Updates: The guy never sent the cigar butt for DNA analysis, so I don't know what to think. See below.
And Maria came out to the estate yesterday (also see below), but the images that she told us about were pretty much faded and I couldn't really make out much from it. I just wish Carlos had had a digital camera on him, but he had one of the old fashioned ones that take film, and the lab ruined the entire roll. This is very disappointing to me.
Okay, believe this or not. My friend Carlos'* wife, Maria, was out at the beach this last weekend, wearing some sort of straw hat to shield her face from the Cuban sun. It turns out that there was a small hole in one side of the brim, and Maria -- who is light skinned and I suspect is not of true Cuban ancestry, but no matter -- now has a sunburn near her left temple that -- God help me but it is true -- appears to be a glorious hammer and sickle. Yes! Can you believe this? And with many of my fellow countrymen now planning for a fantastic celebration of our fiftieth year in power, well, you know that this is just incredible. I have not seen this image myself, of course, but we have invited the two of them out to the estate yet this week for photographs and such. I will let you know more, but is this not just the best news ever?
*Yes, he is the one who played that awful April Fools Day joke on me, but I have forgiven him.
One of the strangest things that has happened to me recently is I get a call from a guy who claims to have a collection of my cigar butts from various political speeches I have given in the past as a younger man. He says he has an even dozen of these butts that he keeps in a cigar box and he would like to bring them to the estate, meet me, and have me autograph the box to sort of document this collection. I am dumfounded by all this as they say. How do I know that they are really my cigar butts and how about the sanity of this person? I am happy of course that there is someone out there who admires me enough to save my cigar butts and want to meet me -- but I worry if he is telling the truth and if there are possibly other reasons why he wants to gain access to my estate.
He did contact me a second time, wanting to know when he could come for a visit. We stalled him while we did some investigation and one of my assistants said well why not have him send you one of these cigar butts and we could do a DNA test on it? Now I do not understand all of this scientific stuff, but it sounds like a good idea. This guy agreed to that and we are now awaiting the shipment of one of the cigar butts. We promised to take very good care of it you know and we do not wish to alienate someone who could be such a fan. Still, I am suspicious.
We're still waiting for that cigar butt to arrive you know. It has been a week or so and that guy promised to send it right away. What do you suppose has happened? Is he a fake, a flake, or what?
Oh, and for those of the people who know I write poetry and play a little guitar -- yes, the Castro Brothers Band from our youth is reuniting and I think we may do a date or two in the near future. It is good to have a hobby in retirement that provides fulfillment and soothes the soul you know. And when this happens, we will announce it in plenty of time for everyone to get a ticket. We will be playing some of your favorite songs from the early days of the Revolution like Bye Bye Batista*, and This is a Song About Che'* just to name a couple.
*Yes, these are real songs -- I wrote them so I ought to know.
8:00:35 AM 
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