Sometimes I just don't want to admit that I need to adjust my attitude towards people and work makes me feel it more than ever. I think that I am better because I me; what do others sthink about themselves-do not they have a right to be themsleves, too?

There is always that feeling that only you can be right. But you can't see the inside of a person, so you have to go on what and who they are.

Jesus, anyway, saw me thru it.

IP CRL

Monday, March 06, 2005

One of the biggest obstacles to grace in the work place is getting ahead of yourself, and that is what I found myself doing today. It is one thing to have the best intentions in carrying our your duties and quite another to carry it thru to the end with teh same simple intention. Custody of heart is an essential aspect of making this happen in a CHristian way. I know that the people around me are quite happy to ask me to do all kinds of things and it is my duty to help every employee when he asks me to, so I have no complaints there. I have a fault in letting myself slip off into doing things just because they are actions adn not becaus eI have a purpose in them even if it is just giving goo dcustomer service and that is what I am expected to do. THis could be a habit ingrained in me form childhood or early adulthood. All it take sis a little more mindfulness to my actions that's all. Maybe I can try that another day. At least today I see the need for imporovement and that makes my day and it will mae a better employee in the end.

IP CRL

2:40 a.m.

Just getting in and it has been a long night. It seems like when you are trying to do your best, the Lord Jesus allows all kinds of things to happen to purify your intention. Overall what I was able to recognize was my downright weakness before what I call controversial spirits. Little harassments but constant in their upsetting me. The one thing that keesp you going is the next duty, and just keeping the right attitude, doing it all for the Lord. After all, does any other thing matter? No one can see your intention nor can see how clos eyou are to the Lord, but God sees all these things and that is what matters. It is very difficult to not judge the motivations and intentiosn of others and try to keep your own pure.

I think at the heart of Gospel spirituality is this purity of heart and keeping it pure befreo the Lord. Little annoyances and anxieties and worries seem to keep coming back with forcefulness.

Maybe it will get better and the Lord Jesus will strengthn me in another day.

IP CRL

March 03, 2005

I've become more and more convinced as time goes on that where we work is where the Lord Jesus calls us to become saints. I mean that it is in the marketplace in the mix of people that more grace flows, giving each Christian an opportunity ot make faith and grace real and solid in their lives. For example tonight, no sooner than I started to work than I was hit with so many temptations against purity of heart and even though I kept calling upon the Lord Jesus it seemed that they were getting more stonger. What finally kept me in touch with grace was the fact that I kept repeatin got myself that the Lord is near. Later, I was moved to anger and resentment towards some of my fellow workers. You know these kinds of temptations can get you nowhere and you have to just keep moving forward with the strong hope that Jesus will see you thru. Mary, is always so faithful at times like these. She makes you feel that each of her children is always so special. It is hard for the person who doesn't have faith to sdee these things, whcih doesn't make them less but it is according to Divine Providence that God uses all of us to strengthen the good; on the other hand, the evil tha twe have to endure can be used to strengthen his children. I'm absolutely convinced that every molecule of the universe is Divinely governed by the Most Holy Trinity and can use all of it to perfec this creatures and when I experience in myslef thes etrying times and the putting into action the grace I receiv in the sacraments it makes me feel that much more sure of it all. Nonetheless, at the end of a day when you look back over each event it makes you so much more grateful to God and thos egood people that the Lord sends your way-and the bad-well , you know, 'it all works together for the good of those who love' Our Lord. Like Augustine says, 'our hearts are restless until they rest in thee.' When we experience a little of some of that rest, what a feeling of being exalted by the Lord, just to KNOW that HE EXIST AND IS NEAR THRU IT ALL.

This make sreceiving the HOLY EUCHARIST that much more powerful a sacrament for me, and makes me long to receive Our Lord again in Holy Communion.

IP CL