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	Saturday, February 26, 2005

If only...   ( on life) I try to spend a lot of time with my kids, and in as much as possible, try to play together with them.   One of the things we frequently play and enjoy are some educational games and puzzles that tests logic, and many word games.  I will write more about these in the future as I am convinced that many of these games positively develop certain mental and logical aspects of the growing kid.  Of course, as a parent, I would stress that playing together with your kids often also develop stronger bonds with them, and allows them to trust you with their issues as they are growing up, so that they would look at you not only as a parent, but also as their mentor and friend. One of the success criteria I would gauge myself is how much my children would look up to me even when they reach the puberty and adult age, and this is a job that I believe I  should start to work on even when they are still toddler age. One of the venerable games , of course,  is the word game SCRABBLE.  Usually there are four of us in the game, my wife, my 11 year old, my 9 year old, and myself.  Of course, my 9 year old is disadvantaged, but luckily, he is not one to be daunted.  However, he does try to show that he knows a thing or two.  And this is through an exercise called "if only".  He would  say that even if he was the youngest, he could even beat us if only he has the letter "g", so that he could form the word 'forget', which would land on the triple word score, and get him the highest point for the round.  Next round, he would smilingly ask his mom if he could exchange his letter 'v' with his mom's 'b' so that he could form 'bugle' which would get him a higher score.  I would smilingly tell my wife that our son was trying to play the game, IF ONLY.... But many people play the game IF ONLY even long after they have grown up.  If only I worked for a better company , if only I had a more understanding boss, if only I was born to a richer family .... ad nauseam. Many people mistake good execution with good intentions, and label daydreaming as ambitions.  I for one do not believe that constantly looking back is any good  ( drive  through life looking forward rather than constantly looking at the rear view mirror), and blaming our stars will not get us anywhere. If only I had a better education, if only I had a better job, if only I had spend more time with my family ....  There is not much we can do for what already happened, but there is SOMETHING we can do to make what we want to happen a reality. Indeed, instead of merely wishing, why not do something about it?   7:36:10 AM     comment []   trackback []

	Saturday, February 19, 2005

Leaving Money on the Table ( on life) I would like to paint a profile of somebody I know.  He is a young urban professional, and have made tremendous strides in going up the corporate ladder.  Compared to other people his age, he has a better income, and a nicer car.  You may not know him but his way of doing business may be something that will strike a familiar chord, and you may be able to relate him to somebody you know. He is a strict believer in optimizing his advantage, and never leaving money on the table.  He is a person who thinks you are a loser if you could charge the customer 100 dollars, but you allow him to pay you only 95.   He delights in his ability where other sales people got the deal after giving discounts, but he walked away selling at full price.  On the other hand, he is one who is aggressive to take advantage of every sales promo, and have no qualms of asking for any additional upgrade everytime he checks into a plane or hotel, or any discount in every purchase.  He is a person who tries not only to win in every deal he makes, but optimizing the win, and does not care if the other party feels aggrieved.  If he does you a favor, he takes pains to make sure you know about it, and you can almost be sure he will be there to collect it back sometime.  You are always apprehensive because you know that if he holds the aces and can squeeze you, he will.  He delights in having his pound of flesh, as if it was his trophy. Luckily, we don't do business with him anymore after his last job change. He has changed numerous jobs the last few years because he is always on the lookout for opportunities that can pay him a little bit more. He delights when people attribute to his material success, but I am not sure if deep down he is really happy, and I am not sure whether he really has a lot of true friends.  I have no doubt that he will be successful as a businessman, but will he be successful as a person, or a friend, or a family man? I have always believed that we work hard so that we can afford to be a little bit more generous and a little bit more hospitable.  I have always thought that business success is managing your business so that you can afford to be generous to your partners and customers, and make yourself and themselves winners. Maybe in the future, he will be richer than me ( or maybe not!) .  But fortunately, I have other criteria on which I want to base the evaluation of my life -- and while he is working to be richer, I will be there working to learn more, to make more friends, to smell more flowers, and to live life more happily. Leave Money on the Table.  Create win-wins!   If you do, people will like to do business and make friends with you, and you may not be able to optimize each opportunity, but there will be many many more to choose from!  4:14:13 PM     comment []   trackback []

