Donald Seger: Comrade Fidel

Damon Runyon

Thu, 07 Aug 2008 13:09:50 GMT

Well now -- our weekend trips to America this summer have been a lot of fun and I hope that you enjoy my reports. I am definitely getting interested in all things American and have been reading some old stuff that seemed popular in its day. I ran across an author by the name of Damon Runyon who interests me. He wrote lots of stuff out of New York City, of course, and that musical Guys and Dolls was made out of some of his writings. Here's a quote from him which I think shows you what he was about: The race may not always be to the swift nor the victory to the strong, but that's how you bet. Wow! That is really profound, don't you think?

Oh, and one more thing for this posting. I know nothing of this Russian Putin's recent comments about re-establishing a Soviet presence in Cuba. I repeat -- I know nothing about this. I'll have to ask Raul.

Middle English

Tue, 08 Jul 2008 15:25:39 GMT

Now here is something interesting. I slept very deeply last night, dreamed of the early days of the revolution, and awoke with the ability to speak Middle English. No, not Old English -- hardly anyone can speak that. Middle English. How do I know this? Well, Raul is a reader, you know, and he has been reading a paperback copy of this guy Chaucer's Canterbury Tales for some time now. He left his copy here a couple of days ago when he was out here at the estate having drinks with me and some of our associates.

Well, on with the story. I had my cup of coffee that I always have in the morning, and just happened to pick up the book lying on a table, and as I was thumbing through the pages (There weren't many pictures), I found I could read the darn thing!   Holy Mother of God, I could read it! Now this is amazing because to tell the truth I have always had trouble with English, Modern English that is. Of course, I do not care if I speak English or not. I always have my translators. (One of them is editing this note.) But to be able to suddenly and without training read from a language many hundreds of years old -- well, I do not know how to express my amazement.

Why this happened I do not know, but it is for a reason this I am sure of. I will definitely have more to say in the near future. For now, here is a brief passage from the Bible (New Testament) that shows Middle English and Modern English translations, just to give you an idea of what is going on here. I hope you enjoy it. Comments welcome.

And it is don, aftirward Jesus made iourne bi cites & castelis prechende & euangelisende þe rewme of god, & twelue wiþ hym & summe wymmen þat weren helid of wicke spiritis & sicnesses, marie þat is clepid maudeleyn, of whom seuene deuelis wenten out & Jone þe wif off chusi procuratour of eroude, & susanne & manye oþere þat mynystreden to hym of her facultes

    "And it came to pass afterward, that he went throughout every city and village, preaching and showing the glad tidings of the kingdom of God: and the twelve were with him, and certain women, which had been healed of evil spirits and infirmities, Mary called Magdalene, out of whom went seven devils, and Joanna the wife of Chuza Herod's steward, and Susanna, and many others, which ministered unto him of their substance."

   - Translation of Luke 8.1-3 from the New Testament
      from http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Middle_English

Strange Happenings

Sun, 06 Apr 2008 13:00:35 GMT

Updates: The guy never sent the cigar butt for DNA analysis, so I don't know what to think. See below.

And Maria came out to the estate yesterday (also see below), but the images that she told us about were pretty much faded and I couldn't really make out much from it. I just wish Carlos had had a digital camera on him, but he had one of the old fashioned ones that take film, and the lab ruined the entire roll. This is very disappointing to me.

Okay, believe this or not. My friend Carlos'* wife, Maria, was out at the beach this last weekend, wearing some sort of straw hat to shield her face from the Cuban sun. It turns out that there was a small hole in one side of the brim, and Maria -- who is light skinned and I suspect is not of true Cuban ancestry, but no matter -- now has a sunburn near her left temple that -- God help me but it is true -- appears to be a glorious hammer and sickle. Yes! Can you believe this? And with many of my fellow countrymen now planning for a fantastic celebration of our fiftieth year in power, well, you know that this is just incredible. I have not seen this image myself, of course, but we have invited the two of them out to the estate yet this week for photographs and such. I will let you know more, but is this not just the best news ever?

*Yes, he is the one who played that awful April Fools Day joke on me, but I have forgiven him.

One of the strangest things that has happened to me recently is I get a call from a guy who claims to have a collection of my cigar butts from various political speeches I have given in the past as a younger man. He says he has an even dozen of these butts that he keeps in a cigar box and he would like to bring them to the estate, meet me, and have me autograph the box to sort of document this collection. I am dumfounded by all this as they say. How do I know that they are really my cigar butts and how about the sanity of this person? I am happy of course that there is someone out there who admires me enough to save my cigar butts and want to meet me -- but I worry if he is telling the truth and if there are possibly other reasons why he wants to gain access to my estate.

He did contact me a second time, wanting to know when he could come for a visit. We stalled him while we did some investigation and one of my assistants said well why not have him send you one of these cigar butts and we could do a DNA test on it? Now I do not understand all of this scientific stuff, but it sounds like a good idea. This guy agreed to that and we are now awaiting the shipment of one of the cigar butts. We promised to take very good care of it you know and we do not wish to alienate someone who could be such a fan. Still, I am suspicious.

We're still waiting for that cigar butt to arrive you know. It has been a week or so and that guy promised to send it right away. What do you suppose has happened? Is he a fake, a flake, or what?

Oh, and for those of the people who know I write poetry and play a little guitar -- yes, the Castro Brothers Band from our youth is reuniting and I think we may do a date or two in the near future. It is good to have a hobby in retirement that provides fulfillment and soothes the soul you know. And when this happens, we will announce it in plenty of time for everyone to get a ticket. We will be playing some of your favorite songs from the early days of the Revolution like Bye Bye Batista*, and This is a Song About Che'* just to name a couple.

*Yes, these are real songs -- I wrote them so I ought to know.

American Cigars

Fri, 21 Mar 2008 13:00:54 GMT

Someone sent me a box of American cigars recently. Don't waste your time or money, please. While I appreciate the fact that I have many American friends, and they try to give me gifts to show respect, your cigars are just not very good believe me. Better to smoke weeds gathered from the ditches around Havana, wrap them up with twine and try to smoke those. I hope you know that I am not being unkind, only honest. And besides, the doctors do not want me to smoke anything. Better they not know what I do late at night when I am left alone.

And while we're at it, let me point out that some of Cuba's enemies have been circulating a photo of me supposedly smoking a Tiparillo cigar recently. This is a fake. First of all, as I have said I do not smoke American cigars, and secondly, I would never smoke a cigar with a plastic tip. That's not natural. And this product, well the last time I read its label it mentioned that there were non tobacco products mixed up in it. What kind of Norte Americano B.S. is this? I will sue those responsible for this outrageous slander that is for certain.

Another package of American cigars has arrived since I last posted. Did I not make myself perfectly clear on this? You would do better to wrap goat dung up in rotten sugar cane leaves, douse it with kerosene, and light it on fire.* I like the American people -- I just don't like your leaders or your cigars. Please, no more tobacco products. Although I might like to try a Camel cigarette again. It has been years.

*Editor's note -- do not actually try this.