RichardBellikoff.com

Thu, 01 Feb 2007 16:16:03 GMT

The Good German

Dana Milbank of the Washington Post describes the Kissassinger testimony before the Senate Foreign Relations Committee yesterday:

Kissinger, the master of nuanced phrases such as "not incompatible," provided few such broad pronouncements yesterday. Indeed, he pronounced very little in his low, German-accented rumble.
"I want to make sure I heard you right, because it's hard to hear you, so tell me if I heard you right," Sen. Barbara Boxer (D-Calif.) directed him.
Kissinger responded with a guttural sound that the transcript labeled "(inaudible)."
It must have been a terrifying hearing for stenographers, who recorded Kissinger's utterances with phrases such as "we should avoid its (inaudible) deployment" and "we should work in the direction that will (inaudible) for maximum stability."

Inaudibility is always the best way to experience any utterance emanating from the Bush regime. That's what the Mute button on the remote is for.

Wed, 24 Jan 2007 21:16:06 GMT

Entrance Strategy

I have no idea what Bush meant last night when he said "This is not the fight we entered in Iraq but it is the fight we are in."

Not the fight we entered? Did the Devil make him invade Iraq? What was all that speechifying in 2003 about WMDs and mushroom clouds? Has all the carnage since then been a mass hallucination on the part of the US citizenry?

Sounds like Bush was trying to channel Churchill and got Rumsfeld instead.

Chris Hedges, author of "War is a Force that Gives Us Meaning," is appearing at Vroman's bookstore in Pasadena tomorrow night. Maybe he knows what it means.

Wed, 17 Jan 2007 00:30:43 GMT

May you live in challenging times

According to an NPR story:

Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice is meeting with Arab leaders to promote President Bush's troop buildup in Iraq. But Arab leaders mistrust Iraq's government and are dubious about the new proposal. In urging acceptance of the plan, Rice told her Saudi counterpart that positive change only comes out of challenging times.

Rice also told the Arab leaders that they shouldn't tolerate any interference in Iraq's affairs by foreign governments -- foreign governments other than the USA, that is.

Mon, 08 Jan 2007 18:45:03 GMT

Waiting to Exhale

Must be a leak of Bush's Iraq "surge" speech, scheduled to be delivered on Wednesday at 9 PM New York time.

NEW YORK (CNN) -- New York officials evacuated a number of buildings and shut down some trains after a mysterious gaslike odor was reported Monday.

A New York Police Department spokesman said an air quality test determined that the air is not hazardous, and the U.S. Department of Homeland Security said there is no indication terrorism was involved.

New York Mayor Michael Bloomberg called the smell "unpleasant" but said it posed no harm.

Sat, 30 Dec 2006 20:01:23 GMT

Dead Presidents' Society

My postman has just informed me that there will be no postal service this Tuesday, January 2nd, in honor of Gerald Ford.

It turns out that whenever a president dies, it's a bank and postal holiday -- although this custom apparently doesn't apply to former presidents of Iraq.

I'd be willing to forego my postal service for an entire week if it would hasten Bush's departure from this Earthly vale of tears.

Fri, 29 Dec 2006 20:39:56 GMT

Have you driven a Ford lately?

While overdosing on Gerald Ford eulogies, I couldn't help thinking of what Gore Vidal once said about him in an interview (written from memory):

"Nixon would never have picked somebody who was any good. Ford is like one of those Halloween Jack O'Lanterns that we find on our doorstep, and who knows what horrors are inside? Never underestimate Nixie's sense of fun."

The TV political pundits don't seem to be able to agree on whether Ford will lay in state or lie in state. Of course, Nixon lied in state just as he lied in life.

Tue, 12 Dec 2006 00:46:55 GMT

It's a bird, it's a plane, it's Ubermann!

Josef Joffe, the author of "Uberpower: The Imperial Temptation of America," was on CSPAN2 yesterday.

We might still be an Uberpower if the current occupant of the Weisshaus wasn't such a Dummkopf.

Fri, 08 Dec 2006 18:44:14 GMT

The Weakly Substandard

Paul Krugman points out that "They Told You So":

Shortly after U.S. forces marched into Baghdad in 2003, The Weekly Standard published a jeering article titled, “The Cassandra Chronicles: The stupidity of the antiwar doomsayers.” Among those the article mocked was a “war novelist” named James Webb, who is now the senator-elect from Virginia.

