Wise Shopping
Christmas consumerism causes me all kinds of "cognitive dissonance." From the greedy impulse that leaps toward the object of desire (keep me out of all Mac stores), to the strange, lucid revelation that I will never be able to get the right amount of right Christmas gifts (I can neither afford nor find them), to the sudden insight that, of course, these presents are meant to somehow symbolize the love we have for the recepient (what if they can't read the symbol system I subscribe to?), the experience of Christmas shopping (or any other gifting, for that matter) swings me from moments of hopeful ecstasy to depressed resignation.
I like stuff as much as the next guy - growing up, my sister and I yearly made contests of counting presents. But somehow this year, as I walk the aisles of department stores and boutique specialty shops, periodically grabbing lattes to calm the nerves, I can't help but wonder at the strangeness of it all. The choice of gifts is overwhelming: miles of dresses, skirts, shirts, sweaters, shoes, socks, electronics, exotic foods, houseware glass and appliances, games, entertainments of all kinds, books, books, books....
What's the cultural comment here? I don't know, just questions: I wonder what Christmas mornings are really like in the homes across America? The kids tear into the packages, the adults open their smaller ones, brothers and sisters try on new clothes. Toys squeak and doink, new computers boot up, the lucky get the keys the big-bowed Lexus out front. Some will have to settle for a hug and a roof over their heads, and some, not even that.
Do we get the symbols? Do we receive the love offered? Maybe it's offered well, maybe not. Maybe it's the thought that counts, and maybe we haven't thought too much about it. But whatever's given, whatever broken offering's being unwrapped just now, do we take the giving into the privacy of our hearts, pausing at some point to just look across the room at the loved one taking pleasure in it, the gift given, hoping somehow (Dear God) they get the message we're tossing out there? And do we ever ask (Dear God) Providence to help our little exchange of love along? Or pray, "Thanks?"
Do you ever wish for a wise man experience? I do. It seems simpler somehow, deeper, though longer and harder, too. To travel all those miles, all those days and nights, hunting for just one recipient, carrying a gift that somehow represents all the love you have, all the hope inside you? Seeking, seeking, meditating on the one to receive the gift, the one that sits under a star, in the buried heart of the world?
But then, to have that kind of Christmas, I guess we'd have to be wise...
11:12:15 PM
