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	Tuesday, April 26, 2005

We are Who We Complain   ( on life) We had an employee evaluation feedback form when I noted that one of my managers noted that I don't listen well, and don't value his opinions.  I found the comment strange because his members have also commented that he himself was a very bad listener, and is hardly open minded. Which got me into thinking -- now this is not conclusive, but just an observation that constantly plays almost with regular precision-- would it be by any chance that in many cases, we are, in many cases, guilty of the behavior that we complained about? Have you for instance, meet people: -that are inconsiderate and feels that they were not treated with consideration by other people -that are selfish and complains about selfishness in other people. -that are lazy and complains about laziness in other people. -that are very discriminatory, and complains about being discriminated. -that are always late, and complains about being made to wait. -that are liars, and complains that other people are not being honest with them. -that are bad payers, and complains that they are not being paid on time by other people. -that are pseudo- smart and complains about the stupidity of people. And have you meet happy people who also finds other happy people?  Hard working people who never fails to notice the industry of other people? As I said, this is hardly conclusive, but then we can be very sharp on other people's fault, and be very blind to our own faults.   And it could be human nature to look harder something in others that which we unconsciously know we don't have. After all, we know the saying about the pot calling the kettle black.  What does it have to do about our plan to be a success?  Well, simply maybe next time before we critique, we can be more objective in evaluating our own selves first?  Maybe we should be harder on ourselves and seek independent opinion before we start judging?   11:31:11 PM     comment []   trackback []

	Friday, April 22, 2005

When your Best Days are Behind You  ( on life) When I won the E&Y Entrepreneur Award, I was asked what it meant.  I told them I think the award is a recognition not of what I have already achieved, but of the judges' recognition of my potential to even become better. Indeed, my life has been a paradoxical thing about what I really want. Everyday I yearn for early success so that I could take it easy and not have to prove myself.  But on the other hand, I get up everyday excited over the prospect that the best is yet to come. Which make me think... Early success is great but what would be the excitement if I know that my best days are over?  What is there to look forward to.? I know different people would have different takes, but I clearly would not be happy if I have the understanding that I have already reached my peak -- that my best days was in college when I was the best sports player, or won a beauty pageant.  What about the dot com millionaire who made 35 million dollars in the late 90's , and know he may never do anything near like it ever again? On second thought, maybe early success is not as fulfilling as I thought.  I want to choose to live with the excitement that I still have mountains to conquer, that my business still can get better, that my best writings and speeches are yet to come, and that there will be more places to visit, more customers to keep, and more challenges to overcome. Maybe the last thing I would want is to be like Alexander who cried that there would be no more lands to conquer. How about you.  What is your outlook in life? Isn't it a good choice to live life knowing success will come, and not  to reach it in due haste, but enjoy the journey knowing you will arrive in due time, and that the best journey is that which is enjoyed on the way, rather than on the speed in which you arrive? Is it a good idea to plan so that you can slowly peak, instead of reaching the peak early?  ... and then going downhill from thence on?   3:10:37 PM     comment []   trackback []

	Sunday, April 10, 2005

A Reason to be Happy  ( on life) We were taking our children to a resort.  The children loved swimming, and I figured it was a good time to have them appreciate what we were doing for them.  So I tried to needle some nice feedback. "Are you happy?" I asked my eldest kid, who is now 11. "yes, " he answered. "Why?" I asked, expecting him to say he was happy because we brought them to the place. He thought sometime about it, and asked back, "Dad, why? Do I need a reason?" On second thought, he was right. Maybe us grownups seemed jaded to think we should have a reason for everything. We don't need a reason to be happy. Happiness should be our natural, default state.  And if you are not happy, it makes more sense to keep asking yourself that you should have a good reason why not. After all, if you have 10 reasons to be happy, and 2 reasons not, logic dictates 10 wins over 2. Why would most of us end up being unhappy? 10:26:47 PM     comment []   trackback []

	Monday, April 04, 2005

Rethinking your Goals   (on life) Last year, I was studying some books for my MBA class when my son approached me.  "Dad, " he said, "why are you studying this?   I thought you had your exam last week" "Yes, " I replied, "We had our exam last week." "Then, why are you still studying? ", he asked incredulously as if he could not believe what he heard. "I studied because the subject is important, and what it is teaching us is important knowledge for the business. I was busy and did not have time to study before the exam, so I am studying after the exam", I patiently explained to him. "But dad, the exam is finished. " , he kept on, still not quite believing why anybody would be so dense as not to see his point. I saw his point, but he did not see mine.  After all, he has been brought up with the notion that you do your homework because your teacher assigned you to, or you study because you want to get good grades and get a degree.  Many times, there seems to be nobody to remind us in a matter-of-fact way the goal of studying is because you want to learn. I remember way back in college when I set out my task to be the smartest person in class.  The way to do it, I convinced myself, was to read one hundred pages a day.  So I decided to keep a list everyday. I would record and document how many pages I read, and make sure it was at least a hundred pages. The objective of reading that hundred pages a day became obsessive that instead of focusing on expanding my knowledge, I was more focused on the quantity of pages read.  The subgoal, originally conceived to achieve the original goal became a goal on its own, and the main goal was forgotten.  Even when I was tired, or the book was not interesting or particularly enlightening, I made sure I would keep that hundred pages. I read so much that I really did not have much time to reflect what I was reading.  Worse, I did not even care whether what I was focused too much on reading was particularly worth reading at all.  I was hitting my sub goal, but it did not get me nearer to my stated goal of becoming smarter. This fundamental rethinking of goals is important... in business and in life. In our industry, our competitors have become obsessed with selling more.  Of course, the fundamental reason you want to sell more is because  by selling more, you are supposed to make more.  But many businesses cut prices, or add on unnecessary expense in order to sell more.  Pretty soon, the goal of selling more becomes the main goal.  If you think about it, would you want to sell more if you knew you will end up doing more work and actually making less? Many people want to earn more.  Because they think it will make them happier.  However, beyond a certain point, we do see (even statistically) that many people who makes lots of money do not really end up happier.  Money, it seems, can make you happier or more miserable, depending on how you manage it. Don't forget to allocate time -- time to reflect, time to rethink our goals.  After all, success or happiness is just a matter of understanding and focusing what is really important to us in life. The next time I ask my kid why he is not studying, he will most likely reply its because there is no exam or assigned homework.  Maybe I need to remind him that that studying is not for the teacher, the parents or the exams.  It is to learn something! Can I challenge you to reflect and rethink your goals?   11:41:38 PM     comment []   trackback []