Now, only a few neocon dead-enders still believe that this war was anything but a vast exercise in folly. And those who braved political pressure and ridicule to oppose what Al Gore has rightly called “the worst strategic mistake in the history of the United States” deserve some credit.

Unlike The Weekly Standard, which singled out those it thought had been proved wrong, I’d like to offer some praise to those who got it right.

Bill Kristol should turn over the publication of his Weekly rang to Billy Crystal. At least it would be funny -- and not just unintentionally.

Wed, 06 Dec 2006 22:53:09 GMT

The Year of Living Dangerously

Forget about the civil war in Iraq or the unfortunate demise of James Kim today in the snows of western Oregon. For true daredevil behavior, consider that for over a decade, I've not only been ordering cebollitas (little green onions) with my tacos at Baja Fresh, but have also added large portions of bagged spinach to my salad.

For my next death-defying stunt, I plan to order a strawberry smoothie at Jamba Juice.

If that doesn't kill me, I'll go to a New York restaurant and ask for something cooked in trans fats, risking a beating by a crazed mob of anti-cholesterol zealots.

Wed, 06 Dec 2006 22:52:07 GMT

The Trans Fat Study Report

New York has just become the first city in the USA to ban trans fats in restaurants.

Since everything Bush touches turns to shit, why don't we fire him as commander-in-chief of the War on Terror and put him in charge of the War on Cholesterol? That's something he should be able to handle. He can declare french fries and onion rings to be members of the Axis of Evil and take it from there.

Wed, 29 Nov 2006 19:50:33 GMT

Ain't gonna study war no more

According to CNN, the Iraq Study Group has just announced that it will release its report on December 6th.

That's why December 7th remains, as FDR said, "a date which will live in infamy."

Wed, 29 Nov 2006 19:49:00 GMT

Who's on Frist

Bill Frist has abandoned his quest for the presidency. Somebody must have reminded him that he has all the charm of an undertaker. If you want to be president, you have to be able to at least fake likeability.

Poor guy, now that he's retired from the Senate, all he'll have to fall back on is his family's health care fortune.

Wed, 29 Nov 2006 02:36:37 GMT

The Odd Couple

Today on MSNBC, some pundit opined that "Bush should have taken out Moqtada al-Sadr a few years ago when he had the chance."

What would Laura think of her husband, the anti-gay marriage crusader, going out with another man?

Tue, 14 Nov 2006 06:27:57 GMT

Rooting for Rudy

I don't know whether any mayor has ever been elected president, but Rudy Giuliani, perhaps buoyed by the debut of the first-ever Italian-American Speaker of the House, has set up an exploratory committee for a presidential bid, and is the Republican frontrunner in today's CNN poll. Unlike former presidential hopefuls George "Macacawitz" Allen and Rick "Sanctum" Santorum, Rudy doesn't look like Howdy Doody.

Nevertheless, his campaign's theme song uses the Howdy Doody melody.

It's Giuliani time, it's Giuliani time, it's Giuliani time, it's Giuliani time

So let's all give a cheer, 'cause Giuliani's here

It isn't Bloomberg time, it's Giuliani time

Thu, 09 Nov 2006 23:22:05 GMT

The Macaca Cowboy

George "Macacawitz" Allen has just conceded defeat in the Virginia senatorial race. He opened his concession speech by tossing a football into the crowd; His father used to coach the Washington Redskins, a redskin being another kind of macaca.

Last night on the Larry King show, Bill Maher said we have to stop electing these affable characters like Bush and Allen, "these empty suits who wear cowboy hats and have crap on their boots." And indeed, Allen made several Bush-like stumbles during his speech today, the most glaring one being, while extolling the economy of his state, coming close to saying "entremanure" instead of "entrepreneur." Clearly he has caca, or macaca, on the brain.

Thu, 09 Nov 2006 07:21:01 GMT

Conrad Burns in Hell

Jon Tester sounds like the name of a guy who does safety tests on bathrooms, along with Wall Street Journal op-ed writer John Fund, who heads a mutual fund that invests in them.

Nevertheless, Tester has just defeated Conrad Burns in the race for Senator from Montana.

