Friday, March 21, 2008

American Cigars Someone sent me a box of American cigars recently. Don't waste your time or money, please. While I appreciate the fact that I have many American friends, and they try to give me gifts to show respect, your cigars are just not very good believe me. Better to smoke weeds gathered from the ditches around Havana, wrap them up with twine and try to smoke those. I hope you know that I am not being unkind, only honest. And besides, the doctors do not want me to smoke anything. Better they not know what I do late at night when I am left alone. And while we're at it, let me point out that some of Cuba's enemies have been circulating a photo of me supposedly smoking a Tiparillo cigar recently. This is a fake. First of all, as I have said I do not smoke American cigars, and secondly, I would never smoke a cigar with a plastic tip. That's not natural. And this product, well the last time I read its label it mentioned that there were non tobacco products mixed up in it. What kind of Norte Americano B.S. is this? I will sue those responsible for this outrageous slander that is for certain. Another package of American cigars has arrived since I last posted. Did I not make myself perfectly clear on this? You would do better to wrap goat dung up in rotten sugar cane leaves, douse it with kerosene, and light it on fire.* I like the American people -- I just don't like your leaders or your cigars. Please, no more tobacco products. Although I might like to try a Camel cigarette again. It has been years. *Editor's note -- do not actually try this. 8:00:54 AM

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