Mary Ash & Kately (or whatever their names are) looked like monkeys. Frankly, I think they've retained their simian aspect as they've matured, and are still quite chimp-like to this day.

Beloved Wife disagrees. Beloved Wife liked Full House, too, so she's both biased and - obviously - dangerously insane.

So, help me out by giving your opinion in the comments:

Do the Olsen Twins look like monkeys? Yes or No.

(UPDATE 5-5-04 8am):

Monchhichis?

Troll Dolls?

Wed, 05 May 2004 04:28:30 GMT

TODAY'S LOVE NOTE

(Introduction)

I miss you even more than I could have believed; and I was prepared to miss you a good deal. So this letter is just really a squeal of pain. It is incredible how essential to me you have become. I suppose you are accustomed to people saying these things. Damn you, spoilt creature; I shan't make you love me any more by giving myself away like this - But oh my dear, I can't be clever and stand-offish with you: I love you too much for that.

Wed, 05 May 2004 04:25:23 GMT

TODAY’S GRAFFITI CURRENCY

Comic Strip Celebrity Deathmatch: Opus vs. Doonesbury.

Tue, 04 May 2004 03:54:29 GMT

IMAO T-SHIRT BABE ANNOUNCED

The results have been posted at IMAO.

I didn't vote for the winner, but you probably won't be surprised that everyone else did. You heard it first from Tommy Shaw.

Dare I reveal how I cast my ballots & why?

Tue, 04 May 2004 03:47:26 GMT

KING OF THE BLOGS
ROUND 1 RESULTS

are up at the King of the Blogs home page. In addition to my craptacular blathering, you'll find:

Belief Seeking Understanding's bonus fetish

Susie's "cut to the chase" numerical rankings

Pietro's eloquent & entertaining analysis of the entries

And a complete absense of Mr. Stuffy.

Tue, 04 May 2004 02:34:31 GMT

IRAQ VS. VIET NAM

A top 10 list from America's #1 pin-up girl. I'm partial to #2 myself:

John Kerry got two paper cuts and a stubbed toe last week, and hasn't received a single Purple Heart for his pain and anguish.

Tue, 04 May 2004 02:27:28 GMT

TODAY'S LOVE NOTE

(Introduction)

[notez bien: I'm stealing this one whole from Linus of Pepper of the Earth. While I never actually put this one in Beloved Wife's little mailbox, I really like it because it reminds me of Led Zeppelin's "Thank You", which was the first song I ever dedicated to Beloved Wife - way back when she had just become Beloved Girlfriend for the first time back in 1986.]

Just Add Water

Ingredients:

     1 mountain (large)
     1 ocean (immense)
     2 lovers (uncertain)

Combine elements in prepared basin.
Mix until smooth.
Season to taste.

When the mountain refluxes
And only sand remains
Remove lovers.

Serving size: 2

Linus Gelber - 11/18/2002

Tue, 04 May 2004 02:19:17 GMT

POP CLASSICAL?

Lynn of Reflections in d minor does some pondering on whether classical can (or even should) have broad popular appeal. I'm indifferent as to the size of classical musics audience, but I don't think it can ever be very large.

The joy of classical music is that it takes a certain amount of intellectual effort to follow the melody and to take pleasure in the little tricks the music performs as it progresses from beginning to end. This means two things - you have to pay attention, and you have to be smart enough to understand what's going on.

Stupid people, by their nature, are unable to follow the complex musical theatrics of a classical piece, nor are they likely to enjoy it, since it's "too much work".

Pop music, and I mean the hackneyed, unimaginative dreck that passes for top 40 (lookin' YOUR way, Britney) has a skull-smashingly primitive and regular drum beat, with occasional bits of something vaguely like a musical instrument plinking out something almost like musical notes in a random progression that can be called a melody, if you're very generous with the definition. This kind of music takes no effort. It clubs the listener over the head, and drags it by the hair back to it's cave for a bit of quick, yet somehow satisfying, carnal knowledge. All the listener has to do is lie back and think of England until it's over. No mental effort need be expended.

It's EASY.

Not that there's anything wrong with that. A little intellectual junk food is the spice of life, but most people subsist on it. They're barely aware anything else even exists, and their palates are too jaded by the pure sugar rush to appreciate the subtle mix of spices that classical has to offer. Or they would be, if they were born with any intellectual taste buds at all.

But when you stop to consider that an average person isn't that bright, and half the people are, by definition, dumber than that, and the first 30% or so above the half-way point aren't that far above (it's a bell curve, you know), you begin to see that the musical playing field is not level, the bats are corked, and classical music is out in far left field with the sun in its eyes and Bartman in the stands.

Which is a shame, because it's good stuff. But until genetic engineering eliminates stupidity from the human genome, Classical will have a limited potential audience.