June 21 - Well, I haven't written in a long time as I was hoping to have some definitive answers on tests regarding an ovarian cyst. I've been poked, prodded, biopsied, and another ultrasound later this week. In my heart-of-hearts, I think everything is fine, but they just keep watching and ordering more tests. In the meantime, by lymphoma seems to still be in check. Just had another appointment and am good for another 3 months. At that time I'll have another round of MRI's on my brain and eyes and another full-body CAT scan. I continue to feel great and am thankful every single day for that fact.

Since I last wrote we had our local Relay for Life (American Cancer Society) and I co-captained a team with a dear friend - a ten-year survivor - and with the help of our family and friends, we raised over $30,000 for cancer research - and the whole event raised over $300,000. It was just terrific! And the very best part was having a surprise visit from Claire - and Dylan and Kelly were there, along with David, my father, and a host of friends and supporters. Brooke sent cards and phone messages. It was a real family affair!

Will keep you all posted. But in the meantime, here's my new favorite quote from Goethe:

NOTHING IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN THIS DAY! XOXO   3:57:56 PM    

April 11 - Well, let's see..... Am completely recovered from the appendix and my last visit with Dr. Tsarwhas was very uplifting. He said that the only place I currently have cancer is in my bone marrow and that it can lay dormant there for quite some time. So I am feeling very lucky and very optimistic about my future health prospects and am trying not to think about it too much. Of course, today I am going in for an ultrasound for my left ovary (It's always something. Those darn scans pick up EVERYthing!) :) I don't have to repeat scans for 6 months, but will continue to see Dr. T every three months. I'm looking forward to a busy gardening season. David, in his incredible generosity, has given me carte blance to refashion the back yard. I think we have come to realize that we no longer need to much lawn and that it might be fun to pull out some of those pictures I have been collecting for years and make it my dream yard. I will move slowly with this, as I need to give it alot of thought, and will probably want the help of a landscape architect, but what a lovely project to work on over the next few years. It is such great therapy for me, and aren't I lucky to have a husband who is so clever!!??   10:49:12 AM    

March 15 Well, I had an interesting weekend. Was at the office Thursday and took a late lunch @ 2 for a Mcburger (no bun), and @ 3 p.m. I was "attacked" by what I was sure must be Mad Cow disease - severe pains in my stomach. I left the office in a hurry and just wanted to get home to my bed. I knew it didn't feel exactly like any other pain I had ever had, but was sure it would pass. I sent David on to his Cuba Twp. meeting that evening, as I didn't really feel conversational, but asked him to keep his cell phone on. Mid-evening, I called friend Alison with whom I had been two days before, because she had called to warn me that she had gotten the stomach flu. Her symptoms did not include sharp pains. AS it happens, her husband is our family physician. She put him on the phone, and when he asked me where my pain was on a scale of one to ten and I told him 9 (thinking, well, it would be worse if I couldn't manage to get my words out)and he suggested that it might be time to go to the emergency room. (I would describe the pain as my entire abdomen, and like a knife turning). So I called David at the end of his meeting at 9:15 p.m., he came right home, and in we went. Got to the hospital about 10, saw the nurse within 1/2 hour, got right into a room, and they ordered a CAT scan (oh no, not again! Had just had one the week before!) This meant 4 glasses of barium. 1/2 hour apart. I made David go home to get some sleep. There was nothing he could do for me and I couldn't bear to think of him sleeping upright in a hospital chair! At 4 a.m. we all decided it was most likely my appendix (sp?) Unfortuantely, it was hidden in the CT scan, but there was inflamation everywhere, so Dr. Bob Flannigan was called. He was there in 1/2 hour, at which time I gave David a quick call and said, "Don't come now - come in an hour - they are going to take out my appendix." My anesthesiologist was Dr. Wirtz, about whom I'd heard many good things. I told him I had sat at several luncheons with his adorable wife. I also asked Dr. Flannigan to please remove any surrounding fat he could get his fingers on! Anyway, I awakened to the lovely sensation of NO PAIN, and Dr. Wirtz told me that my appendix was "about to blow." Lucky me! This was early Friday morning. I was released from the hospital SAturday noon, and now I have a week's vacation at home! I'm woozy from the anesthesia, but otherwise, feel fine. Just moving a little slowly. In the meantime, my MRI report was good.   9:05:55 AM    

March 1, 2004 Had back-to-back tests today. Just the regular 3 month CAT scan to look for new lymphoma in my torso and MRI to make sure nothing is going on in my eye nor brain (well, we KNOW nothing much is going on in my brain!). By the time I ran a few errands and got home, there was already a message from Dr. Tsarwhas saying that the CT scan looked great. No new lymphoma to report. But, of course, they did find a cyst on my left ovary (go figure) and so I'll be needing a ultrasound to check that out. No big deal. Probably alot of people have them and never know it unless there are symptoms. Once you have cancer and they check you from stem to stern, you just find out everything sooner rather than later. Too much information!!! I am not anticipating any problem with the MRI, nor is Dr. T. So for now, all is well. Thanks for caring!   6:34:45 PM    

1/29/04 Had a check-up with Dr. T on Monday. All is well. Will have MRI and CAT scan in early March, and if they are both clear, he may let me go 6 months before the next scans. Will see him every three months, regardless - for the rest of my life, I suppose. I'm glad he's younger than I am!!!!

I was rather dumbfounded to have been asked to be the Honorary Chair of this year's Relay for Life in Barrington. I really couldn't understand why I would be "honorary," but it is a cause near and dear to our hearts (David & good friend Nancy Nemec co-chaired the event 2 years in a row and set state records for raising $$). It really is just honorary. I have to say a few words at 2 or 3 events. Nancy and I had already decided to host a team together. We've named it "Hope & Courage," and we are asking all our friends to join our team so that we can have one Big-A.... party the night of the event (Friday, June 11 - high school football field). Who wouldn't want to help raise money for cancer research, and it's a very moving and inspirational event!!

So, not much to report, thankfully. Will have my eye rechecked in March also. It is slowly improving. I feel great and I thank my lucky stars that I have each of you in my life!   7:12:29 AM    

1/8/04 Well, we had the most wonderful holiday with everyone home. Can't even tell you.... On the 29th I had my final appointment with Dr. Ahmad (eye surgeon) who was happy to report that my left eye is actually improving. We've gone to ointment only at night and some new drops by day, and happily, my eye make-up no longer slides off and and I am pleased to apply my beauty every morning again. He says it will still take months for the inflamation of the eyelids from the radiation to die down. But at least I can see improvement, so I'm happy!

I see Dr. Tsarwhas in a few weeks - just for a routine 3 month check-up. We'll see if there are any new flare-ups. These things are determined by a combination of physical exam, blood work, and periodic scans. I feel terrific, so I'm not anticipating any problems....but then I have to remember that I have felt terrific all along.

David & are are heading to the Big Apple today. David has business and I will have nothing but pleasure. I LOVE NY! We will see Deanna Pacelli in her one-woman show, "There Goes the Neighborhood," at the Brooklyn Historical Society. Written by she and her roommate, they have received rave reviews. We are so proud of her! We have followed Deanna since her high school productions, to Madison to NYU. De is the 25 year old daughter of our life-long friends, Greg and Mary Pacelli of St. Charles (Greg and I went to grade school together and they both went to college with David). Happy New Year to ALL!!!   8:48:33 AM    

12/10/03 All tests in with great results. Everything normal @ the liver and my eye tumors are gone. What a lucky girl am I!!!   10:05:44 PM