With 100% of precincts reporting, the Senatorial results for Montana are as follows:

Tester: 198,302
Burns: 195,455

That totals less than 400,000 voters in the entire state of Montana. I probably had more people than that living on the New York city block where I grew up.

Thu, 19 Oct 2006 18:42:30 GMT

The San Andreas Default

Just in time for the election:

More Homeowners Going Into Default

The number of Californians who are significantly behind on their mortgage payments and at risk of losing their homes to foreclosure more than doubled in the three months ended Sept. 30, providing the latest evidence of trouble in the housing market, figures released Wednesday show.

Lenders sent out 26,705 default notices — the first step toward a foreclosure — during the July-to-September period, up from 12,606 during the same quarter in 2005, according to DataQuick Information Systems.

It's the flip side of Bush's Ownership Society -- the Foreclosure Society.

Thu, 28 Sep 2006 20:05:33 GMT

Freedom Fries

New York is proposing to ban the use of trans fats for cooking in restaurants.

Trans fats, used for cooking such items as french fries, can cause heart disease by raising levels of bad cholesterol.

If they called it evil cholesterol instead, Bush could launch a global war on it and New York wouldn't need the ban.

Tue, 26 Sep 2006 23:27:34 GMT

Severance Package

I don't recall seeing Christians riot after the title character in "Salome" sings her long aria to the severed head of John the Baptist.

One of the leading opera houses in Germany has cancelled a production because a scene that might offend Muslims could create a security threat.

The production of the opera Idomeneo features a scene in which a character presents the severed heads of religious leaders -- including Jesus, the Buddha and Muhammad.

The Deutsche Oper in Berlin said police had warned that staging the production could pose a security risk to the opera house, its employees and patrons.

Staging this production could give a whole new meaning to "They really killed 'em at the box office" and "We bombed last night."

Tue, 19 Sep 2006 22:36:31 GMT

The Blues

Ticketmaster is giving the public a chance to bid on tickets for the upcoming Blue Man Group tour.

But do they perform in red states?

Mon, 18 Sep 2006 23:00:01 GMT

Frank gets Richer

Frank Rich's new book, "The Greatest Story Ever Sold," just came out today, and by a strange coincidence, he just happened to be on TV today talking about it -- for example, on MSNBC's "Hardball."

The book is apparently new material, not just a collection of his columns like so many journalists do. Getting paid twice for the same work is a good trick, especially since most of us have trouble getting paid once in the new globalized economy.

Wed, 13 Sep 2006 06:11:31 GMT

The Silver-Tongued Texan

The death of Ann Richards brought forth endless re-screenings of her verbal evisceration of Bush the Elder:

"Poor George. He can't help it. He was born with a silver foot in his mouth."

And his son was born with a mouthful of both feet and both legs.

Tue, 12 Sep 2006 01:59:31 GMT

Ramada Inn

Today on CNN, I heard anchorman Jim Clancy, in conversation with reporter Michael Ware, refer to the Iraqi city of Ramadi as "Ramada."

"War is God's way of teaching Americans geography."

- Ambrose Bierce

Tue, 12 Sep 2006 00:20:12 GMT

Due Process

Keith Olbermann was impassioned and eloquent in his 10-minute on-air denunciation of Bush last night. The only part I didn't like was the ending, "May this country forgive you."

Why should we forgive the SOB? He deserves to be in solitary confinement in Guantanamo, in an orange jump suit and blindfolded with his "Mission Accomplished" banner.

Fri, 08 Sep 2006 19:15:43 GMT

Remotely Possible

The latest innovation in airline security:

LAX Launches Remote Check-In
Passengers will be able to drop off luggage and get boarding passes at sites throughout the city.
By Jennifer Oldham
Times Staff Writer

September 9, 2006

Instead of hauling bags, strollers, skis and other items through long lines at ticket counters to check them on airplanes, LAX passengers will be able to drop off luggage and obtain boarding passes at locations throughout the city, under a program announced Friday.

Officials hope that the program will revolutionize how passengers use Los Angeles International Airport and will eliminate an inconvenience for travelers and decrease the security risk presented by long lines at ticket counters and at skycap stands. Experts have long said travelers in these lines are vulnerable to a luggage or car bomb attack.

Now if only they would offer flights from remote sites throughout LA.