	Monday, February 14, 2005

Love your Spouse, Love your Job, Love your Boss, Love Life!   ( on life)   It is Valentine’s Day.  This is the day when people celebrate love, and at least for one day, their lives ( or at least their emotions and their pockets) spiral out of control.  It is estimated that on this day, hundreds of millions of cards, over a hundred million roses, and over a billion dollars of chocolate will be given away. One out of every three Americans are also expected to dine out on the night of Feb 14.  For many, it is a vain attempt to catch love, even for a fleeting moment.   For many, it is a day to celebrate not only love, but romantic love.  But let us remember,  it is also a day to celebrate affection for those close to us, to show people how important they are to our lives.   In my writings, you will read a lot of what I talk about the principles of life and business, but at the heart of it, what will bring you success, or  happiness ( if you define success as such) is still our ability to love. In fact, Benjamin Disraeli said it right when he said that, “We are all born for love. It is the principle of existence, and its only  end.”   I have been very blessed ,  not necessarily because of material success, but I marry the woman I love (  but that also after the initial fire and romance, there is enduring love and trust that continue in our marriage)  , and have a family that enjoys together  ( my wife and I  just helped my eleven year old son make a valentine card for his puppy crush in school).  I also have been blessed that other than the time that I have to put in to earn a living, I also have the time to indulge in my love for learning, and also time to write, teach and participate in community activities.   I don’t usually get to do the things I love to do, but overall I enjoy my job, having learned that “ Instead of doing what you love to do, it is easier to love what you need to do. “   I also have been blessed that I can claim something that many people could not say -- I love my boss!  Of course, it helps that my boss is my wife.  You see, while I am president of the company,   I have two bosses in my life -- God and my wife.  It is not enough to say you love them, but it is important that such love is manifested in your complete trust to them, and giving them a say on how you live your life.   My wife has been my partner in making the major decisions in my life --and she knows that I trust her.  And because she knows I trust her, she also works hard to continue to earn that trust and return the respect -- which I feel have been the reason for our twelve years of happy marriage.    Who is your boss? Many will say they are their own boss, or they have several bosses already in the workplace.  But I feel that we should all choose somebody other than ourselves to be boss -- somebody bigger than us that we can work together to pattern our lives.  Somebody you can put your trust and who will return your trust and be your guide and mentor.     So love is important, but love with trust and mutual respect endures.   And loving and respecting your boss or mentor( of course, in other ways than romantic love) will not be there in many business books, but for me, it is a necessary requisite  not only for you to do well in your job, but also to be happy with your life.  There will be exceptions, but a majority of people will work hard not to betray a fellow human’s trust and faith.   Today, there are no special gifts for the wife  ( there is no practical reason to dine out and crowd with everybody, or buy roses when they are five to ten times more expensive than normal) , but she knows and she understands that I will be there on Love Day, but also the whole 365 and ¼ days of the year.   Love God, love learning, love your spouse and your family, love what you do, love your boss,  love life!   For me, that is the essence and meaning  of love and the not-so-secret and obvious formula of a  happy and successful life ( which we too often forget).  11:18:33 AM     comment []   trackback []

	Thursday, February 10, 2005

HAVE A PROSPEROUS NEW YEAR! It is now the Chinese year of the Rooster! This greeting was actually delayed because I was challenged that after 5 months of blogging about how to win in business and in life,  what is the best advice I can give. I finally thought of something that encapsulates the wisdom of everything I say, and it is this: LAUGH LOUD and OFTEN !!! 10:36:31 AM     comment []   trackback []

	Saturday, February 05, 2005

Would You Like to be Bill Gates?  ( on life) Bill Gates is probably one of the most recognized names in the world.  He topped the Forbes' list of the world's richest man for years in a row.  He also topped PriceWaterHouse Cooper's 2004 List of World's most Respected Business Leaders. *  He also owns the world's largest charitable foundation.  He is of course the chairman of the world's largest software company.  He is of course, acknowledge as one of the smartest technical and business minds in the business.  There is everything to envy in him.  Would you like to be him? However, in every success, there is always a price to pay, and I am sure after years of managing probably one of the world's most complex corporation in the world's most competitive industry, it must be taking a toll.  I am sure also that he would be tops if there was a survey as one of the world's most criticized CEOs as well.   Here is an eye opening article at CNET: Apparently, a piece of paper was left at UK Prime Minister Tony Blair's desk, and handwriting experts analyzed it.  After examining the tangle of boxes, circles, loops and notes on debt and trade, the experts described the writer as "struggling to concentrate" or "not a natural leader" or "frustrated and tense."   Apparently the paper turned out to be belonging to Bill Gates who was seated beside Blair. Guess being Gates is not that nice a walk in the park after all....  In everything, there is always more than what meets the eye.  It is important to study this carefully before we make our choices. -------- * For those that are interested, click on the PWC list, but the world's top 5 most respected businessmen are Bill Gates of Microsoft, Jack Welch, formerly of GE, Carlos Ghosn of Nissan, Warren Buffet of Berkshire Hathaway, and Michael Dell of Dell.   5:39:08 PM     comment []   trackback []